Seven Years
by headbandfreak
Summary: Love can be a painful experience if the one you love doesn't love you back. This is Bella's story. All human.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. I just love them.**

* * *

><p><strong>SEVEN YEARS<strong>

**Prologue**

**December, 2011.**

My heels clicked against the slippery pavement as I rushed through the crowded street, trying not to fall down on my ass. He had practically begged me on the phone not to be late this time, and I promised him. I was already ten minutes late though. He would be pissed and bicker all day. Well, as long as he smiled in between, I could handle his bitchy mood. I missed him too much to mind.

Running inside to the movie theatre as much as I could in my high heeled boots, I instantly spotted him standing in the corner with a scowl on his face. It had been nearly three months since I last saw him, and the sight of him in front of me brought tears to my eyes. Wiping my eyes furiously with my hands, I tried to calm down my over excited heart. He could not see me in this state, with a bright red face and misty eyes. I needed to stay cool and calm. He liked cool Bella. I loved him.

When I was calm enough, I walked towards him and he raised his head, putting his phone in his pocket. He tried to continue to scowl when he saw me, but I could see his mouth twitching, and I gave him a big smile. He rolled his eyes at my goofy expression and sighed loudly when I reached his side.

"What's your excuse this time, Swan? Ten minutes late," he said, pointing to his watch.

I looked down and closed my eyes for a second to just to revel in his voice. It was one of the things I loved the most about him, and it had been a long time since I heard it.

"It's raining," I mumbled weakly as I tilted my face up to his and opened my eyes to absorb his beautiful face. No matter how many times I saw his face, it always had the same effect on me. Something shifted in my chest and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Instead I made a move to hug him, and I closed my eyes once more when he responded, wrapping his arms around me.

"And?" he prodded, raising one of his eyebrows when I took a step back. I was always the one to break the embraces. I didn't want to get lost in the moment. The more I let myself be lost in him, the more it hurt later.

"Okay, I got caught up in reading. That's why I'm late. I'm sorry, Edward," I lied as he laughed.

I didn't get caught up in reading. Ever since he texted me this morning, I was in my room, fretting over what to wear. It was pitiful actually. I did it every single time. I would get frustrated over my look even if he had never noticed what I wore or what I did to my hair. Those past experiences didn't deter me from wearing the black jeans that Alice claimed made my butt and hips look thinner though and from wearing a pretty cream colored blouse. I was desperate for him to notice that I lost a few pounds since the last time we had seen each other.

"Since you're late, I get to pick the movie," he said, grabbing my elbow and pulling me towards the movie posters.

"No way," I argued, trying to ignore the tingly feeling in my arm.

"I'm choosing," he told me as he looked at me with his big green eyes and I sighed in defeat. I would tease and talk, but in the end I would see the movie he wanted to see. I had no willpower when it came to him.

"No, you're not," I said nonetheless, poking his arm. "I want to see this," I said, stopping in front of a romantic comedy's cheesy poster.

"No," he groaned, shaking his head and fiddling with his phone. I didn't even notice it was in his hands. He seemed so absorbed in whatever he was doing and that it irked me. I hated not knowing what was going on in his life.

"Come on," I whined, trying to get his attention back. "It looks horrible and that's why we should see it. We'll laugh."

"I've already seen it," he mumbled distractedly, not looking from his phone.

"You're lying," I sang, knowing pretty well that there was no way he saw that movie.

"I'm not lying," he said, laughing as he put his phone back in his pocket. "It's awful. Trust me, even you wouldn't stand it."

"Why would you even see that?" I asked, laughing along with him. "Was that a dare or something?"

"No, my girlfriend wanted to see it."

With that sentence, it was like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water all over me. One second my whole body was freezing as if I was outside on a snowy day, and then a second later a strange warmth was surrounding me, striking my chest, stabbing it. I was in pain.

A girlfriend.

Taking a deep breath, I steadily walked to the other side of the large hall and stood in front of some posters, making a show of reading one so that he couldn't see the tears that were spilling from my eyes. I was on the verge of breaking down and I couldn't even do it now. It would be so stupid if I just left him there to run home. I was also angry at him. Seven years, I loved him, and he still didn't even see me.

I heard him approach to me and wiped my cheeks. Even if I was dying inside, I would not let him see me cry.

"Okay, we can go see another movie. You choose," I managed to say in a weird breathy, whiny voice and I wanted to sob when I saw he was still not paying attention to me. I also wanted to rip that stupid phone from his hands and toss it on the floor.

"Let's go get tickets," he said, not having even the slightest idea about the state I was in. It never hurt me this much to see him that oblivious towards my feelings. I never wanted to shout at him that I loved him so much either.

I finally managed to look at his face as we were waiting to buy our tickets. He had an amused look on his face as he checked his phone and I finally snapped.

"Who's she?" I asked, not minding that nearly barked the question. "What's her name? When did you meet?" I was dreading the answers but I also wanted to know.

"Her name is Kate. I've known her for a couple of months, but it's been only a week since we started dating. Seven days," he said, smiling from ear to ear and looking genuinely happy.

It never hurt that much to fake a smile, and believe me, I was used to fake smiles.

Seven years. It had been seven years since I saw him in that hallway and fell for him. Seven long years that passed with longing, hurt, hope…

Hope. I was stupid to hope. It didn't matter to him that I loved him. It didn't matter to him that I made a fool out of myself all those years to catch a glimpse of him. He was already smiling over some girl he had only dated for seven days. My last hope vanished.

I had nothing to hold onto anymore.

* * *

><p>Hello!<p>

I want to thank to my amazing beta **adt216** for fixing this chapter!

I'm really excited about this. Please let me know what you think:)

Thank you for reading!

Have a great weekend!

E.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter One**

**September, 2004**

I could easily say that I could be considered weird when compared to other teenagers. I didn't throw fits or cause my parents to worry by displaying random acts of rebellion. I was a pretty normal girl who loved her life and was perfectly happy. Until junior year of high school.

To some people, high school could be a drama filled phase that they hated passionately for the rest of their lives, but not for me. I was not the prettiest nor the most popular in the school, but I blended in well with others. I had friends whom I actually liked, and since I had no siblings, I embraced them with all I had. My grades were really good, and I saw a promising future ahead of me. Ever since my mother taught me how to read, I had a fascination with reading, and my passion for it made it easy for me to decide to study English literature in college. Some of my friends kept telling me it was a little early to decide, but I paid them no mind. Determination and responsibility would take me to college, not waiting for the last minute to decide.

I was the only daughter of Charlie and Renee Swan who were the greatest and coolest parents on earth. I was lucky. I could have easily been the only seventeen year old who didn't argue with her parents. The fact that I was not a dramatic person and believed that communication was the key to everything was the reason for our peaceful family life and the lack of teenage angst in our house. I guess I could say my parents were lucky too.

After spending the first ten years of my life travelling around the country and moving constantly because of my mother's adventurous nature, I was happy to finally live in some place permanently. It had been seven years since we moved to Port Angeles and I loved the city even if the weather didn't seem to love its residents.

It was one of those rainy days when I woke up for the first day of my junior year in high school. To say that I was super excited would be an understatement. I said I was weird. Since all of my friends left town to see sunny places during summer,I was anxious to see my friends. This year my parents chose to stay at home much to my chagrin, but I didn't say anything. Our budget could be tight sometimes. Anyway, I was dying to hear my friends' summer stories and I had my own to tell. In my excitement and haste, I skipped downstairs in my pajamas.

"Someone looks chipper this morning," my dad laughed, as I poured myself some juice, throwing him a cheeky smile.

"Is Rose picking you up? I can drive you if she isn't," Mom said, putting a plate of pancakes in front of me. Yes, and I was one of those rare seventeen year olds who didn't mind that their mother was driving them to school.

"She's going to be here in thirty minutes, thanks," I said, in between taking huge bites. Rose hated when I made her wait and I didn't want to piss her off on the first day of school.

Within twenty five minutes, I was dressed and waiting on the front porch for Rose to arrive. After begging and pleading for months, she finally got her first car, a birthday present from her father whom she only saw during the summers. She kept telling me that her parents' divorce didn't affect her in the least since she was a baby when it happened, but I could see the lack of her father's interest bothered her. She didn't have a close relationship with her mother either. Mrs. Hale had an extremely busy work schedule, keeping her out of home most of the time.

My jaw dropped open as a sleek, red car stopped in front of me and Rose peeked from the driver's side window with a bright smile on her face. She was a really beautiful girl with curly blonde hair and hazel eyes, and summer seemed to agree with her. She looked amazing.

"Wow, I can't decide which one of you looks better, you or the car," I joked as I slid into passenger seat. I didn't know much about cars, but hers looked awesome and really expensive.

"It's pretty, isn't it?" she said while giving me a tight hug, but she didn't sound impressed at all. "He worked all summer, left me with his wife and son, and this was a thank you for not bothering me gift." She was laughing, but it was obvious from her eyes that her vacation didn't go as she wanted. Unfortunately, I didn't find it surprising. I was just furious that he kept inviting Rose when he didn't even spend time with her.

"Why the hell do he keep inviting you if he doesn't even have time for you?" I asked boldy, knowing that Rose wouldn't mind my brutal honesty.

"I don't know. He must be feeling obligated or something," she sighed. "Maybe it's Mom's doing. Who knows? Maybe she is begging him to invite me every summer so that she can have some time off."

I huffed loudly and made a show of rolling my eyes. I hated when she talked like that. Yeah, she had shitty parents, but she was an amazing person. "I'm sure that's not the case," I said as she started the car.

"You know what, I'm not going next summer. I'm going to stay in Port Angeles with you," she declared, glancing at me and I smiled. Deep down inside, I knew she would go. Despite her nonchalant behaviour, she craved to have a normal relationship with her parents, and it hurt to watch her be ignored.

Ten minutes later, we were in school parking lot, and I was in awe of Rose's driving skills. She parked her car expertly next to a van and turned to smile smugly at me.

"Okay, you're good," I laughed and she gave me a cheeky grin.

"I can't believe we have to go to class right now," she moaned. She didn't think like me when it came to school. She hated it.

"Come on," I urged her, opening the door and getting out. I was excited.

Rose kept rolling her eyes and throwing amused glances at me as we walked inside the school. It was a shock and something for her to mock that I actually liked school and schoolwork.

"Here he comes," Rose sang as Jacob walked daintily towards us in the hall. His long black hair was tied in a ponytail neater than mine, and he was wearing a bright yellow hoodie. I had a feeling that this year he was finally going to come out of the closet and relax a little bit. He was always so guarded and sometimes shy. The only person who could open him up a little was Rose since they shared the same sense of humour, and I became friends with him along the way. He was a nice guy.

"Hi, girls!" he shrieked as he engulfed us in a bear hug. One could never imagine how strong he was by looking at his skinny appearance.

"Hi, Jake. I missed you. I like this color on you," Rose shrieked back, playing with the zipper of Jake's hoodie.

"I missed you girls too. Thank you," Jake said, blushing slightly and I had to bite my lip to stop my laughter at his blush. It was the first time I had seen him since June. He spent his summer with his sister in California. I didn't want to offend him the first time we saw each other.

We got some coffee and chatted until the bell rang, signalling the start of the first period. I could barely contain my excitement as I skipped to the class, much to Rose's annoyance.

By the time lunch rolled around, I was a little sleepy but feeling accomplished and responsible. Despite it being the first day, it was still busy, and I loved the rush of a school day. It was a hundred times better than sitting lazily during summer. That was why I wanted to be a teacher.

I found Rose waiting for me in front of my locker and watched as her face tightened when Tanya appeared next to her. Along with Rose and Jacob, Tanya was among my best friends. However, Jacob and Rose stayed away from her, claiming that she was fake and whiny, and no matter what I did, they never warmed up to her. Tanya didn't help it either. It was obvious that she liked them as much as they liked her. After a while I got used to the nonsense and now I didn't even flinch when they glared at each other. It was a typical occurrence.

"Bella," Tanya yelled excitedly when I stopped beside them, and Rose made a show of rolling her eyes. I gave her a warning look and she shrugged.

"Sweetie, I missed you." Tanya jumped on me. She was literally the most excitable person one could ever meet, also the most beautiful. Seriously, she was amazingly, breathtakingly beautiful with her strawberry blonde hair and big blue eyes. She was a Barbie doll in human form.

"I missed you too, Tanya," I said, really meaning it.

"Come sit with us at lunch today," she said, giving Rose the stink eye at the same time. I sighed, half waiting for them to start shouting at each other. It had happened before.

"Why don't we sit all together?" I moaned, ignoring the complaining. This time I won.

So that was how I found myself in an extremely awkward situation at lunch. Rose and Jake kept staring at Tanya and her friends and giggling while Tanya's friends, Irina and Carmen, looked extremely pissed off. Tanya was oblivious to the situation, flirting with Tyler, and Edward was his usual arrogant self, playing with his expensive phone and not bothering to pay attention to the conversation. Not that there was any conversation going on.

"I hope you learned your lesson," Rose hissed as we walked to our class. "It gets extremely uncomfortable when I'm near that girl."

"I wonder why," I deadpanned. "You and Jake seemed to have a good time." I knew how cruel Rose and Jake could be when mocking people.

"She and her friends are like the dumbest people ever," Rose said in a whiny, annoying voice, which she claimed was her impersonation of Tanya. Well, I couldn't deny that Tanya had a shrill voice, but she was sweet.

"Okay," I sighed, kissing Rose's cheek and ending the conversation. "I'm going to be late to class. See you later."

My next class was English, and I loved it. It was my favorite. I thought nothing could dampen my mood until I saw Edward Cullen sitting in the front row. The front row was mine, and I didn't like to share. I had nothing against Cullen, but he kind of irritated me sometimes. I knew it was stupid of me to harbor irritation for a boy who didn't even say a total of two words to me in the two years I knew him, but sometimes he managed to irk me. I couldn't tell him to get the hell out of my seat.

I had to share a table with him in biology lab during my freshman year, and it was a total disaster. For reasons unknown to me, the girls found him attractive, and our table was always surrounded by stupid girls who asked him for a spare pencil or the answer of the question they couldn't solve. It was frustrating to no end. I could only hope that this wouldn't be the case this time because no matter what I was going to sit in the front row.

He turned to look at me as I slid in next to him and he gave me a big smile as if we were best buddies. I grimaced in return and turned to pull out my notebook from my bag. When I turned to him, he was still staring at me.

"Hi," I said, trying to be polite even if he was starting to creep me out. I was always polite.

"Hi, Bella," he replied, turning towards me on his stool and smiling wider.

He continued to look at me as I forced my brain to say something to him. Since we never were on friendly terms, it was extremely awkward and difficult to find a thing to say.

"So, how was summer?" I asked lamely and wondered if he was making fun of me when he smiled even wider. There was this thing about him that you could never understand if he was sincere or not when he smiled and talked to someone. It always looked like he was making fun of them, at least to me. His other friends didn't seem to mind.

"It was great. I went to Chicago to see my cousins," he replied eagerly as I nodded, trying to look interested.

The rest of the class went without a hitch, and I actually kind of enjoyed Edward's company. A little bit. Thank God, none of the girls who were in Edward's fan club were taking English with us so the class went smoothly and this caused me to look at him differently. When he was surrounded with girls, his cocky attitude surfaced and I hated it, and at the few lunches I ate with his friends, he seemed really far away from everyone. Now, though, he seemed like a nice guy and we chatted a little bit when our teacher released the class twenty minutes early. Summer definitely did him good. Not that he had done anything bad to me in the last two years apart from being an attractive, smug boy.

Well, I also noticed that he was actually a pretty handsome guy. His reddish brown hair was longer than usual and the acne he had had on his face was nonexistent which was a bonus. I also realized for the first time that his big, green eyes were almond shaped and very pretty. It was weird that I didn't notice them up until now. By the time the English class ended, I was feeling a little nervous and giddy, and I stupidly thought that was because I gained a new friend.

I would never be able to understand what happened to me the following morning even if I lived a thousand years. Now, I was a practical girl who didn't exactly believe in love and its power and shit. I actually found it kind of hilarious when one of my friends declared they were in love and then forgot those so called loves of their lives pretty quickly. I was pretty biased when it came to this love business. That was exactly why the next morning was the marking of a different era for me.

Rose and I were one of the first people who were in the parking lot that morning, eager to start the day. At least, I was. When Rose spotted Jake's car, she rushed to him and they started going on and on and cackling about something I didn't want to know

"I'm going inside to get coffee," I told them and walked inside knowing that they were nowhere near done with their morning gossip.

The dimly lit and empty corridors looked like something out of a horror movie as I walked towards the cafeteria. I heard footsteps behind me and thought Jake or Rose were coming with me.

"Good morning, Bella," Edward Cullen's voice sounded, and I turned around to look at him.

He was standing in front of a window and smiling to me as morning light hit his face, making him look like he was glowing. My body acted as if it was waiting for that moment to come alive. As if my dormant emotions were waiting for this weird scene. I felt a nervous, tingly energy coarsing through my body when I smiled back at him. I felt my stomach tighten in response to his smile, and when he took a step towards me, my heart did a tiny leap in my chest. I had prided myself on thinking that I was not a cheesy person, but that second I thought that he looked like an angel. I couldn't find it inside me to be embarrassed that I was thinking like that.

I managed to mumble a reply to him as I felt my cheeks get hot and then rudely turned back to walk to the cafeteria. I felt mortified. I just got flustered in front of Edward. That was not me. I didn't have the faintest idea what just happened. I never felt like that towards anyone before. I just wanted to… I didn't know what I wanted or what to do to make these feelings go away. There was nothing I could do anyway. It would just go away. It was a strange morning, and everything would be normal before long.

I heard him walking in the other direction and I breathed in relief. I didn't even mind that he probably thought I was the rudest person ever. My mind was scattered, and I was still feeling funny. That tingly, stomach tightening feeling.

The following days were strange to say the least. I found myself thinking about Edward in the most bizarre situations, for example washing my dad's car with him or playing with my Grandma Swan's pet budgie. Not only did he managed to invade my every waking thought, I started to dream about him too. My every thought was filled with him and soon I started staring at him at lunch and in English. Oh, English class was awkward enough to make me cringe for the rest of my life and I couldn't even bring myself to care. I knew I was acting like a fool, and I tried to rein myself in more than once and act nonchalant around him. Just one smile from him and all of my efforts to act nonchalant went out of the window. I started thinking that maybe I liked Edward Cullen. Well, not maybe. I liked him.

Three weeks into the school year and I was slowly going crazy about him. I didn't tell this to anyone since I could barely accept it myself. I was going to tell Rose and Jake soon though. They would help me, and I needed all the help I could get in this situation. It was already more than confusing for me. Was it possible to suddenly start feeling something for him after knowing him for two years? Wasn't it weird?

At the end of our third week at school, everyone was excited about the party that was going to be at Tyler's house. I was invited, but I had no intentions of going. I hated those stupid parties much to Tanya's chagrin, who constantly tried to make me go with her. Rose and Jake were like me on this. They didn't like those parties, and we decided to have a sleepover at Rose's that night.

After successfully dodging Tanya's attempts to make me cave and say yes, I was walking towards Rose's car, feeling really tired and emotional. It was all I could feel nowadays. Tired and sentimental. It was like suddenly I remembered I was a girl. I was a mess. I was going to tell Jake and Rose about this stupid crush tonight. I needed them to knock some sense into me.

"You're coming tonight?" Edward appeared next to me out of nowhere and my heart leapt in my chest.

"No," I managed to mumble as that awkward fuzzy feeling diminished enough to let me talk. I didn't want him to think I was a freak who couldn't even talk around him. Even if that was somewhat the truth.

"Why? You don't like Tyler?" he asked, sounding really curious. For a second I entertained the thought of going just to see Edward, but I discarded that thought easily. Rose and Jake wouldn't be there, and I needed them to make me stay away from him. Who knew what would I do? I would probably make a fool out of myself watching him all night long.

"He's fine. I just don't-" I started to talk, but that jerk, James, talked, effectively making me stop.

"Edward, I didn't know you were into fat chicks!"

I wasn't fat.

Well, maybe, I was a little on the plump side, but I was certainly not fat! I was aware that I didn't look like Rose or Tanya, but it never bothered me before. I was healthy, and I knew one day I would lose some of the weight. Before James, no one had made fun of me for that. Maybe, I should have listened to my mom and gone to that dietician this summer.

I was not going to let a jerk bring me down. It didn't matter what he thought.

What if Edward thought I was fat? Even the thought of that made me freeze in horror.

I wanted to smack James so badly.

"James, don't be an ass," Edward groaned back as my cheeks flamed with embarrassment.

There was an awkward silence between us until Edward cleared his throat. "Look-" he started, but I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to see his expression. I feared it.

Suddenly, every insecurity I had pushed aside came back to me with full force. I knew there was no way he would like me back. I had to get away from him while I still had some of my dignity. Bursting into tears in front of him was the last thing I wanted.

"Nevermind," I sighed, and cringed when I sounded whiny. "Anyway, I have to go now. See you on Monday." With that I gave him the brightest and fakest smile I could muster and ran towards Rose's car, barely keeping myself from crying.

Rose and Jake didn't say a thing as Rose drove us to her house, but they kept throwing me worried glances. Rose's mother was out of the town for a meeting and we had the whole house to ourselves for the weekend. What a weekend it was going to be with the mood I was in. The second we stepped into Rose's room, she turned on her heels and cornered me, her eyes looking at me knowingly.

"You like Cullen," she said, pointing to my chest as Jake giggled.

"I personally can't understand his appeal at all," he said lightly, throwing himself onto Rose's bed. "His hair looks like hay stack, like there are sheep in there, and there are always circles under his eyes."

I looked at Jake with empty eyes as Rose cracked up. I could never understand their sense of humour. I tried to walk to the couch, but she abruptly turned back to me.

"Where do you think you're going? Spill it," she said, tapping her finger to my chest.

"Yeah, I think I kind of like him," I mumbled and burst into tears. There was silence for a few seconds before Rose embraced me and Jake started talking loudly.

"I can't believe you. I could never-"

"Jake, shut up," Rose warned as she pulled me to her couch.

"Can you tell us how that happened?" she asked sofly as she handed me a tissue.

"It's so embarrassing," I sobbed. "I can't believe myself. Jake is right. One minute he was nobody special, and the next I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I don't know how it happened. Why now? We've known him for two years."

"It kind of always happens like this, Bella. It just takes one moment," Jake said, sitting down next to me as Rose threw a meaningful glance at him. I was not in the mood to decipher their silent conversation.

"It's not embarrassing. Stop beating yourself. Also, for the record, Cullen looks good this year," Rose said, causing me to giggle despite myself. I told them everything about how I felt these past couple of weeks, and they listened without interfering.

"How did you know I like him? Am I that obvious?" I asked, already knowing the answer. I didn't even cringe when she said yes.

"You keep staring at him when you think nobody's looking at you. You get all flushed and wide eyed while he's around you. It's kind of impossible to miss," Rose explained and I groaned in mortification.

"I have to stop acting like a fool," I sighed. "I will only humiliate myself. He will never like me anyway."

"Why in the hell would he never like you? You're beautiful!" Jake yelled loudly and I had to smile. He always went on and on about how pretty I was. It was actually kind of flattering.

"You're sweet, Jake, but I know how I look. I'm not good looking or-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rose cut me off this time, and I told them what happened with James this afternoon.

"He's an asshole," Rose said determinedly after I was finished. "You have a few pounds extra, so what?"

"A few pounds?" I snorted, raising my eyebrow. She and I both knew that it was more than a few pounds.

"Yeah," she continued determinedly. "You're beautiful, and if Edward can't see it, it's his problem."

I was sure it was her duty to say stuff like that as my best friend, but it still felt good to hear. The more we chatted, the more I relaxed, and soon I was laughing at their weird jokes, starring Edward. I wouldn't do anything about Edward and somehow I was okay with it. I would stay silent, stay away from him. It was best for me. It was probably just some stupid crush that I would forget about in no time. I just needed to be calm, be myself, and stop acting like a crazy person. I had had crushes before, and now I couldn't even remember their faces. Yeah, it would be all right. It was simple.

I dreamed about Edward Cullen that night.

It was not that simple. Not at all.

* * *

><p>Hi, everyone!<p>

First, I want to thank to my awesome beta **adt216** for fixing this chapter:)

And I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed this story. I like how some of you can relate to this story. High school crushes can be embarrassing and this Bella is actually based on me when I was in high school. I knew the same guy for two years and then one day I suddenly started liking him. I am weird:) I have loved him for seven years and I could only recently come in terms with everything and let go. Oh, and he's one of my best friends now. Joy:) This story will be a little different from what I experienced though. They will have a happy ending.

I'm working on Ideal Husband's next chapter. My aunt passed away recently and I was not in the mood for writing. She always told me I was strong enough to do whatever I wanted to do in life. I will miss her.

Okay, that's it. Don't mind me. I talk a lot when I'm emotional.

I hope you like this chapter and this Bella:) Please let me know what you think.

Have a great Sunday!

E.


	3. Chapter 3

**Seven Years**

**September, 2005**

It was funny how everything could change in the matter of a year and you didn't even realize that everything had changed until it was too late. It took me falling in love and humiliating myself to realize that harsh truth. Whether I wanted or not, I was a different person. I wasn't sure if I liked the new me.

All through last year, I was a mess, but I was in control. I smiled, hung out with my friends, spent time with my parents. I managed to act normal despite the storm raging inside me. I managed to act normal even though I felt like all of the things I loved about myself slipped through my hands as I went crazier and crazier about a boy each day. Days, months passed in a blur of watching him, talking about him, thinking about him, dreaming about him and crying after him. I wondered how Rose and Jake could handle me with my whining all the time. It just showed that they were amazing friends.

Summer vacation was a perfect opportunity for me to try to find the old me, even if a little bit. I needed that normal in my senior year in high school. Eveyone kept saying that the first love was always bittersweet but still an amazing experience. To me, it was pure torture. It did nothing but hurt me and make me feel depressed. I didn't want that in my last year in high school. I wanted it to end as perfectly as it started. I spent my holiday in Florida with my parents and it was amazing. I tried not to think about Edward and I was me. Somewhat. At least I was feeling less depressed and more hopeful about everything.

At the end of the summer, I swore to myself that my summer resolutions would stay with me. I would act responsible. I wouldn't waste another year tormenting myself. It wasn't Edward who was important; it was me.

All of my resolutions, decisions, pep talks went out of the window when I spotted him standing next to his new car in the parking lot on the first day of school. Just a crooked smile from him and my crazy heart decided that he was worth all the drama, ache and tears. My chest swelled with longing, love and joy. That weird, stomach twisting feeling came back to me full force. The fact that he managed to erase all of the summer just with a smile was an indication of how pathetic I was. I was such a fool for him that it wasn't even funny.

"Stop staring at him," Rose whispered fiercely into my ear as we walked to the cafeteria. "Jasper's looking at you."

I turned my head to look at Jasper and surely he was looking at me with questioning eyes. He glanced at Edward and then turned to look at me again.

"Damn," I muttered and made a beeline to the cafeteria, Rose following behind me. "Do you think he's noticed?" I whispered to Rose when she stepped beside me.

"I don't know. You have to stop looking at Edward though. By the way, have you invited him?" She already knew that I hadn't.

"No. Not yet." I couldn't even help how whiny I sounded.

"Bella, tomorrow is your birthday. You should invite him today if you want him at your party tomorrow night." As if she needed to remind me. It was all I could think about.

"I was thinking of asking Tanya to help me, but-" I trailed off when I saw Rose's face.

"Really?" She sounded frustrated. "No offense, but I think it was stupid of you to even tell her about your feelings in the first place and now you're asking her to invite Edward?"

"I'm not asking her to invite Edward. I thought it would be more convincing if she was with me when I ask since they're friends."

She continued to look at me with frustration evident in her eyes as I babbled to make her understand me. I knew she thought I was exaggerating, but I really wanted Edward to come to my party. I hated when Rose judged me.

"You should be the one who invites him. Alone. It's your birthday."

It was easier said than done. I just didn't know how the hell I would be able to stand in front of him, look into his eyes and invite him. I would probably say something stupid. Rose must have seen the pure helplessness in my face because her face softened and she linked her arm with mine.

"Stop pouting. Let's go tell him together. I will cover your ass if you get lovesick eyes again," she suggested as we entered the crowded cafeteria.

"I can kiss you right now. I love you," I sang but then I saw Edward sitting with Tyler and I had to stop. "Tyler's with him. It would be rude if I don't invite him too."

Rose gave me the stink eye as I tried to suppress my grin.

"Come on, this is your last chance. I'll just have to ignore Tyler," she said and all but dragged me to their table. I guess she was more fed up with me and my drama than I realized. She didn't even flinch when Tyler winked at her.

Just as we approached their table, Tanya appeared out of nowhere and sat down next to Edward, kissing his cheek. They were a little too close for my taste this year. I tried not to let it bother me, but so far I was failing at it. Her bizarre attitude towards me didn't help either. Something was going on with her.

"Hey, Bella. Rose," Tyler greeted us and I felt Rose stiffen beside me. Tyler asked her out just a few days ago. She said no, but he was insistent. It was funny and I had a feeling this was the reason for Tanya's bitchy mood. She had always been close to Tyler.I was determined to keep my mouth shut until she told me what her problem was though. I didn't want to make assumptions. Since it wasn't wise to piss Rose off while she was helping me, I did my best not to laugh as Tyler grinned at Rose.

"Hey, Tyler," I said, trying my hardest not to look at Edward. Not yet. I had to be coherent to invite them. Then, I could look at him. "Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm going to have a party at my house," I said like a parrot and took a deep breath. "Umm, you guys wanna come?"

Rose let out a sigh while I blushed furiously. That had to be the lamest invitation ever. Without even thinking about it, I glanced at Edward and blushed more when I saw him smiling at me.

"Well, I don't have any plans. You?" Tyler asked, looking at Edward and he said no, causing my heart to skip a beat. Did that mean he was going to be there?

"We'll be there," Edward said as if he read my mind. A stupid smile appeared on my face and I nearly burst into tears of joy when he smiled once again. His smile was beautiful. There were no words to describe it.

"That went well," Rose said as we walked to our table. I sat with Rose a lot more this year because of Tanya's fits.

"Are you kidding me? He said he'll come," I whisper yelled and sat down next to Jessica, who was busy watching Mike like a hawk. She was worse than me and I loved her for that.

"Thank you, Rose," I said as I grabbed a fry from Jacob's tray. I told Jessica and Jake about our spontaneous invitation and they cheered for me. I was sure I had been causing them stres with the amount of whining I had done over this party.

"So, he's coming?" Jess asked excitedly, bouncing on her seat. Among my friends, she was the one who understood me best since she was in the same situation. She was head over heels in love with Mike. Jessica and I got close last year when I found her crying in a bathroom and ever since we've been great friends. She was never one to shy away from voicing her opinions and feelings, thus before long I found myself sharing my secrets with her. She was a great girl, though a little stubborn and crazy sometimes.

"I guess so," I mumbled, suddenly so many scenarios in my head. So many things could happen to make him not to come. So many things could go wrong. He could even forget about the party. I needed Tanya. "I don't know. I need to talk to Tanya," I whispered to Jess, afraid that Rose would hear. She heard me anyway.

"You're being an idiot by trusting her," she said while Jake nodded furiously beside her.

"She's flirting with Edward in front of you everyday," Jake added as my face fell.

I couldn't deny that what he said was true. When I told her about my feelings for Edward, she was incredibly upset that I didn't tell her for nearly a year. She thought I didn't trust her. Then she started acting like she didn't even care and we were closer than ever. The problem was that she was closer than ever with Edward too. First, I stupidly thought she was doing it for me. Since I never had the courage to talk to Edward or get close to him, we weren't exactly friends. I thought Tanya would help me with that, but so far she just kept moping around and flirting with Edward. No matter how many times I hinted at her or just told her that she hurt me when she hugged Edward or kissed his cheek in front of me everyday, she just continued to do it. It was frustrating.

"She says they're great friends and that's all," I mumbled dejectedly. She was pretty straight about it actually. She claimed that they were friends and she only saw Edward as a friend. That didn't mean I didn't cringe everytime I saw her hanging off his arm. Rose kept telling me to tell her to stay the hell away from Edward, but I couldn't do that. I was nothing to him. I didn't have a claim on him. I just hoped that Tanya would see how her behaviour was affecting me and our friendship.

"She's a bitch and that's all," Rose countered as Jake and Jess snickered. "Just don't talk to her about this. Edward already said he would come."

I did the exact opposite. A few hours later I found myself standing by the bleachers by a frustrated looking Tanya.

"I can't order him to come. He'll come if he wants to," she said harshly, looking everywhere but me. "Look, take a few steps back, will you? You look pathetic, watching his every move and looking at him with lovesick eyes. Don't you think he doesn't notice? It's written all over your face. I'm sorry, Bella, but you're on your own in this."

I was frozen on my spot for a second. I expected her to rant and get pissed, but I never expected those words.

"I just thought…You're good friends with him. Maybe he would…" I babbled, not even knowing why I was bothering to explain myself to her. Why was I bothering to make her understand while she thought those horrible things about me?

"You thought wrong," Tanya hissed and left, leaving me gaping after her.

I wasn't sure why she said those things, but I was sure we would never be the same. I was always patient towards her. There were times when I wanted to shake her, but I always managed to see the good in her. I ignored my other friends' opinions about her. hell, I sometimes argued with them because of her. Now, after all this time, I started to wonder if I had fooled myself about her. Maybe, she was just as Rose thought she was.

"You just prefer to see the good in people, Bella, but, come on!" Rose chided me when I told her about my talk with Tanya and how she wasn't acting like herself. "She acts like a total asshole and you still try to find a reason behind it. She's just a bitch. Accept it already."

"I don't know." My voice was weak. I didn't want to make assumptions about Tanya when I was hurt, annoyed and biased.

I didn't have much time to think about Tanya because the next day was my birthday and I was so excited. Even the mere thought of having Edward at my party was enough to make me jump around. I wasn't a stranger to birthday parties. I had inherited my mom's festive mood and between her and me, birthdays were always a big deal in our house. This year was extra special for me. It could be the perfect opportunity to get to know Edward a little better. His presence was going to be my biggest present.

I drove Mom crazy the day of my birthday. I didn't let her step a foot out of the house until everything was double checked and perfect. The smell of her homemade pizza permeated the house, tempting me to eat a slice before people started arriving. I was on a diet which didn't go as I wanted it to and I was constantly hungry. Thankfully, Rose, Jake and Jess arrived just when I was about to give into the temptation.

"Bella, you look amazing," Rose said, looking at me from head to toe.

"It's a birthday present from Mom," I said, tugging on my sweater to cover my butt. The jeans I was wearing were a little tight for me. I knew I shouldn't have listened to Mom when she insisted I buy this pair. "I think it would look better if I didn't have this huge butt."

"Shut up," Rose said as she tugged me towards the staircase. "You look great. Now, let's go make you look greater. I brought my make up bag."

Ten minutes later, we were in my room and Rose was doing my make up. Jess was putting some mascara on Jake's already long lashes and I was shaking with giggles, much to Rose's annoyance.

"Bella, stop moving if you don't want me to poke you in the eye. I'm sure you'd look pretty to Edward with a red, swollen eye."

That immediately made me sit still.

It turned out to be unnecessary that I put so much effort into getting ready since the only people who showed up were Angela, Ben and Mike. Edward didn't come. Tanya didn't come, either. I wasn't sure whose absence hurt me more. There wasn't a single second in my life that I felt as disappointed and worthless as I felt that evening.

Rose was the only reason I didn't break down in front of everyone. While all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and cry, she didn't let me crumble. She and Jess came up with the silliest ideas and I had fun despite everything.

"I hate Edward for making me feel like this," I sighed at the end of the night. Rose and Jess were the last ones to stay to help me clean up so that my mom wouldn't freak out. "Don't get me wrong. I had fun tonight. You're great friends. It's just… I was dying for him to come here and he just probably forgot about it. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"Have you ever thought about telling him how you feel?" Jess asked, jumping and sitting on a counter.

"Are you crazy?" I snorted. "I'm not going to humiliate myself anymore. He would never feel the same."

"You're being crazy," Jess scoffed. "You're a very, very beautiful girl and I'm not just saying this. Don't let a couple of pounds make you feel less than beautiful."

Rose nodded as I teared up. I didn't want to cry, but it seemed like I had no control over my tears. Yeah, I guess I had a pretty face. I could say that. However, it didn't matter that you had big brown eyes and a button nose if you were fat. Boys didn't see past your figure. I could be beautiful, intelligent and fun, hell, I could even be Edward's soulmate, but it wasn't enough to make someone, him, like me when appearance was the most important thing.

"Are you ever going to tell Mike?" I asked Jess, trying to change the topic. I was already feeling down and that was enough for tonight. Also I really wondered what she was going to do. I caught her watching Mike more than once tonight.

"You know what? I think I will. There's nothing to lose," Jess mused, looking really hopeful. Well, at least she was braver than me.

The following day at school was awkward to put it mildly. Rose and Jess talked me into giving Tanya the cold shoulder and being nonchalant towards Edward, if he cared enough to talk to me anyway. So, I totally ignored Tanya when I saw her in the morning. It became harder as the day progressed since she kept popping up everywhere. She tried to talk to me during first period, but I wasn't in the mood for hearing her fake excuses. Why would I even listen to what she had to say anyway? She didn't even care enough to show up to my party. It was all that mattered. Remembering her last birthday when I helped her bake a cake upset me even more. All those times, I thought she was one of my best friends. Now, I wasn't so sure.

Then there was Edward. I wasn't stupid enough to think that he would beg and plead for forgiveness. I knew I wasn't important to him. Probably something more fun came up last night, and he didn't even remember he told me he would come. However, I was stupid enough to get excited when he smiled and nodded towards me in the parking lot. He just smiled lazily as if nothing happened. I wanted to hit him. So bad. I wanted to kiss him more. I was such an idiot. Could he even fathom how much I wanted him to be there? How much I prayed that he would show up and say a few words to me? How important he was to me? How hurt I was when I finally came to terms with the fact of him not coming?

"Bella, hey," I heard Tanya call as I walked to my locker. Ignoring her, I quickened my steps. I didn't know what to say or think when it came to her.

"Look, I'm so sorry," she sighed when she reached me. "I'm a terrible friend and you should hate me." She looked at me with her wide, blue eyes, waiting for me to say something. Probably, to tell her it wasn't important because I always did that. She did something to hurt me and I forgave her. Everytime. Not this time though.

"Can I explain?" she asked when I stayed silent.

"Explain what?" I cringed at how loud my voice was. She took a step back, not used to seeing me this angry.

"I… Look, I should have told you this earlier, but I thought it would be awkward."

"What the hell are you talking about? Get straight to the point."

"I have a thing with Tyler," she said dramatically and looked at me, probably waiting for me to be shocked. I wasn't. I saw how she acted when Tyler asked Rose out. "He asked me out yesterday and I couldn't say no."

I laughed. I couldn't stop myself. That excuse was soTanya. She and her boyfriends. I was fed up with listening to the same shit.

"Wow, congrats," I said sarcastically.

"Come on, Bella. Don't be like this. I said I'm sorry," she sighed. "I've liked Tyler for a really long time. Do you know how I felt when he asked Rose out? I couldn't let this chance go by."

"You could have had your date another day," I hissed. "Anyway, it doesn't really matter. Last night just helped me see some things clearly. I thought we were best friends."

She made an attempt to say something, but I was already walking away. It felt so good to say the things I felt instead of bottling them up inside me. I realized that I could no longer ignore her quirks. It was like all of the things I ignored about her were screaming at me right now. How whiny she sounded, how she demanded I forgive her, how her eyes bugged out when she was frustrated. God, she was annoying today. I didn't feel guilty that I felt these things. I was always a good friend to her, but she did nothing for me. I begged her to help me get Edward to my party and in return she just insulted me. Even that spoke volumes about our friendship.

Being cold towards Edward was a lot harder than I thought since I had a tendency to not to use my brain when he was around. I was extremely nonchalant when Tyler shouted "happy birthday" across the cafeteria, and I was pleased with myself. However, when Edward came to stand next to me, I started trembling. My being cool was done.

"Hi, Bella. Can we talk for a second?" he asked, nodding at everyone at the table and then giving me a killer smile.

"Yes," I managed to breathe out. Rose gave me a glare as Jess shook her head. I knew I was easy. They knew I was about to crumble.

"Can I?" Edward asked and sat down next to me, not knowing he was causing me to have a panic attack with his mere presence. I could only avert my gaze from his face when Rose cleared her throat loudly.

"Okay," I said in a much more controlled voice and saw Rose nod from the corner of my eyes.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it yesterday. I know I said I'd come, but something personal came up."

He actually sounded sincere and something in me shifted. I felt warm all over. I just wanted to hug him and keep him with me forever. I simply didn't have it in me to act cold to him. Yeah, I still wanted to shake him and know what the hell he did last night instead of coming to my birthday, but I couldn't be bitter towards him in the end. His eyes, his voice, everything about him was enough to bring out a smile from me. He always made me smile. It was ironic he was the one who made me cry the most at the same time.

"That's okay," I said my voice cracking, not sounding like I meant it. It wasn't okay, but what would it change if I said how I felt.

"I just waited for a few hours for you to guys show up, feeling like a loser the whole time, but that's okay, right? You didn't have to come anyway. I mean it doesn't matter that you said you'd come. We aren't even friends or anything."

I was shocked at the words that left my mouth. I had every intention of keeping them to myself, but when I started talking, they just came out. I wanted to cry. I was about to cry.

"No, Bella, we…" he mumbled, looking lost.

Thankfully, Rose was able to see that I was barely holding it together and she cut in, giving me a minute to calm down. Sniffing rather loudly, I took a sip from my water. I was sure I looked like a drama queen right now.

"It's all right,Cullen," Rose huffed as Edward shifted beside me, probably wanting to run away from my crazy ass. He almost seemed hesitant towards Rose. "That Tanya girl didn't show up, either. That was unexpected and hurt Bella. Excuse her bitterness."

With Rose's words, Edward turned to look at Tanya and Tyler for a split second, and when he turned back to us, he looked like he was getting almost looked angry. Like he knew something. Why would he feel angry? Did something happen between them? I hoped I was reading more into this and there was nothing going on.

"Oh, okay," Edward mumbled and abruptly stood up, nearly knocking his chair over. "Happy birthday, Bella." He seemed anxious to leave and with a curt nod, he left, nearly running. I was even more suspicious when he skipped sitting with Tanya and Tyler.

"I'm almost sure there's something going on with those three and I know you're thinking the same thing." I heard Rose say as I watched Edward sit down next to Jasper and his friends.

I didn't learn what was going on with them. Actually, I didn't even try to learn. I was too afraid of the answers I might find out if I dug a little. A week later, Tanya and Tyler were officially together and Tanya was after me.

I stayed away from her as much as I could, but she was persistent. Knowing that something went on on my birthday relating to Edward was enough to make me sick to my stomach with jealousy. Some theories were dancing around in my head and each was making me more scared and jealous than other. There was also the fact that Tyler and Edward weren't speaking to each other anymore. There was a nagging voice in my head that kept saying that all of this was because of Tanya. Even thinking about the possibility of Edward liking Tanya was suffocating me.

All of these things didn't even matter a week later. Because Edward started dating Jane.

She was the exact opposite of me in every sense. Nearly as tall as Edward, blonde with blue eyes and a volleyball player. Yeah, she was athletic and popular. What was worse was that she was a nice girl and that made me hate her even more. Just seeing her holding his hand and walking around smiling at him made me want to choke her and rip her hair out.

The day I learned the news about Edward and Jane, I finally gave up and forgave Tanya. I was too weak to continue ignoring her. I needed my friends and she was there, pleading that she would never fail me again. I didn't matter what she did or didn't do anymore. Edward was with Jane and there was nothing I could do about it. Apart from crying in my room, listening to sad music and hating myself for feeling this way.

"Someday, you won't even remember his name," Rose said in a soothing voice as I bawled my eyes out. We were sprawled out on my bed as I tried to erase the image of him kissing Jane from my mind.

"She isn't even beautiful. I bet her hair is fake," Tanya said from the chair she was perched on. She was trying to get along with Rose to please me.

"No. She's pretty and her hair looks real," I whined as more tears leaked from my eyes. I was pathetic. Knowing that he would never kiss me or look at me like he looked at Jane was enough to keep the tears coming. I knew Rose was right that someday I might not remember him and that hurt me more than it relieved me. It was so unfair that I didn't even get one kiss from him, one smile, one look when I loved him like this.

I loved him, but I didn't have the guts to admit it to Rose or anybody for that matter. My friends would understand, but having them think that it was just a crush made me feel somewhat better. I didn't want them to know how far gone I was. How the impossibility of this love hurt me.

"You're more beautiful, so don't even start on that," Rose sighed, pulling my hair out of my eyes. "We're going to college this year, then you'll never see him. You'll meet awesome people, live a new life. He will just be a thing of your past."

She didn't have any idea how that reminder was the reason I cried even harder.

She didn't have any idea that I didn't want to forget Edward. I just wanted him. Was that too much?

She didn't have any idea how much I prayed to God to end up in the same city with Edward. I knew some of the schools we applied to were the same.

She didn't have any idea how much I was in love with Edward and how much I was hurting because of that.

For her sake, I nodded and tried to smile. A year from now on, I would be in a different city. There would be miles between Edward and me. I wouldn't see him, and it would be better for me.

I hoped it would be better for me.

* * *

><p>Hi!<p>

First, I really want to thank to my beta **adt216** for fixing this chapter and making me laugh.:)

Then, I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed this story. It means a lot to me...

I know some things don't make sense now, but they're going to be revealed later. I hope you enjoy it because I love writing this fic.

If you have any questions, please ask!:) I'm looking forward to hearing your opinions.

Have a great day!

E.


	4. Chapter 4

**Seven Years**

June, 2006

"Bella, you look amazing," Mom gushed as I twirled in front of the mirror, wearing my new emerald green prom dress.

"Thanks, Mom." I beamed at her. I was really happy and proud that I was able to fit into this dress after months of dieting and saving money.

I was sure prom was going to be a turning point for me. After many sleepless nights, endless conversations with Rose and Jess and shedding many tears in the process, I finally came to a decision that shocked everyone who knew me. I was going to invite Edward Cullen to prom. Yeah, I was really going to do that. It was my last year, my last chance. I was done with staring at him from far away. There was nothing to lose if he said no; however, I was actually rather hopeful that he would say yes considering the friendship that we maintained this year.

"Do you have anything in mind for your hair?" Mom asked, twisting my long hair on the top of my head. She was almost as excited as me about the whole thing. Well, she was happy and excited that I lost twenty pounds to fit into this dress, I knew that much.

"I don't know. We need to decide on something," I answered with haste, and Mom giggled. She loved seeing me all dressed up. The main topics of conversations between us centered around diet meals, high heels and prom dresses for the last couple of weeks, and it was obvious my girly mood delighted her to no end.

"Can I come in?" I heard Dad say from outside and ran to open the door.

"Wow! You look amazing, honey," he said, whistling when he saw me, and I twirled in front of him, ignoring Mom's snorting.

"Thank you, Dad!"

"I forgot to tell you. Tanya called this morning when you were out with your mom. Are you going out again tonight?"

"Yeah, we're going to the movies. It's not a problem, right? Edward will drive me home," I explained in a rush and watched as his face fell. Mom shook her head at Dad and he sighed in resignation, nodding. Their silent conversations were scary sometimes.

"Okay. I'm waiting downstairs. The table is all set. I'm starving, so hurry up," Dad grumbled and left.

No matter how much Mom tried to hide it from me, I was aware that Dad wasn't happy about me going out at night with my friends. He was biased against Edward and Tyler since they were members of the opposite gender and he never really liked Tanya. Mom kept him from voicing his opinions to my face thus far, and I was grateful for that. It wouldn't matter if he told me he was uncomfortable with it anyway. I wouldn't stop seeing Edward. These were the last few times I could see him, then he would be in Chicago while I would be in Seattle. I tried not to let it bother me, but it was always at the back of my mind, bugging me.

Even when I thought about it now, the whole thing still seemed like a miracle to me. It was a real miracle that I was friends with Edward. It was like God finally took pity on me and put him in my way in my last year to placate me for the impending separation. It all started when Edward had broken up with Jane in November and started to hang out with Tyler again. A few weeks after I spotted them in Edward's car together, I had gotten a phone call from Tanya, asking me if I wanted to go to dinner with them. My first thought was to ask her if she was crazy, but her annoying voice turned into music when she started to go on and on about how Tyler invited Edward along and how it would be nice for her if I was with her since she wasn't on friendly terms with Edward anymore. Of course, I had jumped at the chance.

After that dinner, which was awkward enough for me to remember for a lifetime, Edward and Tyler were inseparable, much to Tanya's dismay and my joy, since Tanya made a habit of inviting me wherever they went. It was uncomfortable, being close to Edward, listening to his smooth voice and seeing him laugh at stupid things with Tyler. There was this urge inside me to hug him or kiss him whenever he laughed, and I was sure I looked like a blushing idiot. It didn't help that I had a tendency to lose my voice, get all choked up and mumble incoherently whenever he said one word to me.

On a Wednesday, everything changed. I saw him sitting alone in the garden and mumbled a hello to him as I passed him by, only to see the book that sat beside him. _Harry Potter_. Now, I was a huge fan of the books, and seeing him with the first book of the series made me stop in my tracks. I just had to go and talk to him about it. I didn't know how I managed to do it, but I turned back and walked towards him.

"Is that yours?" I asked, tentatively, pointing to the book and my mouth dropped open when he nodded, smiling. It was his. How much more perfect could he be?

Five minutes later, I found myself sitting next to him on the grass while he excitedly talked about the books, asking me my favorite and telling me why he loved the third book best. I admitted him that I read the books at least three times and felt like less of a dork when he told me he just started today to read them for a second time to refresh his memory. We bonded over our love for the books and that made me love him and yearn for him more.

The first time we went to the movies together turned out to be the best day of my life. When it came to cinema, I had a passion and an incredibly eclectic taste. Edward was impressed with my knowledge and love for the movies, and that was when our tradition started: movie and milkshakes. I loved that tradition! Watching a movie together and then talking about it while drinking chocolate milkshakes. We even started to ditch Tanya and Tyler and went to see movies alone after a while and I was in heaven on those days.

The day, I found out he was a Gemini, I went to the nearest bookstore and bought everything I could find about his sign. I stayed awake until the early morning hours just to get to know him a little bit more. One of the books claimed that a Gemini and a Virgo didn't have the best chance to stay together romantically, and I threw it under my bed in frustration only to dive under the bed to find it a few hours later. I was really stupid when it came to him.

I even met his mom, Esme Cullen. It was one of those days that we ditched Tanya and Tyler and went to the movies. We were on the top floor of the mall, drinking our milkshakes and arguing about the movie, when a middle aged woman approached our table and stood behind Edward to ruffle his hair, grinning. Edward jumped a little on his chair and the woman started laughing, ignoring Edward's horrified expression.

"Mom! I told you not to do that," Edward moaned as he combed his fingers through his hair in an effort to make it settle down, and I had to laugh along with his mother.

Esme was a sweet woman who looked so much like Edward that it was shocking with her reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. She sat with us for a few minutes, told us about her shopping trip, and I found myself listening to every word she said in her soothing voice. She was so easy to like with her big smile and friendly nature.

Edward told me a little about his parents that day after his mother left. It was obvious he loved them both so much, but he had an ongoing problem with his mom about college since Esme didn't want him to go to Chicago when he had the means to study the same thing in Seattle, a city so much closer to them. I didn't tell him that I totally agreed with his mom as he seemed to be so excited about the prospect of studying architecture in Chicago and being in the same city with his cousins.

My friendship with Tanya improved too, but I couldn't manage to convince Rose and Jake to give Tanya a chance. Rose insisted that Tanya was untrustworthy and that I shouldn't trust her, not that I did. I still liked her enough to have fun when we hung out, but I knew the only reason she kept inviting me was because something went down between her and Edward that made her uneasy around him now. They barely said a word to each other, making me wonder why Tyler kept bringing Edward with him all the time when he could see that it made his girlfriend uncomfortable. I wasn't complaining though.

After Mom left my room, I changed into a pair of jeans and a shirt and went downstairs for dinner. I quit eating out once I started my diet and cutting all those greasy burgers and fries made a huge impact. Mom's insistence on getting a membership for the new gym in our neighbourhood also helped a lot. I was now 160 pounds and I needed to lose another twenty.

"Are you asking him tonight?" Mom asked excitedly as I sat down and Dad started coughing.

They found out about my crush a few weeks ago. It was impossible to hide it from them anymore after my dad saw the photos of Edward that I had secretly taken when he was playing basketball in the gym with his friends. It was terrifiying, trying to explain to my dad why I had a dozen photos of a some random guy in a pair of basketball shorts and a sweaty shirt tucked in my bag when it tumbled out of my hands, spilling the photos all over the kitchen floor. God, it was really, really mortifying.

"Yeah, maybe," I mumbled, feeling shy and pissed at the same time that my Edward crush was once again brought up by Mom in front of Dad. At least, I had a cool dad Jessica's father threw a fit when he learned she was dating Mike without telling them.

"Well, I can't wait to hear the good news," Mom chirped, earning a glare from Dad.

"Come on, Charlie. Lighten up! Edward's a great guy," Mom continued, patting Dad's cheek. "He might be your son-in-law someday."

"Mom!" I yelled in embarrassment as Dad visibly flinched.

"I think it's pretty early to talk about this kind of stuff, Renee," Dad grumbled as I covered my bright red cheeks with my hands.

"You can never know when it comes to love," Mom said, dreamily and I took it as my cue to leave the kitchen since this conversation had the potential of getting even more awkward thanks to Mom.

I heard my parents bickering and Mom's laughter as I hastily went to sit on the porch. Five minutes later, Edward's gray car appeared on the street and I jumped to my feet, feeling rather giddy and hopeful. Smoothing my hair down, I walked down the steps as the car door opened and Tanya got out.

"Hi! Did you get your dress? I got mine yesterday! The red one. Did you get shoes as well? Tell me," she babbled on and on as we got into the backseat of the car.

"Hi, Tyler. Edward," I said, punching Edward's shoulder playfully and he mumbled a greeting in return. That wasn't exactly the reaction I was hoping to get, but I didn't say anything. It was obvious from the scowl on his face that he was in a bad mood. I was itching to ask about it, but I knew it wasn't the time and the place to ask. I had to wait for the right time.

"Hi, Bella. How are you? Getting ready for prom?" Tyler asked in a weird tone, turning to look at me with an overly big grin and winked for some unknown reason. I looked at Tanya for a clue, but she was as clueless as me when it came to her boyfriend's behaviour sometimes. She just shrugged and started to pick at her nails. As much as I was grateful for Tyler's existence, I didn't actually like him.

"Yeah, I just got my dress today," I answered and looked at Edward, but he was busy watching the road.

The drive to the movie theatre was awfully silent apart from Tanya's chatter about her red dress. I thought the night wouldn't get any worse, but I was so wrong. The whole night was a nightmare for me. After spending months close to Edward, getting to know him and thinking that we were actually friends, his cold and distant attitude didn't make any sense to me.

When I gathered my courage and cornered him to ask about what happened to make him like this, he just brushed off my question and changed the topic. He didn't even say a word to me for the remainder of the night and after a while I gave up trying to find something to say. Seeing him so nonchalant and ignorant towards me was like a punch in the stomach. Thank God, I was able to hold it together when I was with them and broke down when I was in my room.

"I don't know what his problem is. I didn't do anything to deserve this. He was already off towards Tanya, but me? I just don't understand!" I whined to Mom as I wiped off my make up.

"I don't know, Bella, but I'm sure he'll apologize," Mom said sheepishly, not helping the least. She was a fan of Edward ever since he came to our house to study. "Those eyes, Bella, those eyes," she kept teasing me in the days following his visit.

The next few days were more or less the same, making me even more panicked and agitated. I was desperate to find out why he was acting like this, but so far I knew nothing. He barely looked my way let alone talk to me. The more he distanced himself from me, the more I crawled back into my shell. Those uneasy, painful feelings I had felt whenever I saw him before we were friends came back to me full force. It was as if all those months hadn't really happened. Even the thought of losing him after all this time was enough to make me frustrated to the point of tears, yet I couldn't deny that I was losing him. I just knew it wasn't the ending I deserved.

"Stop berating yourself over him. He's acting like a total ass. Come on," Rose snapped at me during lunch and I had to drag my eyes from Edward, who was sitting with Jasper and looking to be having fun. I turned to look at Rose and saw Jess giving me a sympathetic look.

"There must be a reason he's acting like this, Rose," I mumbled and continued to pick at my lunch.

Rose didn't say anything more since we had this conversation a hundred times before. The rest of the lunch passed with the talk of prom and dresses, but my mind was on Edward and why he was acting like this. Actually, I had a guess, but I didn't voice it to Rose and Jess for fear of hearing them confirm it. I just couldn't stop thinking that the only explanation for his current behaviour could be the result of him somehow learning about my feelings towards him. However, I had a feeling that this wasn't what Edward would do if he knew. He wouldn't be that cruel.

That night I did the stupidest thing I had ever done in my entire life. There was no other way to put it. Not talking to him and turning back to where we were at the beginning of the year was hard to process and I finally snapped in the worst way possible. I texted him. The first few texts were pathetic yet harmless. After my fifth text, he finally stopped the silent treatment and sent me a reply of four words, making me want to cry.

_I'm okay. Don't worry_.

With the stupid hope and excitement those simple four words gave me, my fingers worked with haste, writing the words that would make me cringe for the rest of my life as my heart beat fast ignoring my brain and common sense all together. I knew I would regret sending this I was able to think rationally, but my heart was in control now.

_I hope we're okay now because I'm not okay when you don't talk to me. You're important to me. I know it's a little stupid and weird that I'm asking like this, but I really wondered if you wanted to go to the prom with me. _

I hit the send button and closed my eyes tightly, trying to imagine his reaction when he opened the text. He probably wouldn't be surprised. Rose and Jess kept telling me that my feelings were written on my face and I looked at him with lovesick eyes. Would he laugh? Would he make fun of me? A strange sense of dread washed over me, making me feel breathless. Of course, he would laugh. I was sure it was the most pathetic and stupid text he ever recieved from a girl. I wanted to ask him face to face, probably easing my way into it, not like this, but it was impossible. Hell, I shouldn't even have asked him after the cold shoulder he kept giving me the last couple of days.

I stayed awake all night, waiting a reply from him, but I had none. As the night turned into day, I started to believe that he wouldn't reply. After spending the weekend glued to my phone, I was sure I wasn't going to hear from him. It wasn't shocking that he stayed silent given how he was acting towards me, but I was still hurt and heartbroken. Even a simple 'no' would have been better than waiting like a fool.

I spent the next couple of days sulking in my room and avoiding Edward at school at all costs which turned out to be really easy since he ran away from me too. Seeing him continue his life normally hurt me so much while I was suffering because of him that I even entertained the thought of not going to the prom, but Rose and Jess didn't leave me alone until they made me promise I wouldn't do such a thing.

I found Rose sitting on my bed in the morning of the prom day with a thick magazine in her hands. We spent the whole day getting ready together and I was able to leave the embarrassment of the text fiasco behind me even if it was for an afternoon. Dad drove us to the school and we met Jake, Jess and Mike there. I waited for this prom day to come with excitement for so long, but now, after everything, I wasn't in the mood to enjoy it. I hoped my friends would have fun despite me.

The start of the night was pretty nice actually. Edward was nowhere to be found and I was relaxed enough to enjoy myself a was sitting with Tyler and she only acknowledged me briefly when we bumped into each other on the dance floor when Jess dragged me to dance with her and Mike. She was a little bit distant in the last few days, but I was too worked up with the Edward situation to care. I had nothing against her, but if Edward's sour mood was related to him knowing about my feelings, then I was pretty sure that Tanya had something to do with it as well. I regretted so much that I told her.

The night turned positively horrible for me when Edward entered the gym with a beautiful blonde in his arm, laughing as I was dancing with Rose. Rose must have spotted them before me because she was already dragging me to our table when I saw them.

"Chin up, Bella. Don't let him ruin your night. He doesn't even care, coming here with some bitch in his arm!" Rose whispered fiercely, glaring at Edward as I tried to compose myself.

"I can't believe…" I managed to mumble as we sat down. I was shocked.

"Yeah, I can't believe it either. Asshole!"

Within five minutes, Rose relayed the news of Edward's arriving with an unknown blonde to our friends, and they were all raving about him, trying to cheer me up. Nothing was enough to lift my spirits, but I was grateful that they cared for me nonetheless. I refused to stand up from the table and spent the rest of the night sitting with Jake, who for some reason didn't want to dance, but would rather eat and make fun of the stuff people wore. It was good that he made me laugh, because I was afraid that I would cry at any moment.

As the night dragged on with me not even glancing Edward's way, my resolve was strengthened. Rose was right. He wasn't worth crying after. Of course, he was free to come to the prom with whomever he wanted, but it still felt like he was rubbing it in my face by coming with her like that when he didn't even care about me enough to send me a simple text message. My heavy heart still leaped in my chest when he was near, but this time not with excitement and hope. It hurt to see him. It hurt to love him. I promised myself then and there that I wouldn't let anyone hurt me like that again.

I never thought this would be the way I would part ways with him. We would be in different cities. I always knew that I wouldn't be able to see him, but I hoped to be in touch with him. All my hopes and dreams were shattered now though. It was the end. There would be no Edward in my life from now on. I had to accept it.

* * *

><p>Hi!<p>

First, I want to thank to my amazing beta **adt216** for fixing this chapter and helping me with this story!

I also want to thank everyone who read and reviewed this story. I know it has been so long since the last update and I'm sorry for that. This chapter and the next one are a little shorter than usual, and I'm going to post the next chapter next Sunday.

I know Bella is a little annoying at this point, but this is just for now. She is going to grow up and change her view of Edward. I'm just wondering what do you think about the story in general. I really like it and I want to learn about your opinions. What's interesting? What's boring? What's annoying? You can also ask me anything you like. I'm going to answer.

So, that's it for now. Thank you for reading!

Have a great Sunday!

E.


	5. Chapter 5

**Seven Years**

**August, 2006**

Putting the last few of my magazines and books in the box, I let out a sigh and looked around at my now almost empty room. I was feeling tired and emotional after packing up and getting ready for my move. What was worse, I didn't even have time to rest. My parents were rather insistent and enthusiastic about going to a goodbye dinner tonight, even inviting Jake's dad and Rose's mom to join us. Tonight was a big deal to them and I wasn't going to ruin it by sulking and moaning about how tired I was. I just hoped a few hours of sleep would be enough as I was going to Seattle at the crack of dawn tomorrow. I cringed when I thought of the unpacking and settling down waiting for me there. I hated suitcases. I hated cardboard boxes. I hated moving.

"How is it going?" Mom asked, peeking her head in my room and rolling her eyes at my crestfallen expression. I drove her crazy with the amount of whining I did in the last couple of days that I spent with packing up.

"I'm tired," I said, glaring at her. I would be close to home in Seattle, but it was still hard to leave home and acting angry was better than bursting into tears in front of Mom.

"Jake and Billy are downstairs, watching TV with your dad. Jake brought some of his stuff with him. They loaded them in the back of your dad's truck. We need to get those downstairs too," she said in a rush, looking around and I nodded morosely. I had yet to take a bag to downstairs. I hated seeing my room empty. However, Jake was enthusiastic. Since Billy was unable to drive Jake, he was going to ride with me and dad.

"And, Bella, I swear that guy wears more make up than you," Mom suddenly whispered, giggling, and I cracked a smile at her. Jessica taught Jake the wonders of mascara and concealer and now he didn't step foot outside before hiding his blemishes.

Jake and me got accepted into many colleges, but we both chose to be close to our families. He wanted to stay close to his dad, not wanting to leave him all alone in his state as his sisters were already married and away. Mom and Dad praised him for his thoughtfulness until they caused him to blush furiously. As much as I was ecstatic that Jake would be with me, I would be away from Rose. She got into a school in California, and as her parents were supportive for a change, she decided to go there. It was a good thing she wouldn't be really far away and we would be able to see each other for holidays.

I had to admit that my mom had a lot to do with my decision to go to Seattle, but it was my decision in the end. I loved Seattle and it would be great studying English there. I knew I was being stupid by thinking like this, but it felt like I would let go of my family if I was away. I wasn't ready for that. I couldn't imagine going months and months without seeing my parents. So, Seattle was great for me.

"I'm all done, Mom. We can carry these tomorrow," I said, gesturing to the heavy looking boxes which were filled to the brim with books and magazines.

"You don't need to take all of these with you now, Bella. Take what you need and you can always get the others when you come on holidays. Or we can take them when we visit you."

Yeah, my college experience would be full of family memories since I was going to live with my mom's mother, Grandma Marie, in Seattle. When my parents first came to me with the idea of moving in with my grandma, I was horrified. After a screaming fest which shocked my parents, they accepted defeat and it was decided that I would be living in a dorm. After some fruitless research to find a suitable place, I was ready to retreat and live with Grandma Marie. Mom was right on one thing, I would be able to save money living with her, and it was a good thing.

Grandma Marie lived in a bright yellow, two story house which had a huge garden full of apple and peach trees. The second story of her cute house would be mine in the following four or more years. Grandma Marie wasn't that bad anyway. She was in her sixties and a real free spirit like my mom. After spending her younger days travelling around the world, she had settled down in Seattle when she had met grandpa and gotten pregnant with Mom. She and grandpa had bought her current house and she had been living there alone ever since grandpa died fifteen years ago.

Even though we didn't see each other more than a few times a year and those times were practically spent wandering around Seattle with my dad while Mom spent time with her. She seemed really excited to be living with me when we visited her to see the place. Actually, she was the one who told my mom that I could go live with her and this would be her contribution to her only granddaughter's college fund. Anyway, what was important was that she wasn't the type to hover, so I was hoping that I wouldn't regret my decision. Well, my parents promised me that I could always move into my own place if I didn't like living with her, so that was a relief.

Rose kept asking me if I was insane, deciding to spend my college years with my grandmother, but at least I would have my own bathroom. When I pointed out to her that she would have to share her bathroom with random people, she paled slightly and mumbled something about bleach and wipes. Rose was a neat freak and I knew it wouldn't be long before she moved out of the dorms to find a place of her own.

"You're both so lucky that you ended up in the same city. What will I do without you?" Rose moaned as she played with her fork. Ever since we came to the restraurant twenty minutes ago, she didn't stop talking. She was freaked out about being alone in an unfamiliar place, and she wasn't one to hide her emotions.

"I promise I'll call you every single day, Rose," Jake said with tears in his eyes. This separation was harder on them than they let anyone see. I was Rose's best friend, but Jake was her soulmate in a non romantic way. I swear they had the same brain, and it was scary sometimes.

"Bella, weekly e-mails, don't forget!" Rose ordered rather loudly to me and her mother, Mrs. Hale cleared her throat, always one for the manners.

"I'm sure you can maintain a relationship. People grow up and fall apart. It's normal. There's no need to make a big deal, Rose," she declared, looking at Rose with narrowed eyes, and I saw my mom grimace.

My mom didn't like Mrs. Hale at all. She tried her hardest to hide her distaste, but she always failed miserably. It wasn't like Mrs. Hale was a big fan of Mom anyway. She was only here because Rose begged her for two hours, and she couldn't say no when I was standing just beside Rosalie in their kitchen.

"Everything will be all right, Rose," Mom said cheerfully, patting Rose's hand and giving her a reassuring smile. "You'll see each other for every holiday, and I'm sure you won't even have the time to miss each other with all the new people to meet, new things to learn."

Yeah, that didn't sound scary at all. She was right though. I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited. I was wary about being in an unknown environment, but there was also anticipation. Someone who didn't know Rose or me could think that we were being cowards, but the only thing we feared was change and falling away from the ones we loved. I also knew we were strong enough to hold onto each other even if we wouldn't be in the same city. It was a confusing, bittersweet yet good feeling. Suddenly a huge smile spread over my face and I jumped on Rose, giggling, and she started to giggle with me too.

"Renee?" I heard a woman call and froze on my seat with my arms around Rose as my mom turned to look at the woman, smiling hugely.

"Is that… is that the asshole behind her?" Rose mumbled disbelievingly in my ear, but I was too far gone to answer her.

The woman, who was standing there smiling at us, was Esme Cullen and behind her Edward and his father were standing.

"Esme, hi! What a surprise!" Mom sang as she jumped to her feet and hugged Esme.

They met at a house warming party of a mutual friend this summer and became fast friends, much to my dismay. Consider my shock when I learned that my mother's new best friend was the mother of the guy who crushed my heart. I actually threw a fit and told my mom to stop seeing her and begged when that didn't work. All she said to me while I was in tears was that Esme did nothing to me, and I could never know the future. Whatever the hell that meant!

Rose was the one who calmed me down on those terrible days telling me over and over again that just because Edward was a heartless asshole, it didn't mean his mother was one too. Just because Mom saw Esme frequently, it didn't mean that I would see Edward too. I never wanted to see him.

I spent the whole summer slowly getting over the prom debacle. First, I was silent, too embarrassed to talk about it. Then, I started to talk to Rose, and she patiently listened to me as I raved, cried and cursed after Edward. All the little memories I had about him, all those stupid notes that we wrote to each other in the classes we shared, the tickets, the photos of him… She was there when I put all of those in a shoebox and threw them in to the deep end of my closet, never intending to look at them again. I just couldn't bring myself to throw them into the trash just yet. Maybe, someday.

I saw Edward at graduation ceremony in school and a few times around when I was out with Rose and Jake. All of these times were painful. It was really strange that a person could have that kind of effect on you. One second I was having fun with my friends, and then, just a second later, I was in unbearable pain just because I had seen him. Like now. It was the same now. My mood went from excited to down in a second just because I saw his perfect face staring at mine.

"Hi! How are you? Having a celebration dinner?" Esme asked, smiling at everyone. I dropped my gaze in fear of her remembering me from that day in the mall. I was sure Mom told her about me since I was her favorite topic to discuss with her friends, but there was a possibility that Esme didn't know that her friend's daughter was the girl she caught with her son in the mall. Even the memory of day was enough to twist my heart. I was so stupid, so hopeful.

I wasn't sure what happened next and how they ended up at the same table with us since I was too busy trying to look nonchalant and to ignore that tingly feeling that Edward's presence caused. He became impossible to ignore when he sat down across from me though. My eyes widened as he mumbled a hello to me, and I shot an angry glare to Mom, almost sure that this was her fault. Suddenly, a horrible thought occurred to me. What if she had planned this? In an effort to not look at Edward, I fully focused on glaring at Mom until she realised and frowned at me.

"We were visiting Carlisle's sister, and she's a horrible cook, so we decided to stop here while we were passing by. I'm so glad we did. It's been a week since we last talked. How's your garden?" Esme chirped cheerfully, taking Mom's attention from me.

I sighed and gripped Rose's hand under the table, looking for comfort. For a few moments, the conversation flowed between our parents. I learned that Edward's father, Carlisle, was an architect, and Edward was following in his steps. Mom told them how happy she was that I would be in Seattle. Esme told them she wished Edward had chosen to go to Seattle as well. Carlisle, Dad and Billy started talking about football. They were all getting along well and apparently not aware of the tension between their children.

Not being able to handle the tension and Edward's lingering eyes on me any longer, I stood up to go to the bathroom to wash my face and to compose myself a little. Why was he looking at me anyway? If he was waiting for me to crumble and talk to him, he would have to wait for a long time.

"Where are you going?" Mom asked with wide eyes, finally remembering she had a daughter and I shrugged.

"Bathroom," I mumbled and sprinted towards the bathroom before she could say anything else. Nothing she could say would make me feel all right now anyway. I felt trapped there, and I needed to breathe.

I nearly screamed in shock when I came out of the bathroom and found Edward waiting there, looking nervous as hell. My first instinct was to run away from him, but my feet were firmly planted on the ground and refused to move. That nervous tingly feeling attacked me with force, and I tried to breathe despite the heavy feeling in my chest.

"Hi," he said in a cautious tone, and I nodded awkwardly, wondering why in the hell he was here.

"Bella… I… look, that's awkward," he said, giving me a tiny smile which I couldn't return. I had spent all of the summer trying to forget that smile and now seeing it this close hurt me. I managed to continue to look at him pointedly and he continued, shaking his head. "Look, I'm sorry about the prom thing and if I gave you the wrong impression," he rushed out. "I just wanted to say that."

"The wrong impression?" I asked, feeling the dread of what he was about to say.

"Yeah… I didn't… I mean, I guess I could have been a little nicer about it, and I'm sorry for that. I just didn't know what to say when you asked me out like that."

"I didn't ask you out!" I shrieked in horror as a furious blush spread over my cheeks. I didn't ask him out. I just invited him to the prom! It wasn't asking him out, right?

"You invited me to the prom," he pointed out, looking at me sheepishly and blushing a little himself. Oh God, this was more than awkward.

"Yeah, as friends!" I yelled and took a deep breath to calm my erratic heart. "You thought I was asking you out? You thought you gave me the wrong impression by becoming friends with me and I thought you liked me?" I went on in a loud, desperate voice, already knowing his answers. "That was why you were so distant the last few days of school, right?"

"I didn't know what else to do. I never wanted to hurt you."

Of course, I had suspected that was the case, but hearing it from him hurt even after two months. The idea of me liking him and asking him out was so repulsive that he had to turn his back on me to avoid it from happening. When it happened, he didn't even care enough to tell me no. He just stayed away and watched me suffer after him. I thought I accepted this idea by now, thinking about it constantly during summer, but considering the way the tears rushed to my eyes, I guess I was wrong.

"You hurt me by distancing yourself from me," I mumbled, trying so hard not to cry. "Yes, I had some feelings for you. I'm sure I did some stupid stuff that made you have a good laugh, but I never ever thought that you liked me back! I wasn't that delusional. I only expected kindness and friendship from you."

I was so angry that it took me a few seconds to realize that I admitted that I had liked him, and I wanted to cry when I saw his expression. He looked horrified. I was sure he would run screaming if he knew I still had feelings for him.

"I'm so sorry," he said in a weird tone as I sniffed and blinked repeatedly to keep the tears at bay.

"It's okay. It doesn't matter anymore anyway. It was all in high school," I managed to get out and finally looked at his eyes, the eyes I loved so much. "Good luck in Chicago and in the rest of your life." I felt like such a drama queen when I said those words and hated myself for that, but his torn expression was worth it. Seeing him at a loss for words was worth it.

"I'm sure we'll see each other with our parents living here and our moms being friends. I know I acted like an ass, but we're friends, Bella. Right?" he said quickly, taking a hesitant step towards me as a tear rolled down my left cheek.

"I don't think we are friends or we ever were for that matter. A friend would never leave me waiting for a simple text message for days. A friend would never stay away from me just because he was afraid that he gave me the wrong impression."

I couldn't stop the tears that traced my cheeks after that and his expression didn't help either. I just wanted to shake him, slap him for making me love him despite everything. I never thought I would be the girl who cried after a guy desperately and here I was sobbing in front of Edward Cullen while he looked at me with desperation written all over his face.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," he said once again.

All I could say in return was a choked up goodbye as I ran away from him, wiping my cheeks furiously. I entered the bathroom once again to wash my face and hoped that he wouldn't be waiting outside again.

He wasn't waiting outside. He wasn't even at the table with his parents. I didn't even ask anyone where he went. I was numb. Shocked. Desperate.

What was worse, I knew I would be missing him terribly.

At the end of the night, I was almost sure that it would be the last time I saw Edward Cullen.

I was wrong.

With our mother's blooming friendship, Edward was a constant presence in my life, and I wasn't sure if it was a blessing or a curse.

* * *

><p>Hi!<p>

I want to thank to my amazing beta **adt216** for fixing this chapter!

I also want to thank to **cusic1981, TwilightMom505, rpattz granny, hooker81, cheetahgl4, majose and motherbeatrice** for leaving reviews and making me happy. I really like this story and will finish it even if it gets no reviews, but hearing your opinion makes me feel amazing. So, thank you!

The next chapter of Ideal Husband is ready and I just sent it to my beta. Read it if you haven't. :))

Have a great Sunday!

E.


	6. Chapter 6

**IMPORTANT: This chapter isn't edited. I'm sure it has many, many mistakes. Please tell me it it's too bad. Thank you!**

**Seven Years**

**August, 2008**

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and grimaced. The jean shorts I was wearing looked better on me than I had expected, but I wasn't still sure about them. I saw women larger than me wearing shorts. These pair had been sitting in my closet for a while and those women gave me the courage to try them. For some reason, I had the urge to ditch the usual jeans today, so I wasn't going to chicken out now. That didn't mean I was entirely happy with the result though. Anyone whose legs were as pale and thick as mine wouldn't be happy. I was going to spend the day inside anyway, so there was no need to change now.

Trying not to look at my pale legs and wide hips in the mirror, I grabbed a bright pink lipstick and put that on to cheer myself. The color looked pretty with my dark hair and pale face. Putting on some mascara, I was ready for today. It was the last day of my summer break and it was going to be awesome.

Looking at the mirror one last time and cringing once again, I went downstairs to find Mom. I groaned loudly when I saw her baking in the kitchen. God, she kept doing this all summer just to torture me. She knew I was trying to stay true to my diet and cookies were a no for me.

"They're not for you, so don't groan," she said cheerfully, looking at me from head to toe with a big smile on her face. "I see you finally got rid of your bulky jeans. You look beautiful."

"These are jean shorts, Mom," I said, smelling the air. Damn, she was making my chocolate chip cookies. "Who are these for?"

"For Sue. She broke her leg a couple of days ago. Poor thing. Esme is going to be here in any minute and we're going to visit her," she explained, ignoring the way I shuddered when she mentioned Esme.

We still argued about this, but I had to except that she was Mom's best friend since they didn't spend a week without seeing each other. This summer wasn't an exception. That woman was at our house all the time! She was lovely and all, but her son was an asshole and he looked a lot like her.

"Esme is going to pick you up?" I mumbled, trying to sound nonchalant. I didn't want to listen to another lecture on how Esme was an amazing woman and a good friend and how I was being rude by sneaking into my room whenever she was around. I heard it all summer. "Jess and Rose are going to be here in any minute."

"Are you staying here or going out?" Mom asked. "I can leave some cookies for you if you girls are staying in."

"Staying in. Rose is going to bring a couple of DVD's."

"Okay, honey," she said as the doorbell rang, making my stomach sink with dread. I had nowhere to run this time and Mom was looking at me pointedly. I ran to the door before she had a chance to open her mouth.

"Oh, it's you! Thank God," I sighed, slumping against the door frame in relief when I saw Rose and Jess standing in front of the door.

"What? We're not late," Rose said, looking at her watch and giving me an odd look.

"No, no. It's not that. Come in," I mumbled, ushering them inside and slamming the door shut.

"What is-"

"Girls, come here. I want to see you before I go, and I made cookies." Mom yelled, before Rose could finish. Rose didn't seem to mind though. She threw her purse at me and nearly ran to the kitchen in her haste to reach the cookies.

"I don't understand how she can stay this thin with all those sweets she eats," I moaned to Jess as we walked into the kitchen in a much slower pace.

"She's lucky," Jess said, shrugging and I had to agree. Some people were just lucky.

I guess I could say I was a little lucky too. At least I didn't gain weight ever since that disastrous summer back in 2006. I even lost a few pounds in the last two years and now I was one hundred and fifty two pounds. I still had a big butt and a belly, but whatever. I was okay with my body. Most of the time…

"This is awesome, Renee," Rose grunted as she chewed loudly and Mom beamed at her.

"God, you look more and more like Emmett every single day," I said, laughing at her as she ate the crumbles that fell on her shirt.

Emmett was the first person she met when she moved to California. She didn't stop talking about how sweet he was for days , making it fairly obvious that she liked him. When I told her that I thought she liked him, she hang up the phone after lashing at me about how I was being months after that incident, she called me to tell me that Emmett asked her out and she said yes. I met Emmett last summer, and I couldn't be happier for Rose.

"These are awesome," she repeated, shrugging and grabbed another one.

"Tell that to Bella. She wouldn't even touch one," Mom whined and I rolled my eyes.

"When I touch one, it never does me any good. That's why I don't touch them, Mom," I said sarcastically and she huffed, giving a plate to Jess.

"I think you look great now and these shorts are awesome. You should flaunt your ass more," Rose mumbled in between chewing and nodding to herself. "Nice ass."

"Sam bought these shorts for me," I said,snorting and looking at my pasty white legs. "I told him it was the last thing I would wear, but here I am, wearing this. I figured it wouldn't be too bad since we are staying in today."

"God, I love Sam. Jake is a fool for breaking up with him," Rose yelled with wide eyes as Mom nodded enthusiastically. They were Sam's biggest fans.

Sam. Well, I loved him to pieces. I could easily say that he was the best thing that happened to me in college. The first time I saw him was the first day of school and he caught my attention with his sullen face and foul attitude. He looked so pissed to be there that he was somehow entertaining to watch. It was weirdly soothing to see someone who was more miserable than me.

I was surprised and giddy when we ended up taking a few classes together. Jake kept implying that I liked Sam and was going to be hurt again, but I dismissed that idea. I didn't like him. It was just fun to be around Sam even if we didn't talk to each other. He didn't seem like anybody I knew, and I was just curious.

During my first year, Sam and I started talking to each other and then hung out a few times. He was an English major like me, and that depressed him to no end. He was really interested in fashion and being a designer was his biggest dream. He was the biggest drama queen ever and since the things he tended to worry about were small things like his hair or nails, I ended up laughing a lot when I was around him. I also learned that he was very much gay and liked Jake. When they started dating, Sam became one of my best friends.

Dragging me to shopping was one of his favorite past time activities and I learned a lot from him. Clothes and make up weren't the only things I learned from him though. He was an inspiration for me. The was he carried himself, his self confidence and his disregard to other people's opinions about him caused me to be in awe with him. He was the strongest person I had ever met and I couldn't help but be influenced by him.

He was also one of my biggest supporters. He never failed to tell me I was pretty. Whenever I tried something new, like a haircut or a new shirt, he was there to gush over me, making me feel good about myself, and I began to believe him with time. It felt great to feel good about myself.

"He's a genious, I swear," Rose said, taking the cup Mom was giving to her. "You good really good."

"Thank you. It's been waiting in the closet for forever, " I muttered, cracking a smile. "It makes me look bigger than normal, but-"

"Shut up already! You have boobs, ass and curves. Embrace them. Flaunt them. You're hot!" Rose shrieked fiercely, making Jess and Mom burst into a fit of giggles.

"Yeah, I'm so hot," I said sarcastically, battling my lashes and trying to not to laugh as her face got red with fury.

"Laugh it up! Why do you think guys keep asking you out?" She barked, looking satisfied with herself when she saw me flinch.

My smile vanished from my face when I noticed Mom's eyes on me. She had been trying to make me talk about this for the last few days and Rose just handed her an opportunity. She wasn't going to stop prodding me until she got an answer now.

Yeah, there were a few guys who were interested in me in the last two years, but the problem was my disinterest in them. The most insistent one was Riley, a friend of Sam's, and he was the only one I dated for a while.

When Riley first asked me out, I freaked out, thinking that he had some ulterior motive. It may sound stupid, but it didn't make sense that someone like him would ask me out. He wasn't the most handsome guy, but he was cute with sandy blonde hair and light brown eyes. I was very blunt and rude when I rejected him, causing Sam to go crazy on my ass. He didn't speak to me for a week for crushing his friend's ego. Riley wasn't around so much after that. I couldn't blame him.

With my newly gained self confidence, this year was a lot easier on me than my first year in college. For starters, I stopped freaking out when guys asked me out and surprisingly there were a few guys who asked me out. When Riley gained his courage and asked me out for the second time, I said yes just out of curiosity. I was nineteen and I had never been gone to a date. I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

Riley was an easy going person and having a lot in common helped us to stay together enough to go to a few dates. I was content with the way things went until my first kiss. All I could think about was that it would be much more beautiful if it was with Edward when Riley kissed me, and I hated myself for that. I started comparing Riley to Edward. Knowing that Riley was much better than Edward wasn't enough to make me see Riley in a romantic way. It was unfair to him. I broke things with him and since all of this happened at the end of this year and I was stupid enough to tell Mom about Riley, she was now after me, trying to learn why I broke up with him. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I still kept thinking about that asshole when she was best friends with that asshole's mother. Sad, but I didn't trust Mom to keep this information to herself.

"Rose," I groaned as the doorbell rang once again, saving me from Mom's inquiring eyes. I knew it was Esme this time.

"Mom, please, can you get it?" I asked in the sweetest voice possible but her hands were covered with dough.

"It's just Esme and Lizzie, Bella. Not Edward. He's touring Europe with his friends from college," she exclaimed while gesturing for me to go open the door.

"I know that. You kept talking about him all summer," I muttered under my breath as I walked to the front door.

"Hi, Bella," Esme chirped when I opened the door, holding a sleepy looking Lizzie in her arms and I had to smile despite the anxiety I felt.

When Esme found out she was pregnant with Lizzie at the age of forty, it was all Mom talked about for days. It was the beginning of my freshman year, the phase during which I passionately hated Edward, so it was extemely annoying to listen about his family drama. Lizzie was adorable, though, and I loved her despite her brother.

"Hi," I said, briefly glancing at Esme and giving a polite smile. "Hi, Lizzie," I turned to Lizzie quickly, taking her small hand in mine and earning a big smile from her.

"Mom, Esme is here," I shouted, stucking my head inside the house and turned back only to see him approaching behind.

Edward. Great!

I had seen him around a few times in the last two years. It was inevitable, living in the same neighbourhood and all, but this was the first time I saw him this summer and I wasn't ready for this encounter. It had been two years since we said one word to each other. I spent two years, trying to fool myself that I was completely over him and failing miserably. A shiver rippled though me the moment I saw him. I hated the stupid way my heart accelareted as his bright green eyes stopped on me. That familiar tingly feeling appeared in my stomach, stronger than ever. Heavier than ever. This time it was mixed with hurt, resentment and longing. I hated this feeling so much.

"Mom, ready to go?" He asked, stopping next to her and I finally allowed myself to take a good look at him.

He didn't look a lot different. His hair was still a mess on his head, just a little bit shorter. His bright green eyes looked tired. He looked tired. It was the first time I saw him with stubble and it suited him. His lips curved into a small smile and he raked his hand through his hair, causing me to gather myself and avert my eyes from him, blushing furiously at the same time. How could he have the same affect on me after two years? And that smirk? How in the hell?

"Is Renee ready, honey?" Esme asked me, apparently not aware that I was seconds away from bursting into tears of frustration. "My car stopped working this morning for some reason. I was going to call your mom to ask her to pick me up, but Edward told me he could drive us. He came back yesterday night," she went on and on, grabbing Edward's arm.

"Yeah, okay," I managed to croak out, not knowing what else to say. It would be rude to say Esme that I never wanted to see her son again. Yeah, it would definitely be rude. "Mom!" I yelled once again.

"What's taking her so long?" Esme said and went inside with Lizzie, leaving me standing on the porch with Edward. It was awkward.

"Hi, Bella," I heard him say as I was about to go inside as well. The way he said my name made me stop abruptly and I wanted to scream at him.

"Hi," I said instead, not even looking at him. "I'm going to go see what's taking so long," I muttered to myself as he spoke for a second time.

"So, how is it going on?"

Really? Did he really think we could stand here and talk like nothing happened? I cried after him. I cried for months. He made me feel humiliated, unwanted, silly, ugly, angry… He turned my silly little world upside down. Now, he was standing before me, trying to make a small talk as if we were best friends.

"Oh, just awesome," I said, looking directly into his eyes with all the fury I could muster. "I'm having the time of my life standing here with you."

The second the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. I had to act cool and collected. I couldn't let him see that he still affected me. I wouldn't give him that.

"Oh," he said, sounding dejected and looking like he was actually hurt.

I felt my heart lurch painfully and I opened my mouth to say something, but Mom called my name.

"Bella, come here and bring Edward. I made coffee."

"Okay, Mom!" I yelled back, cursing inside. I swear she hated me.

"I was just going," Edward said, pointing awkwardly to his car and I sighed, closing my eyes for a second. Why in the hell was I feeling sorry for him right now? Just because he looked hurt for a brief second? I was crazy!

"You can come in if you want. Mom made cookies," I mumbled half heartedly, opening my eyes.

"I really don't want to impose or disturb you," he said, looking really undecided.

"You can't disturb me. I don't care," I said a little bit too fiercely, not even believing it myself. I cared and that was the thing that bothered me. I wanted to kick his ass, rip his hair and punch his face. I wanted to hurt him like the way he hurt me.

"Okay," he whispered as I turned to go inside.

All heads turned to us when we entered the kitchen. Rose's brow arched in question when she saw Edward behind me and Jess gaped at him. It was the first time she saw him since graduation and I was sure she was taken aback by his defined muscles. They had the same effect on me last year when I saw him in the mall.

"Oh, Edward. Hi, honey! Esme said you're going to drive us. That's really nice of you! How was Europe? Sit down and have a coffee. I made some cookies," Mom started yapping when she spotted Edward behind me. "The ones that you love."

I wanted to fly over the table and slap my mom. Did she feed him cookies behind my back?

"Thank you, Renee," Edward said, smiling at her and sitting down.

"Bella, are you sure you don't want any? I'm going to leave a few for your dad and pack the rest for Sue," Mom said as she filled a cup with coffee.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I muttered, glaring at the back of her head. We would be having a long, nice talk tonight.

"Okay, if you're sure. Can you load the dishwasher, honey?" she asked, turning to me and beaming happily.

"Sure, Mom," I snarled and started to load the dishes while muttering under my breath.

"I couldn't make her eat one, Esme," Mom suddenly started, sitting down next to Esme and gesturing to me. Why would she say that in front of Esme and Edward? Why? They could see themselves that I was a fat ass. "I know she loves them, but she wouldn't eat one. She's on a diet."

"Mom, don't be a drama queen," I said, sounding a little louder than I intended to. I was about to lose it, but she couldn't see that she was way out of line. If making me look more pathetic to Edward was her intention, she was doing a really good job.

"Why?" Esme asked and if she didn't sound so innocent, I would think she was making fun of me. "You look great, Bella. I think you should eat what you want from time to time."

"Thank you," I said. "I eat what I want. Mom is just making a big deal out of it."

"Well, that's good. You have a nice figure. A gorgeous butt," Esme said and then turned and started talking to Mom about some pilates class, leaving me gaping at her.

"Oh, my God," Rose exclaimed with a cracked voice and burst into laughter as Jessica shook beside her with a red face. Mom and Esme were still talking, oblivious to the laughter, but Edward looked pissed.

"Mom, I'm going to meet with Jasper in thirty minutes, so if you want me to give you a ride, you need to hurry up," he said, standing up abruptly and I was surprised to find the tips of his ears pink.

"We're ready, Edward, chill," Esme said, winking at me as Rose barked out a laughter.

A few minutes later, they left and Rose was still laughing.

"Okay, it's enough!" I yelled and sat down on the couch. "What the hell is going on with you?"

"Oh, Bella, you have no idea!" She cried, giggling. "It's hilarious."

"What's hilarious? Enlighten me, please," I said, glaring at her and this time Jess started giggling too.

"Edward was totally checking out your ass when you loaded that dishwasher and his mom caught him looking. Well, he was pretty obvious. Anyway, that's why she made that comment about your butt," Rose said in between giggles as my mouth dropped open in shock.

"He… What?"

"He was checking you out .It was so obvious he was looking at your butt."

"It is ridiculous," I scoffed, not believing for a second that he was checking me out. There was no way he would look at me like that.

"It isn't. We both saw it," Rose said as Jess nodded with a smirk on her face. "Esme saw it. She's awesome, by the way. She made Edward squirm and blush!"

"It doesn't make sense," I mumbled to myself as my face got hot. Even the thought of him looking at me like that was enough to fluster me. He would never, though. I mean, my butt! Huh! Never. I was sure he was looking at something else and not my butt.

"It does make sense," Rose countered back with a devilish grin, but I didn't want to talk about Edward anymore. I didn't want to hear anything about him. I didn't want to see him. I had enough.

"Okay, enough with Edward. Let's watch these movies," I said, trying to change the topic. Rose looked like she was about to say something, but she kept her mouth shut.

We spent the rest of the day watching romance movies and laughing at the cheesy lines. I tried to be relaxed but I could feel the calm that I felt all through the summer vanish. Just one sight of him, one conversation with him and I was under his influence once again. I was feeling restless, like something was going to happen.

What I didn't know then that something big was really about to happen.

I didn't know then that Edward would walk into my life once again.

And this time he would stay.

* * *

><p>Hi!<p>

First, I want to say I'm really sorry that I made you wait this long for an update.

I also want to thank to everyone who reads and reviews this story!:) It means a lot to me!

I was informed today that this story was recommended on a facebook page. I got a few reviews that made me smile like an idiot. I'm going to reply to those reviews after I post this chapter. I just wanted to thank to everyone who recommended this story! :)

Have a great day!

E.


	7. Chapter 7

**IMPORTANT: This chapter isn't edited. I'm sure there are many, many mistakes. Please tell me if it's too bad. Thank you.**

* * *

><p><strong>Seven Years<strong>

**December, 2008**

Sitting on my bed, I let out a huge yawn and rubbed my eyes. Having no other thing to do, I was intent on staying inside and being lazy today. It was snowing like crazy outside and nothing could make me go out in this weather. Changing into something warm and comfortable, I went downstairs to find my grandma. I was sure she prepared something special for breakfast since I was going to Port Angeles tomorrow and we weren't going to see each other for a while. The second I stepped foot into kitchen, I saw Sam sitting and looking furious.

"What's up, dude?" I asked, not even feeling surprised that he was here. He had a tendency to come whenever he wanted and my Grandma loved him.

"He left! He went to California to see that guy! Can you believe him?" He shrieked, jumping to his feet.

"Who left?" I asked morosely as I poured some milk into a glass.

"Jake!" He barked, looking at me with furious eyes. "Do you know anyone else who has a boyfriend in California?"

"He left?" I asked again as Sam looked like he wanted to hit me. "He was going to drive me to Port Angeles tomorrow. He can't leave," I continued and grabbed my phone to call Jake.

"Oh, believe me, I'm sure he doesn't even remember that he was supposed to drive you. That Jared guy called yesterday afternoon and Jake isn't home now. So?"

"Oh, Sam. Just because he's not home, it doesn't mean he's in California. Stop being a drama queen and let me call him."

Right that second, my phone beeped, indicating that I had a text and it was from Jake. He was in California with Jared and he would be back in Seattle in two days to pick me up so that we could go to Port Angeles. It turned out that Sam wasn't being a drama queen in the end.

"He's in California," I mumbled, trying to make it sound like it was nothing important. Sam was already pissed off enough.

"See, I told you. Jerk! I can't believe him! Ok, I understand he doesn't care about me, but going to all the way to California to see that guy? I mean, come on!" Sam ranted, his face getting seriously red.

It was no secret that Sam really liked Jake and wanted to get back together with him. At the beginning of this year, it seemed like Jake was interested in fixing their relationship as well, but it lasted until he met Jared while visiting his sisters in California. Seeing him liking another guy crushed Sam, but he didn't let Jake see it. They decided to remain friends, but the state Sam was in now was the perfect proof that he didn't see Jake as a friend.

"Sam," I tried to intervene, but he raised his hands to stop me.

"He just left you here! What an asshole! He promised to drive you to Port Angeles. It's Christmas in a couple of days, for God's sake."

"He says he's going to be back in a couple of days to pick me up," I said, sounding calm, but actually I was a little bit hurt. Jake knew it was my mom's birthday tomorrow and that was why I wanted to go home early. I knew I couldn't blame him for wanting to see his boyfriend, but it he could have told me about it before going to see him.

"It's Renee's birthday tomorrow! I swear, he's a selfish asshole. How are you going to go home? He knows you're scared of flying and I bet all the busses are full!"

"Okay, kids, calm down," Grandma spoke for the first time as she put some plates on the table."Stop berating yourself for someone who doesn't seem to care," she went on, patting Sam's hands.

Sam opened his mouth to say something, but Grandma stopped him. "I knew you're hurt, but it doesn't change the fact that he went after another man. So, stop making yourself more miserable," she said and then turned to me. "Bella, I think you should call Charlie. He can come and pick you up tomorrow morning. I'm sure Renee would like to see you on her birthday."

"She would like to see you as well," I said, grinning.

"You know I already promised my friends that I would spend this Christmas with them, Bella," she mumbled as her cheeks seemed to get a little pink. I had a suspicion that she had a boyfriend, but I hadn't asked her yet. How could someone ask their grandmother if she had a boyfriend? Yeah, awkward.

After I told Dad the situation I was in and he agreed to pick me up, I went back to kitchen only to find Sam sulking alone. He was an amazing guy. Sweet, sensitive, funny. Jake was stupid for letting him go. However, nothing made sense when it came to love. I knew that. I was the one who broke up with Riley even though he was one of the greatest guys I had ever met. I was the one who still thought about that asshole.

"You know I really understand you now," Sam mumbled as I sat down beside him. "It sucks when the person you like is a insensitive jerk."

"Sam," I sighed, snuggling into him. "Jake is one of my bestfriends, but I don't feel guilty when I say that you deserve better."

"Thank you, Bella," he whispered and looked at me, his mouth twitching.

"What?"

"Oh, I just remembered that Alice invited me to her house today," he said, sounding innocent as I groaned loudly.

"God, Sam! Go, see her! Whatever," I yelled as I scooted away from him.

"Don't be like this. Come on, Bella," he laughed, grabbing my arm. "She's an awesome girl."

"Yeah, she's an awesome girl who happens to be Edward's cousin," I shot back, glaring at him.

"It's not her fault they're related," he stated, pulling towards him.

"Sam, she's also dating Jasper. Jasper's is Edward best friend. How do you expect me to like her?" I whined, finally standing up.

I swear I had to be the unluckiest person on earth. There was no other explanation. When we first met Alice on campus, I actually liked her. With her shiny, black hair and big, blue eyes, she was one of those people who always seemed cheerful. Once we started hanging out and got closer, she introduced us to her boyfriend, Jasper. At first, I was hopeful that he wouldn't remember me, but I was wrong. When he casually mentioned that he had gone to the same high school as me, Alice started going on and on about her cousin Edward who had gone to the same school. It didn't take me long to discover that her cousin Edward was actually Edward Cullen. I was doomed.

After that day, I refused to hang out with Alice, much to Sam's dismay. I knew I was being unfair to Alice, but I simply couldn't bring myself to spend time with her. It was obvious she loved Edward to pieces from the way she talked about him. She showed me some pictures that they had taken the last time they were together and I was done. I couldn't see her anymore. She kept reminding me Edward. The harder I tried to forget him, the closer I found myself to him and it was discouraging. He was everywhere!

"You're being so rude to her," Sam said, shaking his head. "What did she ever do to you? She likes you and keeps asking me if she did anything to offend you."

"Sam, I know you're trying to make me feel guilty," I muttered, sitting down again. Yes, I was already feeling guilty about the way I acted towards Alice. The rational side of me knew she didn't deserve the cold shoulder I was giving her, but my heart was adamant about staying away from her. Getting closer to her felt like betraying myself.

"Is it working?" Sam asked, sounding frustrated. "You say you're over Edward, but it doesn't look like you're over him. Come on, Bella, she's just his cousin. She's not him. You're being ridiculous."

"You don't know how much he hurt me, Sam."

"I know, but it's not about him. It's about Alice. You're refusing to spend time with her and hurting her because of him. It's not fair. I know you liked her when you first met her," he said and stood up. "I will be there tonight. Call me if you want to come."

With that he kissed my cheek and went out of the door, leaving me with my thoughts. He actually was right. I was letting Edward direct my life by avoiding Alice and it was stupid. However, I couldn't forget the way she talked about him. Was I exaggerating this?

"You're making a big deal out of this, Bella," Grandma suddenly said, startling me. I didn't even know she was in the kitchen.

"Have you been listening to us?" I asked, narrowing my eyes and she smirked. God, she knew everything about my life.

"Well, it was hard to not to listen."

"Great," I groaned as she put a cup of coffee in front of me. "Don't tell Mom about this. She's rooting for team Edward."

"I won't, honey," she said, giving me a warm smile. "Do you like this Alice?"

"Yeah," I answered, stirring my coffee. "That's why I feel guilty."

"If you like her, you should be friends with her. Why do you let him get in the way between you and Alice?"

"It's not that simple," I mumbed and she sighed.

"First love never seems simple, but is actually is," she said softly, patting my cheek.

"I'm not in love with Edward," I argued, blushing furiously.

"He's Esme's son, right? He's quite dashing," she continued as if she didn't hear me.

"Grandma, I'm not in love with him!" I said in a voice a lot louder than neccessary.

"You sometimes call his name when you're asleep," she mentioned, giving me a soft look and that was when I lost it.

"I don't! You must have heard it wrong," I practically screamed. "It doesn't matter if I do anyway. He's never going to look at my way, so we should stop talking about him."

"Bella, it's okay," she said, wiping my cheek as I shook my head.

I was actually tired of denying that I was in pain. I was suffering and I wanted somebody to know that. I wanted somebody to tell me that it was going to be okay. The way that Grandma now looked at me gave me hope. She didn't look at me with pitying eyes. She looked like she tried to understand, tried to help.

"Don't you see? I'm so stupid. I can't be friends with Alice. She talks about him and it makes me think about him. I started having dreams about him just because she mentioned his name a few times. I'm pathetic." I choked out, tears streaming down my face.

"Come here, baby," Grandma cooed, opening her arms and I hugged her with all my might. "I don't really know what happened between you and Edward that hurt you so much. I'm so sorry, honey. You're a beautiful girl and you deserve the best," she mumbled into my ear while she stroked my hair.

"What if I don't want the best? What if I just want him? Is it too much to ask? Not that I want him or anything," I mumbled, sniffing. "I don't know why I'm like this, but he is just… he's always here and here," I said, pointing to my chest and my head. "I can't seem to get rid of him. God, I'm such an idiot."

"You're not an idiot and he's a lucky guy," Grandma stated, ignoring me when I snorted.

"Oh, he's so lucky," I bit out sarcastically, wiping my cheeks.

"He is," she insisted, kissing my head. "If he opens his eyes and notices what a special woman you are, he will be even luckier."

"I don't think he will ever see me that way."

"Oh, you can never know. Just promise me you will make him work for it when he finally opens his eyes," she said, winking. "He needs to prove himself because you're worth everything."

"Thank you," I mumbled, giving her a watery smile. "I can't talk to Mom about stuff like this. She gets all excited for nothing."

"Oh, I know her," she said, rolling her eyes and I giggled. "I still think you should give this Alice a chance. You can always tell her to shut up if she talks about Edward."

"You know what? You're right," I sighed and she nodded. "I'm calling Sam now. Thank you."

A few hours later, I was in my room getting ready for spending the night at Alice's place. After I told Sam that I would come, Alice actually called me, screaming in my ear about how excited she was and that made me feel a lot better about my decision. She didn't deserve my crap. It was my problem that I was still hung up on her cousin.

I couldn't believe myself that I sobbed like that in front of my grandma, but to tell the truth, it felt good to let it all go. I had been having weird dreams about Edward for the last few months and they were slowly driving me crazy. I last dreamed about him a few days ago. We were on a large green field which was covered with daisies and he was reading something as I sat beside him. Everything was so beautiful and serene and I was so content to be there with him. Putting his book aside, he tucked my hair behind my ear and said that he was sorry he was making me wait. When I said it was okay, he told me he would make up for it. I didn't know what the hell those meant, but I was smiling from ear to ear when I woke up. Yeah, I guess I finally went crazy.

"Bella, Sam's here," Grandma called and I put down my hairbrush and grabbed my bag. It was time to face the music and I needed to be calm and brave.

Alice started jumping up and down when she saw me in front of her door and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh, my God. You came! You don't hate me. You really came!" She shrieked as Sam and Jasper started laughing too.

"I told you that I didn't hate you, Alice. I even apologized for acting like a bitch," I said as she ushered us inside.

"Yes, you did and I have a surprise for you!"

"Surprise? What?" I asked as she opened a door, grabbed someone's arm and push him in front of me.

"Edward's here!" She shrieked as Edward and I looked at each other in shock.

He was right in front of me, looking at me with wide, suprised eyes. I wanted to open my mouth and scream at Alice, but it seemed like all I could do was stare at him. The first thing I noticed was how tired he looked and for some reason his red, puffy eyes bothered me. With his beard and wrinkled shirt which had stains on it, he looked like a homeless person. He looked awful, but he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen in my entire life. Trying to control my furiously beating heart, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Maybe, it was just a dream. He would be gone when I opened my eyes again.

"God, one would think they would be happier to see each other." I heard Alice mumble and opened my eyes to glare at her.

Was she kidding me?

"Are you kidding me?" I bit out, not even minding that I was being rude.

"What?" She asked, her smile fading.

"How is that a surprise?" I nearly barked, gesturing Edward. "What are you…? God!"

"Bella, calm down," Sam whispered, grabbing my arm. "You're being too dramatic and you'll regret it."

"I thought… Jasper said you and Edward were friends in high school. Edward came this morning. I thought you guys were friends. I thought you would be happy to see him," Alice mumbled, blushing as I took another deep breath.

"I can go back to sleeping if I bother you this much, Bella," Edward muttered, looking at the floor as I let out a sigh. What the hell was I doing?

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Sam asked before I had a chance to open my mouth. "You are Edward, right? Hi, I'm Sam. Nice to meet you! Forgive Bella. She's menstruating," Sam said, shaking Edward's hand and giving him a big smile.

"I only… God, I had no idea it would…" Alice babbled, looking at Edward and then me. The sight of her eyes filling with tears made my eyes water too, and I sniffed, causing Sam to laugh.

"See, she's mental," he said and gave me a wink.

"Alice, I'm sorry. I was really shocked to see him standing in front of me and we weren't exactly friends," I said, feeling like a jerk. It was the truth, though. I wasn't prepared to deal with him and the sight of him just made me go crazy.

"Oh, then, I'm sorry, too," Alice said, smiling. "Well, you can be friends now. Everyone, have a seat."

Sitting down next to Sam, I tried to not to look at Edward, but it was difficult since he was sitting right across from me and watching me.

"So, Edward, how's school?" Sam asked lamely as I grabbed his arm for support. I didn't know how long we were going to stay here. I actually wanted to excuse myself and go home, but I was already rude enough to Alice. I just had to suck it up and sit down.

"It's good, I guess," he said and Jasper snorted.

"He's being humble," Alice said, shaking her head. "He's pretty determined when he decides to do something and he's intent on finishing school early."

"That's a good quality to have. I'm sure you're a great guy," Sam mused, sounding sarcastic.

"Thanks," Edward said, his eyes still on me and I felt Sam shake with restrained laughter. Who knew what was going on in his mind?

There was a few minutes of silence as Edward kept looking at me and I kept looking at the carpet until Alice huffed. "Okay, something awkward is going on between you guys. Were you dating or something?" She asked bluntly as my gaze flew up to hers.

"What? No! No," I shrieked, blushing furiously. "We weren't even friends. That's all."

"I remember Edward telling me about you," Jasper spoke for the first time today and I mentally cursed at him. What happened to that cool, silent guy?

"Well, obviously, we hang out a few times, but-" I went on to say, but Edward cut me off.

"We were friends, but I ruined it. I think you should stop asking about it, Alice. She's already uncomfortable," Edward said, smiling a little and stood up. "I'm going back to sleeping."

There was a weird pang of guilt in my chest as I watched him leave the living room. I didn't mean to make him run away. Sure, his presence was too much to handle, but seeing him looking dejected was hard as well. As much as I spent hours and hours talking about how I wanted to see him as hurt as I was, the tiniest flicker of hurt that I saw in his eyes was enough to make me feel bad.

"Wow," Alice gasped, getting my attention. "There's something going on between you and someday I'm going to learn all about it," she said, giving me a wide smile and freaking me out. "Now, I'm hungry. Let's eat!"

After eating the delicious meal Alice cooked, we were back in the living room. Jasper and Sam found a horrible horror movie on TV, but there was no way they were going to make me watch that.

"That's my cue to go," I said, not being able to look at the gory scene in front of me.

"Come on, Bella. Woman up!" Alice said, giggling and hugging Jasper's arm.

"She doesn't watch horror movies," Sam intervened, looking at the TV with wide eyes.

"Okay, we can do something else together," Alice chirped, making a move to stand up, but I stopped her. She looked too cozy next to her boyfriend and I didn't want to ruin her fun.

"No, it's okay. I have a book with me. I'm going to read until the movie's over."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am. Enjoy your movie," I said and grabbed my book.

Before I settled down with my book, I went to the kitchen to take a glass of water, but the sight I saw there made mouth even drier. Edward was sitting alone at Alice's huge table and eating. He gave me a small grin when he saw me and I nodded awkwardly.

"Do you want something?" He asked, licking his lips and not having any idea how that effected me.

"Water," I practically squeaked out, grabbing a bottle from the fridge.

"Are you going to read?" He asked, gesturing to my book. "I… can we talk if you're not going to read?"

"About what?" I asked as my heart thundered in my chest. Well, at least, I was able to make a conversation without making an ass out of myself.

"I don't know. Just talk," he said, shrugging and standing up. "The view from the balcony is amazing. Would you like to sit there?" He continued, walking towards to the balcony and I found myself following him without really thinking.

"You sit down and I'm going to get a drink for myself," he said and went inside, leaving me in the dark, cold balcony.

What the hell was I doing? Sitting alone with him and talking? What good would talking do after all the pain I suffered because of him? I sighed, looking at the blinking city lights. Maybe, talking would do some good. I was aware that keeping my anger and humiliation inside constantly hurt me. Thinking about why he did what he did pained me everyday. Maybe, I could learn his reasons. Maybe, he would say something to make some of the humiliation I felt go away.

Edward came back to the balconly with a tall glass of milk and smiled widely when he noticed me looking at it. "I like milk. What?" He asked playfully and I couldn't help but smile.

"Are you cold?" He asked, sipping his milk.

"No, it's okay. We're practically inside anyway," I said, touching the thick glass that surrounded the balcony and seperated us from the chilly weather.

"You know, I really saw you as a friend," he muttered, looking at me. "I really regret that I hurt you. I didn't mean to do that."

"Why did you do that?" I blurted out, not helping myself. "Why didn't you just send me a reply to tell me no? I know it's a silly thing to ask now. I mean, it was a silly high school crush, but I'm just wondering."

"Are you still friends with Tanya?" He asked after a few seconds of silence.

"No, I don't really talk to her," I said, feeling dread settle in my stomach. I knew she had some part in all of this mess. I always knew it, but I couldn't even admit it to myself.

"Good for you," he mumbled, taking a large breath. "I can't believe I'm telling you this. Here it goes. She told me you were in love with me."

"What?" I gasped, my eyes widening. "I… how? When?"

"A few days before prom. She told me that you were planning to ask me to prom. When I told her I would go with you, she told me you were in love with me. I was so confused. I saw you as a friend and I didn't want to hurt you," he said, shaking his head. "She kept going on and on about how much it would hurt you if I said yes to you when I didn't have any feelings for you. She told me that you would expect something more… a relationship if I went with you. I didn't know what to do, so what she said seemed okay. It was the end of the year and I thought you would forget about me pretty soon. I just never really thought how much that would hurt you. I was stupid. I'm really, really sorry, Bella," he rushed out, looking absolutely pained as I listened to him with my mouth dropped open in shock.

"God, I was so stupid," I whimpered, shaking my head.

"Me, too," Edward said, looking into my eyes. "Please, believe me, I didn't mean to hurt you. Never."

I was so shocked by Tanya's betrayal that I didn't even know what to think about Edward now. Yeah, I always had a suspicion about her, but I never thought she would just go and tell Edward everything. God, Rose was so right. Tanya manipulated me and Edward. Saying those things to Edward… How could she? I guess I was lucky that I was no longer friends with her.

"Wow," I managed to get out. "So, you didn't reply because you didn't want to hurt me?"

"I know it sounds stupid, but that was my intention. I'm so sorry."

"It does sound stupid. You know how much it hurt me when I didn't get any reply? Tanya might have said so, but I wasn't expecting a marriage proposal," I said sarcastically, not helping myself.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated again and I could see that he meant it. It was obvious from the way he looked at me. Holding a grudge against him was easy, but it was tiring and it hurt me. Deep down, I knew he was a good guy and that he didn't mean to hurt me. We were just teenagers when that happened. I did some pretty stupid things myself, so I could understand him. Even if a little.

"Okay. I understand. Kind of," I said, giving him a small smile but it widened when he sighed in relief.

"Were you… Did you ever have a thing with Tanya?" I asked after a few moments of silence. I had to know if she went and told Edward about my feelings just because she had feelings for him too. Was it jealousy that made her do that or did she do it simply because she hated me? I had to know.

"No, never. She asked me out once, but I said no. That was it," he said, looking lost in thought. "Actually, that happened on your birthday."

"My birthday?" I was shocked and appaled that the girl I had seen as a friend for years did so many things behind my back.

"Yeah, she asked me out the day you invited me to your birthday. I told her that I didn't want to date her and can you guess what she did after that?" he said, snorting and shaking his head. "She went and told Tyler she liked him. They started dating that day."

"I remember," I gasped. "That was her excuse for not coming to my birthday party."

"God, no. She was too busy trying to make Tyler and me fight. For some reason still unknown to me, she told Tyler that I liked her and he believed that. We had a huge argument the day of your birthday."

"Oh, my God," I breathed out as Edward snickered softly. "She was such a bitch."

"Yeah. It doesn't excuse my behaviour, but I was under her influence. I was such an idiot."

"Yeah, kind of," I said again as he laughed loudly.

We spent the rest of the night talking. I didn't even realize that Sam, Jasper and Alice watched two other movies as we sat, talking. I didn't even realize that it started snowing outside and it was freaking cold. I didn't even realize it was four in the morning when Sam told me it was time to go home.

When I went to bed at five in the morning, there was a big ass smile on my face, and text I received from Edward made me smile even bigger.

_Text Charlie that he doesn't need to drive all the way to pick you up. Be ready at eleven. I have your address. Sweet dreams. _

* * *

><p>Hi, everyone!<p>

I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed last chapter! Your support means a lot to me!:)

I hope you like this chapter! Please tell me what you think:)

Have a great weekend!

E.


	8. Chapter 8

**IMPORTANT: This chapter isn't edited. I'm sure it has many, many mistakes. Please tell me if it's too bad.**

* * *

><p><strong>Seven Years<strong>

**December, 2009**

"Are you sure you're doing it right?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"It looks gross."

"It doesn't. It's supposed to look like this. Go away."

"What? I'm just telling the truth! It looks like a poisonous potion, not like a soup. Green and bubbling."

"Edward," I groaned, hitting his arm with the wooden spoon. "Don't you have anything else to do? Go watch the game with my dad and Carlisle. Just go," I begged. He had been driving me crazy ever since he arrived with his family tonight.

"No, thanks," he said, grinning cheekily. "It's more fun to watch you cook."

"I'm glad I can amuse you," I said morosely as Mom and Esme entered the kitchen with Lizzy walking behind them.

"How is it going, honey?" Mom asked, eyeing the soup and then looking at me with a weird expression. What was wrong with these people? My soup was fine!

"Great," I said, arching an eyebrow and silently daring her to say something.

I was a good at cooking, damn it. I was not going to let them mock my cooking.

"Oh, it just looks like-" Mom started, but my loud huff made her stop.

"Mom, I know how to cook this, okay? Trust me. I'm not going to make a mess and everything will be delicious. You should go and rest."

I knew it was killing Mom that she couldn't cook tonight. It was arranged beforehand that we would eat together with Cullens tonight and Mom was excited about it. However, she fell down and hurt her right wrist badly today, proving that I got my clumsiness from her. After shedding many tears and contemplating the idea of ordering out, she begrudgingly agreed that I could cook for tonight. Well, I wasn't the greatest cook out there, but I learned a lot from my Grandma during the years I lived with her. I was sure I could prepare a decent dinner despite Edward who was bothering me to no end.

"I can help you," Esme offered, but I shook my head adamantly. I could do this without their help.

"No, thank you, Esme. You can both go and do something else. Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes," I said stubbornly. "Can you just take Edward with you? He's annoying."

"Me?" Edward gasped in mock surprise and I rolled my eyes. "I'm helping her," he defended himself with wide innocent eyes when Esme gave him a glare.

"Yeah, he's such a great help. Insulting me and my cooking skills," I shot back and took a step back as he made a move to grab me. Ass.

"I didn't insult you," Edward whined, giving me a wicked grin. "I'm really trying to help here."

"Okay, Mom. The soup is cooking and the chicken is ready. All that's left are salad and mashed potatoes. Then, everything will be ready," I said calmly, ignoring Edward.

"Allright. Just don't burn my kitchen," Mom said, eyeing her kitchen as Esme dragged her to the living room. Lizzy gave me and her brother a big smile and went after them. She was extremely cute.

I took a deep breath and calmly grabbed the wooden spoon. I needed to be calm. Edward's presence was already enough for me to go crazy and he was being extra playful tonight. I just needed to act like he didn't annoy me and I needed to stop thinking about pushing him against the fridge and kissing him. Everything was going to be allright.

"Hey, I'm sorry. Don't sulk, Bella," he said, poking my side and making me sigh loudly.

"No, you're not sorry. You like torturing me."

He liked torturing me. For some reason, he liked to see me squirm, blush and embarrass myself. Driving me crazy was his latest hobby. My anger was his joy. Sometimes, I thought he hated me.

"No, I swear I am sorry. Let me help you." He grabbed a tomato and a knife and started slicing it. "I can make a salad and you can mash the potatoes. Chicken smells great."

"I'm shocked that you have some nice things to say. Thank you," I grumbled, giving him a grin and he rolled his eyes.

"No need to thank me. I'm cool like that," he muttered and I snorted.

"Yeah, right. You're an ass and my soup is going to be amazing."

He let out a loud laugh and I couldn't help but join him. He could be such a jerk sometimes, but in the end he always showed his true colors, and his true colors were beautiful. He was an amazing person. A really handsome, lovely, thoughtful person. Peeking at him from the corner of my eye, I sighed stupidly, smiling to myself.

The talk we had at Alice's balcony changed my whole life. It changed everything between me and Edward. During the last winter break, we built our friendship once again. It was a slow and awkward process, but it was worth it. We spent time together whenever we could and I learned so many things about him. The more I got to know him, the more I loved him. He was not perfect. He could be a pain in the ass. He could be whiny and stubborn as hell sometimes, but he was a good person. In the end, it was all that mattered.

Surprisingly, our friendship only got stronger when I was in Seattle and he was in Chicago. He admitted that he didn't have any real friends in Chicago and that made him understand the value of his real friends. He said I was one of his real friends. It felt good when he said things like that, but it also hurt to know that I was only a friend to him. Well, it was better than not having him in my life at all, so I couldn't complain.

"Are we going to Rose's party after dinner?" He suddenly asked, turning towards me. "I'd rather stay here and watch TV, but it's your decision in the end."

Emmett was in Port Angeles to visit Rose and they were having a party tonight at her house. Staying here with Edward sounded great, but I knew we had to go. Even Alice and Jasper were going, so it would be weird if I skipped it. Rose was already pissed at me, claiming that I spent more time with Edward and I didn't want to hurt her feelings further. The reason of Edward's reluctance was different though.

"Edward," I mumbled, shaking my head. "It would be rude if we didn't go."

"Why would it be rude? She has Emmett, Alice and Jasper going. And that dork, Peter is going to be there," he hissed, grabbing another tomato.

"God, you're so immature," I sighed in irritation. "What did the guy ever do to you?" It wasn't the first time we were talking about this, and it was irritating.

"Are you actually defending him?" He asked, sounding genuinely hurt. God, what the hell was wrong with him?

"I'm not defending anyone. I'm just saying that you have no reason to dislike him. He did nothing to you. Hell, you met him just a few days ago."

"I have plenty of reasons to hate him," he said, stressing the word hate. "First, he's an asshole and a snob. Second, he's so full of shit that it isn't even , he can't take a hint and leave you alone. I can't believe Jasper let that guy pursue you," he rushed out, his face flushed with anger.

"Pursue me? What the hell are you talking about? Peter is my friend. He doesn't need Jasper's permission to be my friend," I spat out, feeling my anger bubbling. He was being a prick once again.

"Yeah, a friend who keeps checking you out!" He nearly yelled as my mouth dropped open in shock. "Why do you think he is spending the winter break here with Jasper? It's because of you!"

Edward acting like this didn't make any sense. The moment he found out that Peter and I were friends and Peter asked me out more than once, Edward became this overly protective asshole. At first, I foolishly thought that it was endearing. Seeing him all pissed off and jealous was more than I could handle and I even stupidly thought that maybe he liked me. I waited for a sign. I waited for a word from him. I even asked him why he cared so much, pleading and hoping inside that he liked me, but he said he cared because I was his best friend. Yeah, best friend. As much as I wanted him to be, he wasn't my boyfriend. He had no claim on me.

Peter was actually a really good guy. It was Alice who introduced us and I liked him the second I met him. He was a musician and a really charming guy. He asked me out a few times and I was flattered. He really did wonders to my self esteem when I was feeling bad about myself. Between the school stress and my love for food, I gained a few pounds back. I tried to not let it bother me, but it was always in my head.

Anyway, I seriously considered saying yes to him, but I couldn't find it inside me. I knew I didn't like him that way and it would be awkward in the end. I already hurt Riley like this and I didn't want to hurt Peter as well.

"I think you're being absurd," I said as I started mashing the potatoes.

"I'm not being absurd and you know it, Bella. That guy is bad news and he keeps hitting on you. It's annoying," he said in a voice louder than neccessary and I cringed. My parents didn't need to hear this.

"He doesn't hit on me! Even if he does, it's none of your business." There, I said it.

"None of my business? He acts like he's some charming guy and you're falling for that crap!" He yelled, taking a step towards me. "I saw you two kissing last night."

"What?" I gasped as a cold feeling washed all over me. I felt… guilty. It was stupid, but it felt like I betrayed him. God, I really was an idiot.

"Yes, I saw you. You were standing on Rose's back yard and he was all over you. How can you let him?" He asked with furious eyes and that was all I needed to compose myself. How could he question me like this?

"Edward, it is none of your freaking business," I shrieked, taking a step towards him. "I know what I'm doing. I don't need you to protect me."

"God, you're acting like a love sick fool!" He breathed out, grabbing my arms.

Love sick fool? I wanted to laugh. I really wanted to laugh. He was delusional. Yes, I was a love sick fool, but it was Edward whom I was in love with. It was tragic that we were having this argument right now. It was hysterical that he didn't have a clue about what he meant to me. All of this Peter drama was finally taking its tool on me and I felt myself crack, letting out a bark of laughter.

"Love sick fool? God, you're delusional, Edward. I don't love him. I don't even like him," I said, laughing and shaking my head.

"You seemed like you were really into him that night," he countered stubbornly and I wanted to smack him.

I wasn't into it even though I really wanted to be into it. It would be much easier for me if I felt something when Peter kissed me. That was the only reason I didn't move or push him back when he leaned down to kiss me. I thought that maybe I could move on. However, I felt nothing. It was nothing.

"God, Edward, why are you being such a jerk?. That kiss was nothing and I don't love him, okay? It's stupid. Can we stop talking about this?" I asked, poking his stomach with my finger and he grabbed my hand.

"I'm just worried about you," he said, looking at the floor and shaking his head. "He's not what he seems like. I can feel it. He's a know it all asshole. He will hurt you," he said, looking so sincere that I had to swallow the snarky response I wanted to give to him.

"No, he won't because I won't give him a chance. I feel nothing for him. It was just a kiss and it felt nothing," I mumbled, suddenly feeling incredibly shy and tired.

"Good," he said with satisfaction and grinned widely when I glared at him. "You're my best deserve the best," he whispered, smiling and pulling me towars him and all my anger and irritation with him was gone in a second. "You're special and the guy who will be with you is really lucky."

I wanted to tell him that I wanted that guy to be him, but I kept my silence as his arms embraced me. We stood together, hugging in the middle of the kitchen as I inhaled his scent. I was greedy when it came to him. I took what he offered without thinking about the hurt I would feel later. God, I knew I would cry myself to sleep thinking about his arms around me this night, but right now it felt too good to let go. He was the first one to break the embrace and I barely stop myself from clinging to him.

"Okay, now go back to slicing those vegetables," I mumbled as he put his hands on my cheeks. I knew I was blushing furiously and his hands on my cheeks didn't help it, either.

"Yeah, I'm your willing slave," he joked and dropped his hands, not having any idea what his words did to me.

Dinner was great and everyone liked my soup, including Edward. We ended up going to Rose's house for the pary after dinner. Peter didn't say more than a few words to me, but Edward didn't leave my side for one second and kept glaring at him. We spent most of the night sitting together and laughing, not even paying attention to what others were doing. It was a beautiful night.

"He is my best friend. Nothing more," I mumbled when Rose she asked me what was going on between me and Edward. I tried to hide my grimace, but she saw it. I hated that we were just friends and I knew that she knew it.

"Yeah, right," she snorted, rolling her eyes. "He nearly choked Peter to death when he offered you a soda. That's not just friendly."

I ignored what she was saying and tried to calm my hopeful heart. Hoping was wrong. It would only hurt me. In Edward's eyes, I was just his best friend. His friendship was all I could have and I was okay with it. Expecting something more would only cause me pain, so I just ignored Rose. I was okay with this. I was satisfied.

However, my heart wasn't.

* * *

><p>Hi, everyone!<p>

I'm so sorry that I made you wait this long, but my real life kind of sucks right now. Please forgive me and read this chapter. Oh, and can you please leave a review? :) Thank you!

This chapter is dedicated to my beautiful friend, Maria. I'm so so so sorry for forgetting her birthday once again even if she says it's okay. I started writing this story for myself, but now I'm writing it for her as well. Love u, Maria!:) (I'm feeling really emotional right now.)

Okay, that's it. Thank you for reading and reviewing this story!

Have a nice weekend!:)

E.


	9. Chapter 9

**IMPORTANT: This chapter isn't edited and I'm sure it has some mistakes. Please tell me if it's too bad.**

**I don't own Twilight and I don't own Emma. I just love them:)**

* * *

><p><strong>Seven Years<strong>

**December, 2010**

I hated mornings like this with a passion. Even before I opened my eyes, I could feel the extreme pain spreading to my body, and my head was throbbing. Forcing my eyes open, I looked at my phone and saw that I had four missed calls from Rose. Well, she could wait for now.

"Bella, come on. Wake up," I heard Mom yell before she entered my room. Why did she have to yell? She was just outside of my room.

"I'm up," I mumbled as the pain got worse with each second.

"It's nearly eleven thirty," Mom said, but stopped her bickering when she saw the state I was in. "Are you okay?"

"My period started yesterday night," I groaned, trying to sit up on my bed.

"Maybe, you shouldn't go today. I'm sure Rose will understand," Mom stated as she helped me sit down. She knew that the cramps would make me whine and cry all day long. She also knew I had the full potential to turn into a cranky bitch when I had my period. Well, I was already in a foul mood, but I had no intention to do something to piss Rose off. She could be a mean bitch as well. No, thanks.

"Mom, are you kidding?" I snapped, rolling my eyes. "Rose would kill me. She has been talking about this non stop for the last few days."

"Okay, calm down," she said, stroking my hair. "I'm going to go and prepare something to eat. Do you want anything special?"

"No, just a bottle ofpainkillers," I whined, looking at her with wide, sad eyes, but she was already exiting my room. "Mom!"

"You need to eat first, Bella. Take a shower and come downstairs. You will be alright, honey."

With a sigh, I dragged myself out of my warm bed and took the shortest shower of my life. I wasn't in the mood to pamper my hair with scented conditioners when I felt like I was about to collapse on the floor. Putting on some underwear and finding a sweater, I sat down on my bed, yawning. Just as I was about to close my eyes, I heard a knock and then Edward's voice.

"Can I come in, Bella?"

"Wait!"

Jumping on my feet, I hastily put on my jeans and then the sweater. He was the last person I wanted to see in the state I was in, but I knew he would pester me to no end if I said no. After I was decent, I tried to comb my wet hair a little, but gave up when it hurt. I should have used that conditioner.

"Come in," I yelled and sat down on my bed as he entered and closed the door behind him.

"Renee says you're sick," he stated, looking at me from head to toe.

"I'm not," I stated calmly, but he kept frowning at me and his frown only got deeper when I winced and grabbed my sides. Damn cramps!

"Do you have a stomachache? You look really pale. Maybe, we should go to a hospital."

I knew he was being thoughtful and it was kind of sweet that he seemed to be worried for me, but hearing him say I looked pale made me see red for a second. Really? Was that an appropriate comment to make? Well, it wasn't a good thing to hear in the morning. And, I was always pale!

"Well, thank you. I just woke up, asshole. Oh, and, I happen to have a fair skin," I snapped as he sat down beside me and put his hand on my forehead. "What the hell are you doing, Edward?" I asked, pushing his hand away.

"God, chill out. I'm just worried. I didn't mean it as an insult," he mumbled sheepishly and I felt my lips twitching into a smile. I was freaking insane.

"Oh, Edward, don't pout!" I said, poking his cheek. "Okay, I feel horrible and moody. I'm sorry I snapped at you." Gathering some of my courage, I kissed his cheek and then stood up. "I'll be ready in a few minutes."

"Maybe, you should call Rose and-"

"Are you out of your mind?" I asked, grabbing my make up bag.

"Yeah, that's a bad idea. She texted me three times this morning," he said in a bored tone and I giggled. "It's annoying."

"I know."

Well, Rose and Emmett had just moved into an apartment a few weeks ago and we were all invited to their house today. Actually, I had already been in their house as I had helped them unpack, but she was insistent about today. Well, kind of crazy insistent. Yeah, I was eager, but it started to be annoying after the tenth time she called me yesterday. Anyway, I hadn't seen Alice and Jasper ever since I graduated a few months ago and I really, really missed Alice.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked in horror as I was applying some foundation to my face.

"A chemical experiment. What does it look like I'm doing? I'm putting on foundation," I said, laughing at his sour expression. He didn't look pleased and that made me feel pleased. "You were the one who said I looked pale."

"God, don't put that stuff on. It covers your freckles. It's hideous. You look pretty when you're all free of that stuff," he said in one breath and then shook his head as if he was confused. Well, he confused me.

"It's not hideous, Edward. Do you know how much I paid for this?" I shot back, showing him my foundation bottle.

"I don't know about how much that shit costs. All I know is that you don't need that," he muttered and grabbed a book from my nightstand. "Still reading this?"

It was obvious that he was trying to change the subject and I let him for once. For some strange reason, he hated it whenever I put on make up and he felt like he had the right to point it out. It may sound ridiculous, but we had so many arguments over it in the past few months. It wasn't like I wore a lot of make up anyway and I wasn't going to let him get between me and my make up bag. I loved Edward, but I also loved my make up bag.

"Don't even say anything," I warned him as I discreetly wiped some of the foundation from my face. Yeah, I knew I was a fool for him, but, hey, I liked my freckles.

"How many times did you read this?" He asked, sounding amused.

"Edward!"

"What? I don't know why you like this so much. Reading this was a torture and I only finished it because I promised you. The main character is annoying and meddling," he said, flipping through the pages and causing my temper to flare once again. Well, he just awakened cranky Bella and now he had to deal with her.

"She's endearing, not meddling. Yes, she's arrogant and sometimes ridiculous, but she's a great, good hearted person," I countered back, glaring him. "You have no taste in books."

"Emma Woodhouse is not endearing, Bella. She uses people to entertain herself," he shot back.

"She's a lovely girl and Mr. Knightley is dreamy man. I won't discuss this with you," I said and took a deep breath to calm down.

"Typical girl response," he sang annoyingly and put my book on my nightstand table.

Just as I was about to open my mouth to give him a good response, he started chuckling and shaking his head.

"Why are you laughing? You just insulted my favorite book. You should feel ashamed," I muttered grumpily.

"I can't believe we're arguing about a fictional character, Bella. Can you remember how many times you snapped at me to defend the honor of Emma?"

"Well, it's kind of funny when you put it that way, but I still don't like the way you see Emma," I said as he only laughed harder.

Whatever.

After a brief breakfast that my mother practically forced down my throat and a much needed painkiller**,** Edward drove us to a mall so that we could buy something to bring to Rose's house. Arguing over what to pick up for nearly ten minutes, we finally decided to buy a chocolate cheesecake and a beautiful vase along with some flowers. I spotted her while we were waiting to pay for our purchases.

Tanya Denali.

She looked exactly the same with her flowing blonde hair and beautiful, spotless face. The way she carried herself, her clothes, her lipgloss… Everything was the same. Except for one thing.

"Is she pregnant?" Edward whispered to my ear when he saw me looking at her as well.

"Yeah, she definitely seems pregnant," I murmured and that was when she noticed our presence. Instead of stopping to say hello, she quickened her steps and she was out of the store in a few seconds. Why would she stop anyway? What would she say? There was nothing to say or to do after everything she did behind my back.

"Well, that was weird," Edward said as we walked towards his car. "Why are you sulking?"

"I am not," I replied and gave him a fake smile.

To be honest, seeing Tanya made me feel horrible. I didn't feel nostalgic, hurt or angry. No, I felt nothing towards her. However, seeing her made me remember my high school days and remembering about those days made me feel like shit, because I was still the same Bella. No progress. I graduated from college, but I didn't have a full time job. I was still in love with the same guy. I still had weight problems. I was still living with my parents. No progress, at all.

"You're the worst liar ever," Edward said and grabbed my hand. "Whatever you're thinking about, stop it. Don't let Tanya ruin your day."

"Okay," I said, but the thoughts didn't leave my mind until we reached Rose's place. What greeted me there was enough to make me forget everything for a while.

"Oh, my God! Sam!" I yelled as I jumped into his arms. It had been five months since I last saw him. Five long months!

"Surprise! I'm sorry I couldn't be here on your birthday," Sam said, hugging me.

"Oh, I don't mind. I'm glad you're here now. How long are you staying?"

"As long as he wants to," Rose intervened before Sam could answer. "Come on, everyone. Lunch is ready and I'm starving."

I found out that Sam and Rose planned this visit a few days ago and that was why Rose kept insisting that I should come. I was so glad that I didn't skip now and Rose suddenly didn't seem so annoying. For the next few hours, life was perfect.

All through the lunch, I grilled Sam about his life and found out that he finally enrolled that fashion school he had always wanted to attend. He even had a new boyfriend and I was happy for him. He deserved a nice guy after all the Jake fiasco. He moved on and he was happy. God, I wished I could do the same, but with Edward right by my side, there was no way to move on. He was everywhere and,I wasn't complaining. Most of the time. When he asked me about my life, all I could do was shrug and try to seem content.

"I'm working part time in a kindergarten. It's fun."

"That's nice. You like kids," Sam said, smiling but he knew I wanted more than that. I wanted to be an English teacher, but I had no luck finding a teaching job yet. I didn't give up though. I was going to find one.

"Yeah, it's nice. A friend of Mom's found it for me. It's only temporary."

"I'm sure you'll find something amazing. Don't worry," Edward said, giving me a big, cheesy smile and patting my back. "At least, you graduated."

"You only have a few months left, Edward. Don't be a drama queen," I joked, rolling my eyes playfully.

"Well, I learned from the best," he said, gesturing to me and everyone laughed.

"What?" I gasped in mock anger and he suddenly stopped laughing.

"I didn't… I was joking, Bella," he rushed out, looking worried that I was about to get all bitchy on him once again.

"Good," I said and started snickering as he let out a breath.

"You're evil. Anyway, you're feeling okay now, right?"

"Yeah," I answered, giving him a bright smile.

As soon as we were done eating, guys rushed out to look at the new car Jasper bought, leaving the dirty dishes and the messy kitchen to us.

"I'm so going to make Emmett pay for that," Rose mumbled as we were cleaning the kitchen.

"It's all Jasper's fault. The car-" Alice said, but I spoke before she could finish.

"Guess who we saw today?" I asked while drying the plates that Alice washed.

"Who?"

I knew Rose would love my answer.

"Tanya."

"Really?" She shrieked with an evil smirk on her face. She hated Tanya with a passion, and I guess Tanya kind of deserved it. "Did you guys talk?"

"No, she just turned her head and continued to walk," I said as Rose started laughing. "She's pregnant by the way."

"Why am I not surprised?" Rose asked, shaking her head. "I hope she's miserable."

"Rose!" I gasped, giving her a pointed look. As much as I disliked Tanya for what she had done, I didn't want her to be miserable. It was all back in high school and I didn't want to think about it.

"Are you actually feeling sorry for her? After everything she did? She told Edward how you felt about him, remember? She told him to not to go to the prom with you," Rose whispered harshly as my eyes widened in the hell was she doing? Alice was right next to us!

There was a few moments of silence filled with tension before Alice spoke.

"How you felt… What?" she stuttered, looking first at me and then Rose. "What's going on?"

Rose opened her mouth to say something, but I was already walking away. "Rose, thank you," I whispered to her and flew out of the kitchen.

Rose knew I wanted to keep this thing from Alice, yet she was the one talking about it carelessly while Alice was right next to us. Alice was his cousin, for God's sake. She was going to think I was a miserable, pathetic girl for loving her cousin when he didn't even notice me. Then, she would tell Jasper and Edward. God…

"What's wrong, Bella?" Sam asked as I walked past the living room. "Bella, hey?"

"I don't want to talk right now," I said and dived inside the bathroom only to see a shirtless Edward standing in front of the mirror.

"What the hell?" I yelled as my face flushed and my heart beat like crazy. "Why are you half naked? Weren't you supposed to be outside?" I knew I was rambling like an idiot, but he was so distracting right now that my brain stopped working. I had to do something to stop myself from gawking at his chest, so I just… talked.

"I fell," he said, shrugging and gesturing to the dark blue shirt which had mud stains on it. "Emmett gave me a shirt to change into."

"You fell?" I asked, shocked.

"Well, it was kind of Emmett who shoved me, but, yes, I fell. You can laugh, Bella," he said, smirking and bumping me with his shoulder. His naked shoulder. God, I needed to focus. Also, there was nothing funny about him falling and being half naked right now.

"It's not funny. Are you hurt?" I asked, scanning his torso for any injury, but all I could see was perfection. I was being cheesy.

"No, I'm good. I hit my right arm, but it's okay," he said, raising his arm a little. It looked like it would form into a nasty bruise.

"You should put some ice on it," I mumbled as my hands itched to just grab his arm.

"Oh, yeah," he said, putting on the shirt Emmett gave him. "I'm going to go ask Rose."

"Okay, then. Well, I'm going now as well," I muttered awkwardly as he exited the bathroom. Leaning on the bathroom wall, I let out a huge sigh. I was so hopeless. Suddenly, the door opened and Alice entered the bathroom.

"I always knew there was something going on between you two," she said, giving me a smile.

"What are you talking about? Nothing's going on," I said as my heart beat like crazy in my chest. God, today was weird.

"You know, I'm kind of offended that you're still trying to keep it from me. I know you have feelings for him and he's not indifferent. I just never asked you about them," she whispered, grabbing my hand and pulling me in for a hug. "You're my friend, Bella."

"I know, Alice," I choked out. " I guess I was… I am… embarrassed."

"Why would you be?" she asked, sounding really surprised. "Loving someone isn't something to be embarrassed about."

"It is embarrassing when he doesn't even see you. Everyone who knows about it thinks I'm some pathetic, clingy girl who can't accept the rejection and move on," I babbled, trying to keep the tears at bay, but they were coming fast.

"Excuse me, but the rejection? Are we talking about the same guy here?" Alice asked, sounding shocked.

"Alice," I sighed, wishing I could evaporate at this second. "I know he doesn't see me-"

"He's just a stupid asshole who can't even realise his own feelings, Bella. Do you know how many times he brought up your name during dinner last night? Six times. And we weren't even talking about anything related to you," Alice rushed out in one breath, waving her hands around.

"That doesn't mean he-"

"He is crazy about you. He can't stop talking about you for one second. His phone is full of your pictures. He flies here whenever he can. God, he spent nearly half of the last semester in Seattle. He failed four of his classes. Four, Bella! Have you wondered why he was here instead of Chicago?"

"He said he was bored and he missed his family," I managed to get out in my shocked state.

"Yeah, right," she snorted. "He never felt the need to make such extended visits when you weren't talking to him. God, I can't even remember how many times he asked you if you were allright in the last thirty minutes," Alice whispered fiercely.

"Alice, I can't… I don't want to hope."

"You don't have to hope. You can do something about it. Are you going to stay as his best friend? Will that be enough?" Alice asked, her eyes wide and excited.

"It… has to be enough," I answered, swallowing. "I can't risk-"

"God, you two are both stupid. Keep dancing around each other, okay?" She groaned, shaking her head. "I'm going inside now because we're leaving in five minutes. Don't think we're done though. We need to talk."

"Okay," I muttered in defeat and we left the bathroom. I didn't need to talk to her to prove my point. She would see in time that Edward wasn't interested in me like that.

"Hey, where were you? Are you alright, Bella?" Edward asked as soon as we entered the living room, causing Alice to bark out a laugh.

"God, this so hilarious," Alice said between her snickers. "Jasper, darling, we should go before I slap someone. Bye."

"What's wrong with her?" Edward wondered out loud as Alice dragged Jasper out of the house.

"I don't know," I mumbled, not being able to look at him right now. I hated it, but Alice's words affected me more than they should and I had a lot to think about. I had to protect myself. A few minutes later, a shy and sad looking Rose came and sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, kissing my cheek. "I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay. I know Alice won't tell anyone," I said, giving her a smile and actually meaning it. I wasn't angry. I was just confused. I knew everything was okay for now though.

The rest of the day passed in a blur and by the end of the day, I was actually hopeful that Alice would drop this issue and we would never have to talk about this again. I couldn't bear the thought of losing Edward's friendship again. Alice was reading too much into his actions, anyway. I was sure. However, she was also the reason I started to hope again. During the following weeks, I couldn't stop thinking about what she said and it was driving me crazy. Because of her encouraging words, a tiny part of my heart started to feel some hope without even thinking about the consequences.

I was stupid and clueless.

I didn't know I would be crushed in the end.

* * *

><p>Hi, everyone!<p>

I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed last chapter. Your reviews mean a lot to me!:) Can you please leave a review for this one?:)

I know it's not related to this story, but I will finally see Cosmopolis this Tuesday! I'm sooo excited. Okay, that's enough:))

Have a great weekend!

E.


	10. Chapter 10

**IMPORTANT: This** **chapter isn't edited. I'm sure it has many, many mistakes. Please tell me if it's too bad. **

* * *

><p>Seven Years<p>

December, 2011

My heels clicked against the slippery pavement as I rushed through the crowded street, trying not to fall down on my ass. He had practically begged me on the phone not to be late this time, and I promised him. I was already ten minutes late though. He would be pissed and bicker all day. Well, as long as he smiled in between, I could handle his bitchy mood. I missed him too much to mind.

Running inside to the movie theatre as much as I could in my high heeled boots, I instantly spotted him standing in the corner with a scowl on his face. It had been nearly three months since I last saw him, and the sight of him in front of me brought tears to my eyes. Wiping my eyes furiously with my hands, I tried to calm down my over excited heart. He could not see me in this state, with a bright red face and misty eyes. I needed to stay cool and calm. He liked cool Bella. I loved him.

When I was calm enough, I walked towards him and he raised his head, putting his phone in his pocket. He tried to continue to scowl when he saw me, but I could see his mouth twitching, and I gave him a big smile. He rolled his eyes at my goofy expression and sighed loudly when I reached his side.

"What's your excuse this time, Swan? Ten minutes late," he said, pointing to his watch.

I looked down and closed my eyes for a second to just to revel in his voice. It was one of the things I loved the most about him, and it had been a long time since I heard it.

"It's raining," I mumbled weakly as I tilted my face up to his and opened my eyes to absorb his beautiful face. No matter how many times I saw his face, it always had the same effect on me. Something shifted in my chest and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him. Instead I made a move to hug him, and I closed my eyes once more when he responded, wrapping his arms around me.

"And?" he prodded, raising one of his eyebrows when I took a step back. I was always the one to break the embraces. I didn't want to get lost in the moment. The more I let myself be lost in him, the more it hurt later.

"Okay, I got caught up in reading. That's why I'm late. I'm sorry, Edward," I lied as he laughed.

I didn't get caught up in reading. Ever since he texted me this morning, I was in my room, fretting over what to wear. It was pitiful actually. I did it every single time. I would get frustrated over my look even if he had never noticed what I wore or what I did to my hair. Those past experiences didn't deter me from wearing the black jeans that Alice claimed made my butt and hips look thinner though and from wearing a pretty cream colored blouse. I was desperate for him to notice that I lost a few pounds since the last time we had seen each other.

"Since you're late, I get to pick the movie," he said, grabbing my elbow and pulling me towards the movie posters.

"No way," I argued, trying to ignore the tingly feeling in my arm.

"I'm choosing," he told me as he looked at me with his big green eyes and I sighed in defeat. I would tease and talk, but in the end I would see the movie he wanted to see. I had no willpower when it came to him.

"No, you're not," I said nonetheless, poking his arm. "I want to see this," I said, stopping in front of a romantic comedy's cheesy poster.

"No," he groaned, shaking his head and fiddling with his phone. I didn't even notice it was in his hands. He seemed so absorbed in whatever he was doing and that it irked me. I hated not knowing what was going on in his life.

"Come on," I whined, trying to get his attention back. "It looks horrible and that's why we should see it. We'll laugh."

"I've already seen it," he mumbled distractedly, not looking from his phone.

"You're lying," I sang, knowing pretty well that there was no way he saw that movie.

"I'm not lying," he said, laughing as he put his phone back in his pocket. "It's awful. Trust me, even you wouldn't stand it."

"Why would you even see that?" I asked, laughing along with him. "Was that a dare or something?"

"No, my girlfriend wanted to see it."

With that sentence, it was like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water all over me. One second my whole body was freezing as if I was outside on a snowy day, and then a second later a strange warmth was surrounding me, striking my chest, stabbing it. I was in pain.

A girlfriend.

Taking a deep breath, I steadily walked to the other side of the large hall and stood in front of some posters, making a show of reading one so that he couldn't see the tears that were spilling from my eyes. I was on the verge of breaking down and I couldn't even do it now. It would be so stupid if I just left him there to run home. I was also angry at him. Seven years, I loved him, and he still didn't even see me.

I heard him approach to me and wiped my cheeks. Even if I was dying inside, I would not let him see me cry.

"Okay, we can go see another movie. You choose," I managed to say in a weird breathy, whiny voice and I wanted to sob when I saw he was still not paying attention to me. I also wanted to rip that stupid phone from his hands and toss it on the floor.

"Let's go get tickets," he said, not having even the slightest idea about the state I was in. It never hurt me this much to see him that oblivious towards my feelings. I never wanted to shout at him that I loved him so much either.

I finally managed to look at his face as we were waiting to buy our tickets. He had an amused look on his face as he checked his phone and I finally snapped.

"Who's she?" I asked, not minding that nearly barked the question. "What's her name? When did you meet?" I was dreading the answers but I also wanted to know.

"Her name is Kate. I've known her for a couple of months, but it's been only a week since we started dating. Seven days," he said, smiling from ear to ear and looking genuinely happy.

It never hurt that much to fake a smile, and believe me, I was used to fake smiles.

Seven years. It had been seven years since I saw him in that hallway and fell for him. Seven long years that passed with longing, hurt, hope…

Hope. I was stupid to hope. It didn't matter to him that I loved him. It didn't matter to him that I made a fool out of myself all those years to catch a glimpse of him. He was already smiling over some girl he had only dated for seven days. My last hope vanished.

I had nothing to hold onto anymore.

It suddenly seemed so stupid that I spent all those years going crazy for him while I meant nothing to him. I was so stupid, plain stupid. There was no other way to explain it. The fact that he was the only person in my heart for the last seven years meant nothing to him and the fact that I loved him despite knowing this made me the biggest idiot ever.

As much as I would like to go home and cry while listening to _Adele_, Edward was right beside me and looking at me with a weird expression on his face. Maybe, I was the one with the weird expression. I didn't know. All I knew was that I was about to snap and I needed to stay calm and collected.

"Why are you sulking?" He asked, grabbing my shoulder and shaking me playfully. I wanted to punch his face. I had never felt this angry towards him.

"I'm not sulking," I said in a calm voice and took a deep breath to calm down. "Just tired."

It actually wasn't a lie that I was tired since I had just moved out of my parents' house. The last couple of weeks were filled with packing up and buying furniture and I was stressed and tired as hell. God, I had been tired ever since I started working as an English teacher this September. This year was demanding and hard, and I could do was try my hardest to not to fail.

"I can't wait to see your place. Mom says it's amazing. You're going to cook for me, right?" He asked, throwing his arm around me and giving me a big smile. Jerk!

Resentment and anger hit me so strongly that I felt my eyes fill with tears once again. Was I going to cook for him? Was he for real? Couldn't he see the state I was in? I was dying inside. I was furious. I could barely stand next to him.

"I can't. Not today," I said, looking at everywhere but him. "I'm really tired, Edward. " I was tired of him. I was tired of myself. I was tired of this situation. Sick and tired.

"Okay, but I'm not staying long this time," he mumbled. "I have to go back to Chicago in a few days."

"Oh, I know," I managed to get out while cursing at him inside. Of course, he had to go back to Chicago. "Anxious to go see your girlfriend," I muttered without even thinking. I wasn't even able to think at this moment.

"I actually have a job interview," he said, tugging my hair. "I told you about that."

I remembered. He was so excited about the idea of living and working in Chicago that he didn't even realise that my voice cracked when I told him how happy I was for him.

"Great. A great life in Chicago. That's great," I mumbled, giving him the fakest smile ever. I couldn't even care that he could tell something was going on with me. I was too tired of this pretending shit.

All through the movie, all I could think about was how to ditch Edward and go home. I wanted to go through my mysery alone. I wanted a good bottle of whine and sad music. I never wanted to see him again. I wanted to slap him and I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me. God, I wanted to be rational for once in my life and forget all about him.

"I have to go home," I blurted out as soon as the movie ended.

"I thought we were going to hang out. Something is going on. What's it?" Edward asked, sounding a little pissed. Oh, I was the pissed one. I hoped he would just let go because I didn't know what I would do if he insisted for me to stay. I would probably burst into tears and make a scene, yelling at him. Maybe, I was acting like a bitch for ditching him, but I had my reasons. Reasons he would never know.

"Sorry, Edward. I'll see you soon, okay?" I rushed out, grabbing my bag and scarf. I had to get out of here now.

"Why are you acting like this? Come on, Bella! I haven't seen you in months," he said, taking my bag out of my hands. "Why don't we go eat something and talk? Something's bothering you."

"No-"

"Bella, come on," he whined, grabbing my arm and looking at me with wide, green eyes. I wasn't going to fall for this though. I was in pain and being near him caused me more pain. I needed some time to compose myself.

"Edward, please," I begged, but he kept giving me that look.

"I'm hungry. Just come with me and eat something," he said, grabbing my hand and dragging me after him. "I want a pizza. You aren't on a diet again, right? Because it's ridiculous. Can we go to the bar Jasper works later? I told him we-"

"Edward, I want to go home!" I yelled and he turned to look at me, dropping my hand as if it burnt him.

"Why? Are you sick? Did I do something?" He asked, sounding genuinely clueless. It was funny how he had no idea that I was about to lose my mind.

"I want to be alone. I'm tired," I muttered, playing with my scarf. I couldn't look at his eyes.

"Okay,then," he mumbled, clearing his throat awkwardly."Okay, you go ahead and have some rest. I will call you later. Okay?"

"Okay. See you, Edward."

After a brief and awkward hug, I rushed outside and found a taxi. A few minutes later, I was finally at home, drenched and crying. In the silence of my one bedroom apartment, being alone started not to seem like such a good idea anymore. I was going crazy thinking about everything related to Edward. I was tired of thinking about the possibilities and analysing every move I made.

I wanted to call Alice and yell at her for all the bullshit she fed me during last year.

_Edward likes you Bella. He's just too stupid to see it. Can't you see how he looks at you, Bella? You have to do something about it Bella._

God, it was because of her and her encouraging words that I started to hope again in the first place. I was content with what I had with Edward before she found out and confused the hell out of me. No matter how many times I told her she was wrong, she kept telling me that I was being blind. She was the blind one.

I tried calling Rose when Alice didn't answer and burst into fresh tears when Rose answered.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, sounding panicked. "Are you hurt?"

"Yes, I am hurt! He crushed me! I hate him," I sobbed, clutching my pillow to my chest. "He just stood there and told me that he saw that freaking movie with his girlfriend!"

"What? What happened? Look, Emmett isn't in town and I have the car. Do you want me to come over?"she asked in a soothing voice and promised me she would be here in fifteen minutes when I started begging her to come.

Ten minutes later, Rose showed up and found me sniffing with a bottle of wine in my hands.

"What happened?" She asked, sounding horrified. I guess my state was enough to alert her that what happened was really big.

"I can't stand to just watch him anymore. It doesn't feel enough. It hurts so bad. He doesn't have a clue, Rose," I whimpered as Rose walked towards me. My eyes got caught on the diamond ring she was wearing and it was like a slap. She was living the life she deserved. She was happy, in love… What did I do to deserve this? "I don't deserve this. I'm tired."

"It's enough," she said forcefully. "You can't stand it anymore? Then, do something about it! Tell him or just move on, Bella. I'm sorry, but you really have to do something. I can't stand to see you like this anymore."

"I can't tell him," I whined loudly, sniffing and shaking my head.

"God!" Rose groaned, sitting next to me. "Then, please try to let go and move on. You have to do this for yourself, Bella. I can see how much this is hurting you. You know it's going nowhere. You know you're only hurting yourself."

"It's not easy to move on, Rose!" I yelled as I felt my face got hot. She didn't have a damn clue. She had everything. "You have everything! You have Emmett. You have a ring on your finger. A date for your wedding. It's easy for you to say move on," I continued, jumping to my feet. "I love him. I try so hard to just let go, but I can't. I can't make myself forget him. I tried, believe me, but it doesn't work. I'm so pathetic."

"You have everything too. You have great parents, a great job and great friends. You're a beautiful girl. You're a kind person. You know how to cook. You're intelligent. You're amazing. You're a catch, Bella. It's him who is pathetic if he can't see you for what you are," Rose said, grabbing my hand and pulling me sit down next to her. "Have you ever thought that maybe Alice is right? Maybe, you should tell him. I think it's the only way you can move on. With him or without him."

"Alice isn't right and I'm not doing anything she says. She's the one who fed me with all those bullshit in the first place. It's her who made me hope. I knew I shouldn't have listened to her," I muttered,feeling bitter. I wasn't angry with Alice. I knew she had the best intentions, but she was terribly wrong and I hated that she was wrong. "I will never tell him. I'm not that stupid."

I spent the rest of the day with Rose, driving her crazy with my foul mood. She was amazing, though. We watched TV and played some board games, and we acted like we didn't even know someone called Edward even though he called me three times. As much as that made me feel like an asshole, I didn't answer any of this calls. Hearing his voice right now would be too much.

By the time Rose left, it was nearly two in the morning and I was feeling a lot better about everything. I always knew I wouldn't end up with Edward, so his current girlfriend actually meant nothing. I needed to be much more controlled around him from now on. I needed to accept what was going to happen in a few years. It wasn't like he was going to stay single for the rest of his life. It wasn't like I was going to stay single. No, I swear I wasn't going to. Some things needed to change. I needed to change. I needed to move on. I was going to move on.

My phone rang as I was about to go to bed and I saw Edward's name on the screen. It was the fourth time he called in the last two hours. Sighing, I picked up my phone and answered.

"Thank God! Where the hell are you?" he asked, sounding really worried and I felt my eyes feel with tears. Why did he have to act like this? It would be a lot easier if he was a thoughtless jerk.

"I'm at home, Edward," I said, my voice cracking.

"Are you okay? You sound off," he said. "I'm in front of your building. Open the door."

"Why? What?" I asked, wiping my eyes furiously. "I said I'm okay. I promise I'm okay."

"Well, I drove all the way here when you didn't answer your phone. I was worried. Just open the door. I won't stay long."

"Okay," I said in defeat and went to open the door.

The sight of him waiting in front of my door in the cold did it for me and I felt tears leaking from my eyes. Cursing myself, I wiped them and motioned for him to come inside. The moment I closed the door, he grabbed me and crushed me to his chest. Wrapping my arms around him, I let the smell of him calm me down. This moment was an indulgence and I let myself to enjoy his warmth for just a few seconds.

"Okay, you're going to tell me what the hell is going on and I'm not taking no for an answer," he said, breaking our hug and grabbing my shoulders. "I've been worried sick. I couldn't sleep."

"Edward, don't do this," I whispered, averting my gaze.

"Don't do what?" he asked, sounding offended. "What is wrong? Tell me, damn it!"

"Nothing's wrong. You should go," I said, trying to sound calm, but failed miserably. "A lot have happened in the last few weeks. I'm feeling drained."

"I know. I can see you're tired, but I can also see something's bothering you. I know you, Bella. Just tell me. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong," he said, giving me a smug smile and causing my anger to rise.

"God, Edward! Why are you being this difficult?" I yelled, pushing his chest. "It's two in the morning and I want to go to sleep."

"It's you who is being difficult! I flew here all the way from Chicago just to see you! I was happy to see you! I wanted to hang out with you! I missed you! You just left me in the mall. Why? Why are you acting like a bitch?" He breathed out as his face got red with frustration. I knew we were about to have a big argument and I knew it was going to be nasty.

"Acting like a bitch?" I hissed, looking into his eyes with all the anger I could muster. "If I'm acting like a bitch, then you're acting like a jerk."

"You're being ridiculous," he sighed, sitting down and pulling me with him. "Come on. I don't want to fight. Just tell me what's wrong."

"God, Edward! Nothing's wrong," I whispered as my eyes found his eyes. I loved his eyes and it wasn't just because of their beautiful color. Yeah, they were pretty, but it was the way he looked at me that made me go crazy for them. The soft and vulnerable look he was giving me right now was the thing that cracked my resolve. One look from him and I was defeated. I had no will to fight anymore. I was too weak. Too pathetic. Too in love with him.

"Tell me what's wrong and I promise I'm going to help you," he whispered, brushing my hair back.

"You can't help me," I whimpered, shaking my head.

"Try me. I might surprise you," he said, giving me a smile as I rolled my eyes. He had no idea.

"I… I can't tell you, Edward. It's not important anyway," I lied, trying to keep it cool, but I was sure he could tell from my shaking hands and blushing cheeks that it was important.

"It makes you cry, so it's important. You know I can't stand to see you cry," he said, cupping my cheeks with his hands. "Just tell me."

I didn't know if it was the look in his eyes or the way he sounded when he pleaded me to tell him, but I found myself leaning toward him. A part of me knew that I was going to regret doing that later, but right now it felt like the most natural thing. It was like I had to do it. I had to do something. He was right in front of me, holding me and pleading and I couldn't stop now even if I tried. It was worth the risk.

The moment my lips found the corner of Edward's mouth, all of the rational thought left me and my crazy heart took control of my brain and senses. As I sat there with my lips pressed to his, a number of feelings washed over me. Joy, resentment, pain, hope… Shivers ran through my body and I closed my eyes to bask in the feeling. I felt his lips twitch under mine and that was the thing that woke me up.

"Bella," he mumbled and with that one word what I really did dawned on me. I practically attacked him. However, I couldn't find it inside me to care right now. I didn't know if it was the wine I drank with Rose or the emotionally tiring day, but I couldn't feel anything other than embarrassment right now. I knew I would regret it so much later though.

"I'm sorry," I managed to get out as his hands dropped from my cheeks. "I don't know why I did that. Sorry," I mumbled, looking everywhere but him. "Can you please leave me alone now?"

"Bella," he said, sounding weird. "I… what?"

"Can you please just go now?" I repeated, standing up on my shaky legs. "I feel awful right now. I need to be alone."

"But-"

God, why couldn't he just go?

"Edward, just leave me alone!" I shouted and dared to look at him for the first time since I kissed him. The confused and helpless look on his face made me wish I could just evaporate right now. It also made me realise that I ruined everything with just one peck. He would do what he did in high school. He would just stop being my friend. We were done. I knew it. I could feel my heavy heart breaking in my chest.

"Can we just-"

"No, we can't. I know what you're going to say. I know what you're going to do. You're going to do what you did in high school. Just leave," I pleaded and ran into my bedroom before he could open his mouth.

"Wait," he shouted as he followed me.

I didn't give him a second glance before I slammed my bedroom door to his face and locked it. Why did I do that? How could I be so stupid? Those questions kept running around my mind all through the night.

It was five in the morning when I heard him.

"I changed a lot, Bella. A lot. We aren't in high school anymore."

* * *

><p>Hi, everyone!<p>

First, I want to thank to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter! Your words mean a lot to me:)

Okay, we finally reached the prologue. You will see January, 2012 in next chapter and the story will continue in that time. Some of you asked for an EPOV chapter and the next chapter will be from his point of view:) Don't hate him.

Anyway, I found a job! It has been two years since I graduated and I finally found a job:) I'm excited and happy.

Please leave a review to make me happier:)

Have a great day!

E.


	11. Chapter 11

**IMPORTANT: This chapter isn't edited and I'm sure it has many, many mistakes. Please tell me if it's too bad.**

* * *

><p><strong>Seven Years<strong>

**January, 2012**

**EPOV**

"You're not coming," Alice said in a serious tone as she stood in front of me. "She's not ready to see you."

"I am coming, Alice. I am invited, for God's sake," I shot back as I tried to tame my hair. With my greasy hair and sunken eyes, I looked like shit, but I didn't care. I had much more important things to consider right now.

"Do you even care about her? She's going to be there and she doesn't want to see you. It's obvious, Edward. Give her some time to breathe," Alice went on, not having any idea how her words effected me. Everytime she reminded me that Bella didn't want to see me, my heart clenched painfully in my chest.

"I know she doesn't want to see me. No need to remind me," I sighed and sat down on the couch. "I need to see her, Alice. This thing is getting ridiculous and I need to talk to her. We can't avoid each other forever."

"This thing between you two has always been ridiculous," Alice said, rolling her eyes. "I tried talking to her, but she didn't even listen to me."

"I know, Alice, I know," I mumbled and gave her a smile as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "Thank you for everything."

"Oh, come on! Don't get all emotional on me now," she said, swatting my arm playfully. "I love you, Edward. I want you to be happy," she said, kissing my cheek. "But, I still think you shouldn't come to Rose's pary today. It's still too early to confront Bella."

"I am coming and that's it," I grumbled and stood up. She had been trying to change my mind ever since I arrived here a few hours ago and it started to become annoying.

"God! Wash your hair, then. It looks horrible," she said, shaking her head and pushing me towards her guestroom.

After giving Alice a huge hug and grabbing my towel from my suitcase, I rushed into the bathroom to take a quick shower. It had been three hours since I landed in Port Angeles and I smelled. I desperately needed a shower. After that, I needed to see her. Bella… There was no way I was letting her avoid me tonight. She did enough of that in the last month. It was time to talk, and we fucking needed to talk. I had so many things to say and she had to listen to me. I spent the last month thinking about everything and now was the time for talking. I was ready.

The night that she kissed me was the most horrible night of my existence and it had nothing to do with the kiss. It was nice. It felt nice even if it confused the hell out of me at first. What made that night horrible was the hate and dissappointment I felt towards myself. How could I not see it? Well, there were times I suspected that she saw me differently, but I never gave it much thought. She always stayed in the friend zone and I didn't want to assume anything after being so horrible to her in high school.

I spent that night, sitting in front of Bella's bedroom door and calling her name again and again. It was a suffocating, eye opening, confusing and long night. So long. I didn't know how long I sat there until Rose came barging in in the morning, telling me to fuck off. I had to leave and go home after she threatened to call the police. She could be very scary when she wanted to.

It had been nearly a month since that night at Bella's house and everything was somehow clearer to me now. Figuring some things out weren't easy, but I was on my way of doing that. Well, at least, I thought so. Alice had different ideas though. She thought it was too early for Bella to listen to what I had to say, but I didn't want to wait anymore. The last month was hell.

I had always had a soft spot for Bella. I still did. I knew I was probably the person who hurt her the most, but I never wanted to do that. Never. When I first saw her when we were in high school, I instantly recognised that she was a great person. It was written in her eyes. Her big, beautiful eyes. When we started hanging out, her personality drew me in as well. Losing her in high school was the worst thing I had ever done. I had acted like a selfish bastard and I never intended to do that again.

I had a different mentality right now and I was here to win Bella back. There was no other way, because I was not me when she wasn't with me. God, I knew I sounded like a pussy right now, but I couldn't find it inside me to care. I was tired and a little bit emotional. Well, really emotional. I just… needed her. It took me a month to realise how severe my need for her was.

I missed her happy eyes. Yeah, she had happy eyes. Always bright and shining. I missed the way she smiled at me whenever I said something cheesy or stupid. God, I missed holding her. I just missed being with her. She was important.

I always found her attractive. Why wouldn't I anyway? She was beautiful and had a gorgeous body. Hell, I might have thought about her in a really unfriendly way more than once, but I had always tried to restrain myself. I was stupid. It was wrong to lust after your best friend, right? I didn't care about right or wrong anymore. I couldn't deny it anymore.

There was always an urge inside me when it came to Bella. An urge to make everything better for her. An urge to be with her all the time. An urge to protect her. Make her smile. Make her laugh. There were times I couldn't go on without seeing her a month. There were times when I flew to Seattle three times in a month. Just because of her. Just because of my need to see her. I had thought it was because she was my best friend. Yeah, that was true. However, it was also because she was precious to me. I could see it now.

After Rose kicked me out of Bella's house that night, I couldn't get a hold on Bella. I went to her apartment two times and called her a million times, but she never answered. I could have felt better if she had just opened the door and punched me in the face. I had to go back to Chicago for my job interview and that was the only thing that made me leave Port Angeles. I was fucking miserable in Chicago, though. I couldn't get the job and I couldn't even care. All I could care about was talking to Bella.

And then there was Kate. I didn't have any feelings for her, so breaking up with her was easy. It was stupid of me to start dating her in the first place, anyway. We were good friends, but she didn't shy away from showing me how she felt about me. She kept asking me out relentlessly and it stroked my stupid ego. She was a beautiful girl and all of my friends pushed me towards her. I knew it wouldn't work and I even told her so, but she was adamant that we could make it work. Yeah, it didn't work. In the end, we ended up dating eleven days. We were okay now, though. She was already going out with Garrett, one of my good friends.

Everybody was moving on and having fun while I was miserable in that big city. The things that made me happy didn't matter when I couldn't call Bella and hear her voice. I thought about flying to Port Angeles more than once, but Alice kept telling me to be patient and wait. I couldn't wait. I was dying inside. I was confused, angry and bitter. I just wanted Bella back without all those complications.

Everything changed the night I hit rock bottom and drunk dialled Alice. I didn't remember what I said to her, but she showed up on my door step the following day. Well, she must have felt sorry for my ass. Alice spent the next two weeks in Chicago, helping me while I packed my shit up. There was no question left in my mind. I was moving back to Port Angeles. Alice also helped me about Bella. She made me think about the things that I kept pushing out of my mind and she had a way of making me see things differently.

"Edward!" Alice hollered, making me grin despite myself. She was like a sister to me. An annoying, but awesome sister. "What the hell are you doing there? We're going to be late!"

"I'm ready, Alice. Calm down," I replied, grabbing my jeans from my suitcase. I needed to find an apartment soon.

Buttoning my shirt, I walked into the living room only to see Jasper grinning cheekily at me.

"What?" I asked, frowning at him.

"Nothing. I have a feeling that tonight is going to be full of drama," he said, clapping his hands. He was spending too much time with Alice.

"Is that something to be happy about?" I asked, trying to sound calm, but my heart was going crazy with anticipation.

"Face it, Edward. It's a little funny. You both like each other, but you are both going to ignore each other and be miserable for a while and then give it a chance," Alice babbled as she slipped her shoes on. "You guys are so predictable."

"God, I didn't know we amuse you this much," I muttered, shaking my head. "I don't know what will happen. I just want her to listen to me."

"She will. I'm sure. You guys are meant for each other," Alice said, smiling and kissing my cheek.

It scared me shitless when Alice said stuff like that. It scared me because I could see that what she said was true. Bella was it for me. Why wouldn't she be? Why shouldn't we give it a try? All those years, we were right there for each other and all those years, she was the one for me even if I didn't realise it sooner. There was no other girl who made me feel like Bella did. There was no other girl for me. The things I had done for her… The things she had done for me… They weren't friendly. No, we weren't friends. Not even close. She was so much more than a friend to me. I hurt her so much without meaning to do so and she probably hated me right now, but I knew we could make it work. I wanted it to work. I wanted to try. God, I never wanted to try as much as I did right now.

"She probably hates me, Alice," I sighed, thinking about the texts I sent to Bella in the last few weeks. I didn't get any replies. Not one single word. It was horrible. I couldn't help but wonder if she had felt like during that prom debacle. It made me feel even worse.

"God, stop being a drama queen. She can never hate you, Edward. Come on! Yeah, she has every right to tell you to fuck off right now, but she will listen to you in the end. Tell her what you have been telling me in the last couple of weeks, and I'm sure she'll see what I see right now," Alice said in a soft voice. "Just be yourself and tell her how you feel. It will be okay."

Rose's house was already filled with people when we arrived there. She was throwing an engagement party even though it had been two months since she and Emmett got engaged. As much as I hated parties like this with a passion, I wasn't complaining now. I knew tonight was my only chance.

"Edward, honey! Where have you been? I haven't seen you in ages," I heard Renee shriek the moment I stepped foot inside the house. I gave her a big smile, hoping that her daughter would be this happy to see me as well.

"Hi, Renee. It's good to see you," I said, and made a move to hug her, but Bella appeared right next to her in that moment. The second our eyes met, my heart jumped painfully in my chest and I felt my mouth drop open. She was holding hands with a man. She was with a man.

"Shit," Alice whispered, but all I could do was stare at Bella like some idiot. I couldn't avert my gaze even if I wanted to. There was a lump in my throat and I felt my eyes burning. It was painful. Standing there and trying to breathe was fucking painful. What I felt was physical pain.

"Are you okay, honey?" Renee asked, sounding worried and I realised that I just stood there with my arms around her.

"Yeah," I managed to croak out, releasing her and shaking my head. "I'm good."

I was dying. I wanted to scream at Bella and punch that asshole. I wanted to grab Bella and go somewhere else. I wanted to cause a scene. I was tired of being a coward. I was done being a coward. It seemed like I already lost Bella and what I would do tonight wouldn't make it any worse. I had to try. I couldn't stop myself from trying. Who the hell was he anyway? He didn't have any right to hold her hand. She was mine.

Mine? My thoughts shocked the hell out of me. I wasn't one of those guys who saw their girlfriends as their possessions, but right now I wanted to pull Bella toward me and never let go. Did she feel like this when I dated Kate? Did she hurt this much? How the hell could I get rid of this lump in my throat? It burned. I was done staying away and burning. My vision was clear now and I wanted her to see what I see as well. I was going to make her trust me and then I was going to make her mine.

"You look a little tired, but good," Renee said, patting my cheek and smiling at me. "I'm going to find your mother. Lizzy is also here."

I couldn't even open my mouth to ask her what my mother was doing here. All I could do was stare at Bella as she kept looking at me too. The guy she was with cleared his throat awkwardly and I barely restrained myself from punching his big nose. Jackass.

"Edward, I swear I didn't know," Alice whispered, grabbing my arm as Rose appeared in the hallway.

"Alice, welcome!" She chirped, but her eyes widened in shock when she saw me. "Edward! I didn't know you were in Port Angeles."

"You invited me. Why are you so shocked?" I grumbled, looking at my shoes. Suddenly, I wanted to bolt out of the room and never come back.

"I'm glad you could make it. I just thought you were in Chicago," Rose said, trying to sound polite, but she sounded awkward.

"He came here this morning. He's actually really tired, so no offense if we leave early," Alice intervened, sounding nervous. It was obvious she didn't have any idea about the tool Bella was holding hands with and that made me feel better.

There was a few seconds of awkward silence before Alice dragged me in a room, mumbling something about finding Esme.

"God, what the hell is she doing? Why haven't anyone told me about this?" she gasped, pushing me to sit on the bed.

"I… Maybe, I should just go," I muttered. I didn't know why, but every part of my body felt heavy. I couldn't even breathe properly and I could feel my heart sinking in my chest. She wasn't going to listen to me. She was already with another man.

"Are you stupid?" Alice whispered fiercely, making me flinch. "Are you the same guy who spent the last month crying over Bella? Are you blind? God, you're both stupid."

"I don't know what to do, Alice," I hissed, swallowing hard. "I don't know what I'm going to say to her. She won't listen to me anyway."

"Tell her what you have been telling me," Alice said, sitting next to me. "Tell her that you can't stand the idea of being away from her. Tell her that you have feelings for her. Tell her that you think she has the most awesome ass ever."

"I don't think she will appreciate the last one," I mumbled as Alice giggled.

"Oh, I'm sure she won't mind that. She has a gorgeous ass and she needs to hear that. She doesn't see herself clearly."

God, I knew that. I never understood why she wanted to lose weight when she had such an amazing body. I tried telling her that, but she always dismissed it. I liked that she had curves. I liked that she looked like a real woman. I liked everything about her was beautiful both inside and out and she didn't need to change anything.

"I need to talk to her now," I sighed loudly as Alice started clapping.

"That's it. Go get her!"

Giving Alice a tight smile, I stood up on my shaky legs and took a deep breath.

"Do you think I should have shaved?" I asked Alice, scratching my beard.

"You look like a caveman, but I think she doesn't mind. Well, considering the way she was looking at you a few minutes ago, I'm sure she likes it."

Smiling more genuinely this time, I exited the room, leaving Alice behind. I found Bella in the living room and all of my breath left me when our eyes met. I tried to ignore the asshole who was sitting next to her, but I couldn't ignore the fury I was feeling. Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes for a second, I tried to calm myself. When I opened my eyes, I found Bella looking at me curiously.

"Hi, Bella," I managed to say and took a tentative step towards her. God, this was ridiculous!

"Umm, hi," she mumbled, blushing furiously. I missed her blush so fucking much.

"Can we talk?" I asked, shifting on my feet awkwardly.

"Oh," she said and blushed even more. God, she was going to kill me. "About what?"

I gave her a long look and she sighed, standing up. I started walking out of the room and she followed me. My heart was hammering in my chest, causing me to breathe heavily. God, what the hell was happening to me?

"How are you, Bella?" I asked lamely when we were alone in Rose's guest bedroom. It had been so long since we last talked and I didn't know what to say right now.

"Good," she said, giving me a shy look. "You?"

"Bella," I sighed. I wasn't here to play. "You know I'm not okay."

"Edward," she breathed, shaking her head. "I don't think we should-"

"Why didn't you answer any of my calls? I called you a thousand times! I went crazy, wondering that the hell you were doing," I yelled and she took a step back, causing me to finally lose it. "God, this is ridiculous," I said and grabbed her arms. "Don't run away from me."

"Don't yell at me!," she yelled, without even looking at me. "I have to move on. I have to run away from you. Can't you see that? Do you have to be this selfish?"

"Selfish?" I gasped, feeling like a piece of shit. "Do you think I am being selfish? I want you back. How is that selfish?" I knew she had a point, but I had to hear it.

"You know you're being selfish. Edward…" she murmured, taking a deep breath. "Edward, you know I don't see you as a friend, yet you're here trying to talk to me. You don't even think about how I feel. I just have to move on and I can't do that when you're in my life."

"Do you want me to just leave you?" I asked in shock. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I have to move on," she said in a small voice.

"Fuck moving on," I hissed. "You don't have to move on alone. We can move on together. I know we can do that. I want us to be more than friends," I said, trying to make her stay with me. I knew I was freaking her out right now, but I couldn't stop myself from saying those words.

"Edward, don't do this, please," she begged and I saw her eyes fill with tears. "You're just saying this because you haven't seen me in a month."

"Damn it!" I cursed, cupping her cheeks with my hands. "I'm an asshole. God, I'm a dick. I'm so sorry for everything. You have to believe me now, though. I'm not shitting."

"We-" she started again, but I was determined to say what I had to say first.

"I knew I hurt you so much, but I never meant to do that. You are one of the most important things in my life, Bella. I can't live without you and I'm not saying this to kiss your ass. I just can't go on without you."

"I can't be your friend, Edward. We have to put some distance between us. At least, for a while. It hurts," she said weakly as a tear fell from her eye.

"I don't want to be friends," I said once again, but I could see that she didn't believe me. Her eyes told me everything. "I want to try being more. I-"

"No," she interrupted, shaking her head furiously. "You don't want that."

"I want that," I said, grabbing her hand. "I thought-"

"Yeah, you thought! That is the problem. I didn't think or make plans to fell in love with you! I just fell in love with you! I didn't need to try. I don't want you to try to love me. I don't want you to force yourself to be with me," she said in one breath, taking a step back. "We can't do this, Edward."

"I'm not forcing myself to do anything. What are you talking about?" I gasped, desperate to make her see that I was being genuine.

"Edward, we've known each other for seven years and you are telling me that you want to try after that pathetic kiss," she said, giving me a sad smile. "Oh, and you have a girlfriend."

"I don't have a girlfriend," I said hastily, grabbing her hand tighter. "I broke up with Kate as soon as I went back to Chicago. I couldn't be with her when I all could think about was you."

"Why? You seemed so happy. Counting days and everything," she bit out, shaking her head.

"What?" I asked, not having any idea what she was talking about.

"It hurt, you know? It hurt that you smiled because of a girl you dated for seven days while I have been a fool for you for the last seven years."

"I… Bella…" I muttered, feeling like an idiot for not seeing what she felt. Hell, I could see sometimes. There were times that I suspected, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything about that. I thought it was better to stay as just friends after all of the shit she went through in high school because of me.

"I have to go inside now," she sighed, dropping my hands.

"We have to talk, Bella. I'm serious. You need to listen to me," I begged, grabbing her hands once again. I couldn't even care that I was being pathetic right now.

"Paul is waiting for me."

"He can go to hell," I snapped, pulling her closer. I couldn't stand to see her taking a step away from me.

"I really need to go," she said, pushing me once again and this was it for me.

"God damn it!" I growled and grabbed her arm. "Who the hell is Paul? Who the hell is Kate? Nobody! They don't mean a fucking thing! They don't mean shit and you know that! Why can't you give me a chance to talk?"

"I need to go because I mean something to Paul!" she hissed, making me see red.

"And you think you don't mean anything to me?" I asked calmly, but I was about to lose it.

"I know you don't see me the way I see you, Edward."

"You have no idea," I grumbled and pressed my lips to hers before she could say a word.

I was going to make her understand me.

It took her a few seconds, but soon she was kissing me back. It was enough for now. I wasn't letting her go. She was staying with me and that was it.

* * *

><p>Hiiiiiii! I'm back!<p>

I'm so sorry for making you wait this much, but I'm really busy. I started working and I rarely have time to write. Anyway, I want to thank to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. Your words mean a lot to me! Thanks:))

This is Edward's point of view. He may sound confusing or he may sound like a jerk. He will talk more soon. I promise he's not a jerk:) Please tell me what you think:)

Have a great day!

E.


	12. Chapter 12

**IMPORTANT: This chapter isn't edited and I am sure it has many mistakes. Please tell me if it is too bad.**

* * *

><p><strong>Seven Years<strong>

**January, 2012**

I was flying.

Boneless.

I was lost in the moment and I never wanted to be found. I didn't want this moment to end. I just wanted to stay like this for the rest of my life. Breathing his scent in as our lips moved together. Feeling his chest move under my hands as his hands stroked my hair and face. This was heaven.

Heaven and hell at the same time.

My body was tingling with heat, but I welcomed the burn since it meant that I was close to him even if for a few minutes. I was coherent enough to know that I would be more hurt at the end of this, but I couldn't stop myself from grabbing his shoulders and pulling him closer. I didn't have the will or the strenght to push him away. I only wanted to cheerish the moment when I had it.

I had kissed other men before Edward and I had enjoyed those kisses, but with Edward it was much more than that. It wasn't enjoyment or excitement that made me keep kissing him. No, it wasn't that simple. It was desire. Addiction. I was consumed. I just couldn't bring myself to step away from him. I had to relish this moment. I needed to stay close to him while he was with me. God, I missed him so much.

"Bella, I missed you," he whispered against my lips as if he read my mind and his warm breath hit my face, stunning me. God, I loved him. So much… How could I stay away from him? Was there a reason to stay away from him? My mind was blank and I couldn't think a single reason to push him away. All I could do was feel and he was everywhere right now. I was under his spell.

"I missed you, too," I mumbled without thinking as Edward made a move to kiss me again.

Just as our lips were about to touch again, someone cleared their throat awkwardly, making me jump back in shock. Pushing Edward away and turning around, I saw Emmett, hovering around the door and the sight of him was enough to make my brain work again.

"Emmett," I mumbled as my face heated with shame. Did he see us kissing? God, I was sure he saw us kissing!

"God, this is awkward," Emmett muttered, looking uncomfortable as hell. "Does Paul know this, Bella? Did you guys break up or something?"

"I… there is no need…" I started to babble and took a step towards Emmett. "I will talk to Paul. I'm sorry, Emmett."

It was Emmett who introduced me to Paul three weeks ago. After watching me suffer in silence at home for a week, Rose had enough and forced me to go out with them one night. I ended up going to a bar with Rose and Emmett and we bumped into Paul, who was an old friend of Emmett. Things progressed rather fast after that. Paul got my number and asked me out, and I jumped at the chance in an effort to take control of my own life. Paul was my boyfriend now.

The sad part was that I didn't even remember Paul's existence while Edward kissed me. I was actually really sorry. I was sorry that I did that to Paul. I was sorry that I couldn't forget Edward no matter what I did. God, why couldn't I have feelings for Paul? Why couldn't I just fall in love with him? He was a great guy. It made me feel like shit that I was able to cast him aside this easily. He didn't deserve this.

"Where do you think you are going?" Edward asked as his hand clasped around my wrist. "Stay with me."

"I need to go find Paul," I muttered, shaking my head.

Edward… I wanted to believe him, trust him… More than anything… However, I knew he would only hurt me more. He did nothing but hurt me in the last seven year. Him showing up like this and telling me he wanted to try was more than my poor heart could handle. It just wanted to surrender and love him without fear, but my brain was wary of the consequences.

"Why can't you just dump him?" Edward growled, tugging my arm and giving me a pleading look.

I would have laughed at his attitude if it wasn't this annoying. The fact that he thought he could come here and fix everything with a few words was absurd. He couldn't make me trust him and believe him with just a few words. How could I believe he really wanted me when he told me he wanted to 'try'?

The last few weeks were really difficult for me, but I managed to keep myself together despite that horrible feeling of loss. Ignoring Edward was the hardest thing I had ever done, but I knew it was also the best thing I could do for myself at that point. Maybe, it was still the best thing I could do for myself.

_Edward is here. This changes everything._

A part of me was screaming at me to just to grab Edward and beg him to make it all better. That part of me believed that he was sincere and he had the power to heal me. However, he was the one who broke me as well and I was sick and tired of being broken. He was here because he missed me as his friend. I knew he wanted our friendship back even if he said he wanted to try being more. Try… It sounded like as if he was offering to do me a favour. Yeah, I wanted to be with him, but I wanted a normal relationship with a guy who liked me and that guy was Paul. He was my only chance. He was the safe option.

"I'm not breaking up with my boyfriend just because you want to," I growled at Edward, glaring at him.

"Your boyfriend?" He drawled, narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah, my boyfriend," I sighed, feeling the tears gather in my eyes. "I can't deal with you right now. I have to find Paul." I knew I had to tell Paul everything and apologise. I didn't expect Emmett to keep what he saw to himself.

Giving Edward a last look, I turned and started walking towards the door. I knew I would never love anyone as much as I loved him, but this obsession was unhealthy. I needed to live, move on. As much as I wanted to be with him, I knew Edward would never give me what I wanted. I would never have his heart.

"Bella, don't go," I heard Edward say in a strained voice, but I was already out of the room, praying that Edward would not do something stupid. He had a temper and he acted like a jerk whenever he was angry. And, I still loved that man…

"What the fuck is going on, Bella?" Emmett whisper yelled as he walked beside me. "Don't play with Paul, Bella. If you want-"

"Emmett, please," I hissed as my eyes got caught on Paul. He was five years older than me and he could be considered attractive. It wasn't his looks that made me agree to go out with him anyway. He was gentle. He was calm. He was a great listener. He was a great man.

Trying to relax, I took a deep breath and walked towards Paul as if nothing happened. As I sat down next to him, all I could think about was Edward and this made me feel like a cheater. I didn't even want to think about the kiss… I wasn't ready for that.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked, forcing myself to give him a big smile.

"Just chatting with your parents," Paul answered, giving me a happy smile as Mom tried to hide her grimace.

Giving me a fake smile, she stood up and walked out of the room, dragging Dad behind her. For some reason I didn't understand, she didn't like Paul and didn't give Dad a chance to get to know Paul. She kept saying she was Team Edward and I really wanted to scream whenever she said that. I knew she would have a heart attack if she knew I left Edward begging in Rose's guest bedroom.

"You look lost," Paul said, grabbing my hand and giving me a soft look. He was what I needed. Calm and gentle.

"Do you want to leave? Maybe, we can go to my place and watch a movie," I suggested, trying to keep desperation out of my voice, but I was desperate to just leave.

"We watched a movie just a few days ago," Paul said as his face got closer to mine. "Maybe, we should go to your place and just hang out," he continued, giving me a heated look and then a long kiss which made me feel nothing.

"Maybe, you should just stay here and I should beat the shit out of you!"

"Edward," I gasped, jumping to my feet as Edward walked towards us, glaring at Paul. "Edward, stop!"

"What? I'm not actually going to hit him. I'm not doing anything right now," he said in a calm voice, but I could see that he was nothing but calm. His eyes told me everything.

"What is going on?" Paul asked, standing up and throwing his arm around me protectively as I stiffened.

"Damn it," Edward muttered as his jaw clenched. Our eyes met and the pain I saw in his eyes made my stupid heart twist painfully. He may have hurt me so many times, but I couldn't stand seeing him looking like this. I was such a stupid, naive girl.

"Edward, please don't do anything that you'll regret later," I whispered to him as his eyes captivated mine.

"I have done so many stupid things that I regret," he said, giving me a sad smile. "I don't understand how I couldn't see this before. How could I manage to deny this for so long? It doesn't make sense," he muttered, sounding incredulous.

"This?" I asked weakly, forgetting Paul's presence, but he was quick to remind me.

"Aren't we going to your place? What the hell is happening here?" He asked, sounding impatient.

"Well, asshole, you can go anywhere you want to, but Bella is staying here," Edward said in a hard and loud voice.

"Okay, enough. We are leaving, Paul," I intervened before Paul could respond.

"Really?" Edward yelled, stepping in front of me. "Why are you leaving? What are you going to do in your place?"

Hearing him ask this caused my mouth to drop open in shock. How dare he?

"It is none of your business, Edward," I said, my voice loud and clear. Maybe a lot louder than neccessary.

"You are being a coward, Bella," he shouted as Rose, Esme, Alice and Mom gathered around us. Alice reached for Edward's arm, but he shook her off. "Why can't we just talk?"

"I am not a coward!" I hissed, poking his chest. "I just refuse to listen to your bullshit!"

"Bullshit?"

"Yeah, bullshit. Do you expect me to believe that you are sincere? I have known you for eight years! We have been friends for seven fucking years! How can you expect me to believe you have feelings for me right now? You only think you want me because I moved on! You hate that I left you behind! Nothing more!" I yelled, breathing heavily.

"You think you know it all, right? You think you know me. You know nothing!"

I was losing my temper. He kept telling me I knew nothing and it was annoying me.

"Tell me what I don't know then! Tell me."

"You don't know how much I fucking love you!"

I couldn't believe my ears. I couldn't believe. All I could do was gape at him while a few people gasped and someone close to me giggled. All I could do was stand there and try to breathe as Edward's face turned into a shocking shade of red. All I could do was try to tame my beating heart as my mind worked furiously to understand what he said. Did he really say that? My eyes found Mom and her beaming face was enough to make me freak out. He really said that.

_I fucking love you._

He didn't mean that. God, I knew he didn't. There was no way he meant that. He never saw me that way. Never. No. He was just saying that to placate me so that he could get his friend Bella back.

"You don't," I managed to choke out. "You don't, Edward. You're being ridiculous. It's too much. You don't mean that."

My words didn't make sense to me.

"I mean what I say. I mean it," he said, blushing furiously.

"No-"

"Why are you being so stubborn?" He asked in a fierce voice, looking dejected.

"I… you… I really need to go," I mumbled and bolted out of the house before anyone could say anything. I had no power to deal with this now. I was drained, confused and shocked.

Did he love me?

He loved-

No, he didn't.

"Bella, wait!" Paul called after me, grabbing my arm. "What is going on? You have to tell me what the hell is going on." He sounded upset and he had every right to be.

"Nothing," I lied as my eyes watered.

"He wants you," Paul said as he opened the door of his car for me. That simple sentence was enough to reduce me into tears. Did he really want me? I wanted to believe that. I really did. However, I couldn't just let myself believe it. I had learned it the hard way.

"No, he doesn't. He's just not used to being ignored," I muttered, getting into the car.

Paul got into the car and there was a few moments of silence before he sighed heavily.

"It looks like it is more than that," he commented, turning to look at me.

"It's not, Paul."

"I know you have feelings for him," he said, shocking me to my core. "Emmett warned me when I first asked you out. He told me you were in love with another man. I should have listened to him."

I didn't know if I should be mad at Emmett for talking behind my back or curse at myself for loving Edward like this. I wanted to tell Paul to forget about what happened and drive me home, but I knew today changed everything.

"You and Emmett gossip like women," I said, not knowing what else to say. "It doesn't mean a thing."

"You love him. It means a thing," he mumbled, turning to look at the road. "I can't keep you away from him. I can't fight for a woman who loves another man. It's not in my nature."

I knew I had to assure Paul or apologise to him at that second. He was being extremely mature while his girlfriend was crying over another man, but all I could do was whimper pathetically.

"He doesn't love me."

"I think we should take a break," Paul sighed, looking at me with somber eyes. "You need to think. I need to think."

"What? I like you, Paul," I said in a poor attempt to stop him from breaking up with me, but I knew breaking up was inevitable.

"Don't fool yourself, Bella."

Don't fool yourself…

Those three words were all I could think about all through the following week. Was I fooling myself? Was I denying myself? All through the years, Edward was all I wanted and now he was within reach. Why wasn't it easy? Why couldn't I just say yes to him? Why couldn't I believe him?

It had been six days since Edward told me he loved me, and I still didn't say a word to him. I had always wanted to hear those three words from him. I had always thought hearing those words from him would bring me happiness and joy. I had never thought I would be afraid… Afraid of believing him and getting crushed… Afraid of losing him…

I didn't know how many times he called me in the last six days. He came to my door five times. This morning, I found seven voice mails from him and I had a suspicion that he was waiting in front of my door at the moment.

At that moment, the bell rang, making me jump. It wasn't Edward, though.

"Alice-"

"Edward is miserable," Alice said, marching into my house with her ridiculously high heeled shoes.

"I don't care," I snapped, playing with my greasy hair. I knew I should have taken a shower.

"You can fool yourself, but not me," Alice sang, sitting down. "I know you and Paul broke up. Rose told me."

"Because of your cousin," I snapped again, glaring at Alice. "I had a normal relationship for once in my life and Edward had to come and ruin it."

"Do you really believe this?" She asked and the sarcasm in her voice made me want to slap her.

A normal relationship. Without love… Without passion. To tell the truth, breaking up with Paul didn't affect me in the least. I wasn't sorry because we broke up. I was just sorry that it had to be this way.

"Edward is going insane, Bella. Just give the guy a chance, for God's sake. Don't be this irrational."

"I am not being irrational," I groaned in anger. "I'm just protecting my heart."

"By breaking his," she said, giving me a pointed look. "Look, I just can't understand why you are avoiding him. Just talk to him. He loves you, Bella."

"No, he doesn't," I said, shaking my head furiously. I couldn't believe that. Believing that would only hurt me more when he got bored of me and left, and I knew he would get bored.

"Bella, I'm sorry, but you're being really stupid. He shouted it in front of everyone and it wasn't a calculated move. He didn't think or wait for an appropriate moment. He just blurted it out because he couldn't keep it inside him."

It sounded really romantic when Alice put it that way, but I still couldn't bring myself to let go and believe him.

"He just wants his friend back, but I can't be his friend anymore. I don't have the will or strenght to act like his friend anymore," I said

"God! Why don't you understand? He is in love with you and he is miserable! You are miserable! Just let the poor guy talk to you!" Alice shrieked, standing up and stomping her feet.

"I just… I wish-" I mumbled, trying to stop myself from crying.

"You have the chance to change everything and you're pushing it away. Why? Because of your pride? Are you afraid?"

"I have no pride when it comes to Edward," I said, snorting.

"What is keeping you away, then?"

"I know he will get bored and leave me alone. He doesn't love me the way I love him," I said in a voice embarrassingly whiny as Alice gave me a huge, freaky smile.

"That's it?"

"Yeah," I said, nodding. "I just can't believe him when he says he loves me, Alice. Why now? Why didn't he realise it four months ago or a year ago? It makes me think that he only wants his friend back and ready to do anything for this."

Alice looked thougtful for a few seconds before her face brightened with a smile. She let out a tiny giggle, shaking her head.

"You are an idiot. Edward is too," she said in a cheerful voice.

"Thank you."

"I met Jasper when I was sixteen."

"I know that, Alice," I said as she continued to smile widely.

"He came to Chicago with Edward and spent all of the summer with us. At the end of the summer, he told me he was in love with me."

"That's cute," I muttered, not having any idea why she was telling me this.

"Believe me, I didn't think it was cute back then. I told him I didn't see him that way, and I was very rude. He was just a friend to me,"Alice said, shaking her head as if she couldn't believe her sixteen years old self did that.

"I didn't know that."

"My mom and brother died the following winter," Alice continued, looking right into my eyes as they filled with tears. I already knew she lost her Mom and little brother in a car crash when she was seventeen, but it was Edward who told me that. I never heard those words from Alice and now hearing them made my throat tighten.

"I'm so sorry, Alice," I said as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Jasper and Edward were the ones who kept me from breaking down during those months. They called me everyday. They came to visit me whenever they could. Edward was close to my mom, so it was hard on him as well. It was actually Jasper who was with me all through my pain. He became everything to me. He was my rock."

"So, that's when you fell in love with him?" I asked, grabbing her hand.

"Yeah, and he didn't believe me when I told him. He thought I only thought I was in love with him because he was there for me when I needed him the most. He was so stubborn, so stupid," Alice said, smiling widely. Jasper always managed to cheer her up.

"How did you manage to make him believe?" I asked

"We gave it a chance and I showed him how much I loved him at every chance I had. It was time that made his doubts go away. So, Bella, you can never know without giving him a chance. I can't tell you that he will never break your heart. I am sure there will be times you want to punch him or even leave him, but fear shouldn't keep you away from him."

"Thank you, Alice," I muttered, not looking at her. For some reason, I didn't want her to see how her words affected me.

Alice left a few hours later and I was alone once again. Grabbing a bag of cookies and a glass of milk, I went to my room to read for a while. However, I couldn't keep my swollen eyes open and fell asleep despite the turmoil in my head.

When I woke up, the room was extremely hot and I had a terrible headache. Groaning, I tried to turn to my side and that was when I saw the hairy arm which was thrown over my stomach. Resisting the urge to scream, I looked beside me and saw Edward sleeping with his mouth wide open.

"What the hell, Edward?" I shouted and he opened his eyes, jumping. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Just taking a nap," he slurred, blinking. "Come here," he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me to his chest. "You had enough time to throw a fit. Now, we are taking a nap and then we are going to talk."

"But-"

"I'm not listening to you anymore," he said, looking at me firmly with his beautiful green eyes. "You are going to listen to me."

I wanted to shout at him. I wanted to push him. Deny. Kick him out… However, I was tired. I couldn't deny him anymore. He could give me everything I had ever wanted. He was everything I had ever wanted.

"Okay," I whispered as my body sagged against his. "But, you have to make me believe in you."

"I will," he whispered as I yawned. "I will never let you down again."

I was done denying him.

I was giving him a chance to make me believe.

I had no other choice when I loved him like this.

* * *

><p>Hi, everyone!<p>

I'm sorry it took me this long to update, but I am really busy. And ill. I have a terrible cold. I can't even breathe... Anyway, I wasn't going to update for another week, but then I heard a song and it gave me inspiration. So, I completed this chapter really quickly. I hope I could convey Bella's confusion about all of this.

I want to thank to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter. You guys are amazing! I also want to thank everyone who voted for this story when it was nominated on The Lemonade Stand. Oh, and I also want to thank to the person who nominated my story! :) (Unfortunately, I don't know who nominated it.)You are all amazing and thank you from the bottom of my heart...

That is it for now.

Have a great Sunday!

E.


	13. Chapter 13

**IMPORTANT: This chapter isn't edited. I am sure it has many, many mistakes. Please tell me if it is too bad. Thank you.**

* * *

><p>Seven Years<p>

Life was so strange. Really strange. I spent seven years waiting for Edward to see me, and just when I stopped hoping and tried to move on, Edward showed up, claiming he loved me. Wasn't this the strangest thing? Or the cheesiest cliché? Did he just want me because he couldn't have me? These questions filled my mind, and it only got worse when I tried to find answers. Maybe, it was me who was strange after all.

Taking a deep breath, I sat up on my bed. I was alone and I wasn't surprised. A part of me expected this even if I felt like the biggest loser in the whole word right now. Why did I let him stay? Why did I have to be so stupid? Of course, he would leave. He was already bored and it was foolish of me to hope for something that would never happen. He would never be with me. He didn't even love me.

Trying to keep myself from bursting into tears of frustration, I started combing my hair with my fingers. I wasn't going to cry after him anymore. I was sick and tired of being this weak. I wanted to be strong and I wanted to move on. God, why did he have to ruin everything again? He had no right to play with my life just because he got bored.

"Fuck him," I whispered to myself, and heard a loud laugh that startled me.

Edward.

"I can tell you're thinking about me," he said, grinning cheekily.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, gesturing to the tray he carried.

"I prepared something to eat," he said, smiling widely and putting the tray on the bed.

Looking into his eyes, I tried to understand why he was doing this, but all I could see was excitement. Why he was excited while I felt like a nervous wreck was beyond me.

"Why are you doing this?" I sighed, closing my eyes.

"Because I'm hungry and I thought you might be too," Edward said slowly, probably sensing that I was about to explode.

"I am not," I snapped as my eyes found his. "How did you get in my house last night?"

"I might have stolen the keys you gave to Alice," he muttered, averting his eyes from mine. "She keeps her keys in a bowl."

"I should have never given her my spare keys," I mumbled, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Don't let her hear that," Edward said, giving me a smile as if nothing happened.

"Edward!"

"What? I had to see you!" he exclaimed, looking at me with wide, innocent eyes.

I knew his eyes would take my breath away if I let myself get lost in them. I loved his eyes… I loved how expressive they were and right now they seemed so sincere, so truthful that they scared me. I couldn't say anything to him and the silence lasted for a few minutes until he broke it.

"You don't believe a word I say, do you?" He asked, sounding offended. "I can see it in your eyes that you don't believe me."

"I want to," I mumbled, not being able to look at him. "But, I can't."

"You know me, Bella," he said, grabbing my hand and I let him. "You know I don't lie and I didn't lie to you when I said I loved you. I meant it. I love you."

"Edward," I gasped, taking my hand from his. I knew he never lied to me, but right now it felt like he was lying, and I hated that.

"You have every right to doubt me, but give me a chance to prove myself to you. The last month was hell. Not having you in my life was hell."

Hearing him say these words was amazing, but I couldn't bring myself to believe them. When I made the tiniest amount of effort to believe them, it felt like I was fooling myself or trying to find excuses. I had to be careful with my heart this time.

"I think you only missed our friendship," I said, swallowing thickly.

"No, it has nothing to do with friendship," he groaned, grabbing my hand again and holding it firmly between his. "What I feel for you isn't friendly at all."

"How can you expect me to belive that?" I asked, snorting and rolling my eyes.

"Why are you acting like I am some asshole who is set to break your heart?" He asked in a soft tone, looking into my eyes. "I hurt you deeply and I am so sorry for that, but I am not here to hurt you again. It isn't my intention. I'm not lying to you."

I knew he didn't lie to me. I was afraid that he was lying to himself.

"Maybe you're lying to yourself."

"What does that mean, Bella?"

"Maybe, you just think you love me? I mean, we have known each other for years, so why now? After a horrible month we didn't speak to each other? Maybe, you just want to feel that way so you can keep me in your life," I muttered weakly.

"First of all, I don't think I love you. I know I love you," Edward started, looking at me with fierce eyes. "Secondly, yes, last month was horrible, and it made me realise I love you. It made me realise how important you are to me and it made me realise that you are not just a friend to me," he said, taking a deep breath and giving me a small smile. "God, Jasper is my friend, Bella. Not you! There were times I didn't see him for months, and I didn't freak out."

"Maybe, you're just-"

"God, stop saying maybe!" He said in a booming voice. "I have been loving you for a really long time and I only realised it recently. I have been a blind idiot for so long, but I don't want to be anymore."

I really wanted to believe him. I really did. It would be so amazing to let go and love him, but my fears and insecurities held me back. Doubts, fears and insecurities that lived with me for the last seven years. It wasn't easy to erase them in a few days.

"Don't think," he growled when I stayed silent. "Ask me questions. Yell at me. Kick me out. Just don't stay silent. I know you and I know what you are thinking is not good. Say something!"

"I never thought I would hear you say these words. Maybe, that's why I can't make myself believe them," I whispered, giving him a sad smile.

"How could we be this stupid?" He muttered, shaking his head. "It makes perfect sense."

"No, it doesn't," I blurted out without thinking.

"Why do you think so?"

"It doesn't make sense, Edward. I'm just me and you have known me for years. Why now?"

"You keep saying the same things," he said, sighing loudly. "It's not like I decided to fall in love with you just now. I don't know when it happened. All I know is that I can feel it right now, and I want more with you. I'm not forcing myself to do anything. I am not doing this because I'm afraid of losing you. I'm doing this because I want to."

"I have… doubts, Edward," I mumbled, not being able to look at his face.

"I know you have, Bella. I know you," he said, reaching to cup my cheek with his hand. "I know what you think. I know you're afraid that I will screw this up and hurt you more, but you have to know that I won't do that to you."

"Edward, come on," I whispered as I felt my face got hotter. "You will get bored of me and find someone better. I don't think you see me the way I see you. You are gorgeous and I am just… me."

"Bella," he growled, looking like I just slapped him. "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life-"

"Yeah, sure," I snorted, but he gave me a hard look which made me shut up immediately.

"You're stunning, and I have always found you attractive. You have to believe me."

"I look like a cow and you know it," I said, rolling my eyes. Last month and being away from Edward didn't agree with me and I ended up gaining a few pounds. My hair was greasy and I had dark circles under my eyes. I knew I looked horrible.

"Stop it," he snapped, looking at me with wide, angry eyes. "You are beautiful and you have an amazing body. You are perfect," he said with determination.

Feeling uncomfortable under his intense gaze, I reached and grabbed an apple from the tray. I hated that I was being this awkward, but I didn't know how to act around him right now. I didn't know what to say, so I ended up mumbling to myself.

"You're just saying that."

"You have an amazing ass," he muttered and my eyes flew up to his.

"What?"

"Your… umm… ass is great. I know I sound crude right now, but I'm trying to make you believe me. I don't know how many times I fantasised about it," he rushed out, turning into an alarming shade of red as my mouth dropped open in shock.

Did he fantasise about my ass?

What the hell?

My ass? Really?

I could feel my lips twitch as he gave me a long, burning look and then a wicked smile. God, he was going to kill me. I wouldn't survive this. This was too much. Doubts and insecurities. Hope and dreams… I didn't know what to do. What to say.

Not having any idea how to respond to him, I could only burst into laughter.

"What?" He asked, sounding wary while I snickered to myself.

"It's funny," I muttered. "I never thought-"

"Well, you thought wrong," he intervened, shaking his head. "There were many times when my thoughts about you weren't really innocent, but I'm not going to… you know… share them with you right now."

"Oh," I managed to say, looking everywhere but him.

The thought of him thinking about me in that way was both exciting and scary. I thought I was invisible to him. Suddenly, I remembered the day when Esme caught him checking me out in our kitchen and started giggling again. It turned out that I wasn't invisible after all.

"Let's do something today," he suddenly said, giving me a big smile. "Dinner and then a movie? Does it sound good?"

"It sounds awfully like a date," I said as my heart jumped in my chest.

"That's a good thing."

"Edward, we really need to talk. You're getting ahead of yourself."

"Okay, ask me whatever you want to ask," he said, grabbing one of my pillows and making himself comfortable. "I know you have questions."

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "I don't understand how you can tell me you love me right now," I blurted out. "You were telling me about another girl just a month ago. What changed? What happened to Kate?"

He sighed loudly and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards him. I knew I had to stay away from him to keep my head clear, but his arms seemed so inviting and I couldn't resist being close to him after being away from him for so long.

"I never loved Kate," he said, looking straight into my eyes. "She was just a girl I was dating. Nothing more. I never wanted to date her in the first place, but she was so insistent. She claimed that she could keep me interested. She was actually counting the days and everything. Now, it sounds like a game. It wasn't serious anyway. She is going out with Garrett now."

"Your friend, Garrett?" I asked, shocked.

"Yeah. They seemed really into each other when I last saw them."

"Did you… break up with her because of me?" I asked in a small voice, trying to keep my voice even. As awful as it sounded, the thought of him breaking up with her because of me was thrilling.

"I couldn't continue dating her when I was going crazy about you. Yeah, I broke up with her because I realised I loved you," he said, giving me a soft smile and making me melt.

"She didn't mind? It sounds like she was really into you," I muttered, not having any idea why the hell I was so curious about this, but I had to hear what happened.

"She is dating Garrett, Bella. She's really happy with him."

"Maybe, she is only dating him to be close to you so that she can have a chance to reunite with you," I said, not being able to hide the fear in my voice. I knew I was being irrational, but it was a possibility.

"God, help me," he mumbled, grabbing his phone and dialing a number.

"What are you doing?" I asked, but he didn't answer.

"Hi, Edward. Is that you?" I heard a woman ask as Edward put his phone on the bed between us and that was when I finally realised he called Kate.

I opened my mouth to snap at him, but he raised his eyebrows, shaking his head.

"Yeah, it's me. How are you doing, Kate?" he asked, giving me a warning look to stay silent.

"Oh, I'm good. Just surprised. How's Port Angeles?"

"Cold, but great," Edward said, winking at me and I rolled my eyes. "How is Garrett?"

"Amazing," Kate sighed into the phone and then started giggling. "I sound like a lovesick idiot. How is Bella?"

I couldn't stop the loud gasp that left my lips and Edward gave me a smug smile. How did she know my name? Did Edward tell her about me?

"She's being stubborn, but I think I will make her believe me."

"You were a jerk to her, Edward. I may not know her, but I know you need to work hard to get her back."

"She keeps saying that I will get bored of her. She even thinks I may get back together with you in the future," Edward said in an annoyingly smug voice as Kate barked out a loud laughter.

"God, no! Dating you was so awkward! God, never again. I don't know what I was thinking when I asked you out all those times," she exclaimed, making me grin as Edward rolled his eyes.

"Thank you very much, Kate," he said in a dry voice, making Kate giggle.

"Oh, come on! It wasn't like you were in love with me. Anyway, everything is as it is supposed to be right now."

"Not now, but, I hope, soon," Edward sighed, giving me a meaningful look.

"Look, I have to go now. Call me anytime you want to talk, okay? We are your friends, Edward. Don't forget that. You can call me or Garrett anytime you want."

"Thank you, Kate. Bye," Edward said, smiling warmly. I could see that he only cared about her as a friend and it seemed like she didn't feel anything towards him.

"Bye," she chirped and ended the call.

There was a few seconds of silence before I couldn't take it anymore.

"She knows about me," I breathed out.

"Yeah, I told her everything. She is like Alice. She didn't stop bothering me until I told her what was wrong with me."

"You… I mean… you," I started to say, but couldn't find the words. I wanted to ask him if he was as miserable as I was during the last month. He seemed to understand what I was trying to say, though.

"I was having a hard time, and she could see something was wrong. She didn't leave me alone until I told her everything. She is actually a great friend. I am happy for her and Garrett."

Hearing him mentioning Kate and Garrett's names reminded me of Chicago and remembering Chicago made me depressed me once more.

"When are you going back to Chicago?" I asked, dreading to hear the answer. I wanted him to stay here, with me, but I knew he had a life there.

"Never," he said and gulped, looking nervous all of a sudden. "I will stay with you for as long as you want me. I am not going anywhere."

My heart was beating like crazy in my chest as I absorbed his words. I wanted to keep my heart under control, but it was too late. I was gone. Too far gone.

"When… When did you realise you… love me?" I whispered, afraid of saying the words. They felt so real when I heard them leaving his lips, but I couldn't just let go of my doubts. Without them, I would drown. I needed them to keep my heart safe.

"I think I have been loving you for a very long time, but I never let myself acknowledge that," he said and then even my doubts weren't enough to keep me from falling. I fell for him once again and hard…

How couldn't I? He was saying all those things I had always longed to hear. How could I stay safe when all I wanted to do was believe in him?

"How?" I gasped as my eyes filled with tears. I couldn't believe this moment was real.

"Bella, I'm going to be honest with you because it is the only way you're going to believe me," he said, closing his eyes. "There were times when I thought you had feelings for me and there were a few times when I entertained the thought of having something more with you, but I couldn't act on it. I couldn't risk hurting you after being an asshole to you in high school."

"What?" I whispered with wide eyes. I knew there were times he suspected I had feelings for him. He had to be blind not to see that. But him? "You wanted more?"

"I think I knew I liked you, but you were a friend, Bella. You were my best friend. I was blind, stupid. But that kiss… When you kissed me, it was like you slapped me. I came to my senses real quick and I had a month to think about them. I had a month to reassess everything I thought I knew. You were never a friend to me. You have to see that, Bella. You have to see that we were never friends. We were just fooling ourselves. We have something special and I don't want to deny it anymore."

"We were just friends," I muttered, shaking my head.

"Really?" Edward barked, making me jump. "We were only friends?"

"Yeah," I said in a weak voice as he shook his head.

"You know, the pair of high heels you bought last summer?" He asked, with fire in his eyes and I nodded stupidly, not having any idea what he was saying. "I get hard whenever you wear them with that black frilly skirt," he said as my mouth dropped open in shock. What the hell?

"I love your hair and I can't stop touching it when you wear it down," he continued, tucking my hair behind my ear. "Remember, when we went to visit Rose and Emmett in California and you wore that red bikini? The sight of you in that bikini is the only thing I think when I jerk off," he rushed out, looking like a crazy person and rendering me speechless.

I remembered the way he looked at me whenever I wore those black high heels, and I involuntarily shievered. The red bikini? Really? Was that the reason he begged me to not to go to the beach that summer? He had driven me insane! Oh, I knew he loved my hair. I knew he couldn't keep his hands away from my hair.

"Am I being too blunt? Too rude?" he asked, looking at me nervously. "Do I scare you?"

"I'm just surprised," I managed to squeak out, pressing my cold hands to my hot cheeks.

"Don't be," he said, grabbing my hands with his warm ones and I couldn't help but smile. "I may sound like a pervert, but I'm being honest. At first, I freaked out, thinking that I was being an asshole by thinking about you like that, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop thinking about you. Whenever I flew here to see you, I thought I did that because you were my friend. I now know that I only did that because I was dying to see you. I couldn't continue being there without you. Bella, please don't deny me anymore."

"I don't want to," I muttered, giving him a small smile. "I… I fell in love with you when we were juniors in high school. It happened one morning. I was going to cafeteria to grab a coffee. I didn't know how it happened or why it happened then. All I know was that you suddenly seemed so different. So endearing," I rushed out, not having any idea why I was telling him this, but seeing the twinkle in his eyes was beautiful.

"I can't tell you an exact moment. I don't know when it happened, but I know it happened, Bella. I love you. There haven't been a single day I didn't think about you in those last few years. Even if those thoughts weren't always innocent," he said, shaking his head and I let out a little laugh.

"This is a little awkward," I said, giggling.

"Mmmm," he mumbled, giving me a shy look. "I thought you caught me staring at you a few times."

"No, I never noticed," I said, blushing.

"Rose and Alice noticed. I think everyone but you noticed. I'm not very discreet when it comes to those things," he said, smiling crookedly.

"And apparently, I am blind," I said, trying to stop myself from smiling like a maniac.

God, I was ridiculous.

"We were both blind, Bella," he said, grabbing my chin gently. "But my vision is perfectly clear right now."

"What do you see?"

"I see my future. I see the woman I love," he mumbled as his lips got closer to mine. "Can you give me a chance to prove myself to you?"

I could only nod before he pressed his lips to mine. I knew we had a long way ahead of us, but I wanted to try. I wanted him too much to let this chance go. I loved him too much.

"I will make you believe me," he mumbled in between kisses. "You are mine."

The possessiveness I heard in his voice both shocked and thrilled me.

"Then, you are mine," I muttered as he kissed my neck. The words felt so good. So amazing. But what he said next made me feel even more amazing.

"Bella, I have always been yours."

* * *

><p>Hi, everyone!<p>

Early update! Shocking, right? :) It took me a few hours to write this chapter, but I kind of like the result. Just know that Bella will make Edward work for her:)

I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed last chapter! Your kind words mean a lot to me and they give me courage!:)

Have a great Sunday!

E.


	14. Chapter 14

**IMPORTANT: This chapter isn't edited and I am sure it has many, many mistakes. Please tell me if it is too bad. **

* * *

><p>Seven Years<p>

I spent the last seven years of my life dreaming about how dating Edward would be like. It was so easy and effortless in my dreams. He would make me laugh and giggle and I would feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I found out that it wasn't effortless in real life though. It was awkward as hell and I didn't even know why.

As I sat next to him in the darkness of the movie theater, the only thing I could think about was how uncomfortable I was and it freaked me out. Spending time with Edward wasn't something new to me. We did this a million times before. However, I couldn't stop my heart from getting heavy right now. I felt like I was about to get choked up and I didn't even know the reason.

Maybe, it was stupid of me to agree to come here with Edward in the first place. It was so soon and now I was freaking out. I should have kept him away from me for a little while longer.

Easier said than done… There was no way I could stay away from him…

"Are you okay?" Edward suddenly whispered, leaning towards me and making me shiver in delight despite the complicated situation I was in. Yeah, how could I stay away from him?

"Yeah, I am fine. I'm just a little tired," I lied, blushing furiously. I thought I was being discreet, but it seemed like he was aware of my foul mood.

"Yeah, you look a little bit tired," he said, grabbing my hand and causing my heart to jump in my chest. "We can go home if you want to."

I wasn't going to lie and say that it didn't affect me when he looked all worried and concerned about me. It made me warm inside to see him looking at me with his worried eyes. It made me feel good to see that he really cared about me. As much as I wanted to go home, I didn't want to ruin his fun. He seemed really into the movie and I was sure it was about to end anyway.

"No, I am okay, Edward," I tried to say in a normal voice, but my voice cracked when he kissed my temple softly. God, why did he have to act like this?

Giving him a smile, I pretended to be interested in the movie. Well, my friends told me that it was a good movie, but I actually didn't even know what it was about. My mind was too occupied with the thoughts of Edward to enjoy the movie properly.

After I found Edward in my bed yesterday and we talked, I was more hopeful about everything. The thought of him hurting me more still scared me, but I was trying my best not to think about it. I decided that I wasn't going to push Edward away and I caved in fairly easily when he asked me to go out with him this morning. However, I felt weird now. It felt like we shouldn't be here. It felt like we were pretending that we were something we actually weren't even close to being. What were we anyway? What was I to him now? Were we going to be in a relationship? How was that going to happen? God, I had so many questions in my mind, but I didn't have a single answer.

Glancing at his face in the dark, I tried to stop myself from sighing stupidly. He may be an insistent jerk sometimes, but I loved him too much to care. It was the only thing I was sure and nothing could change this. Nothing… Remembering how his green eyes lightened with joy when I agreed to go out with him this morning, I couldn't help but smile to myself. His eyes were my undoing and I swear he knew the power they had on me.

"Bella, come on. What is wrong? You seem so distracted," Edward commented, pulling me towards him when we were walking on the street after the movie. "What do you think about the movie? Did you like it?"

"It was good, I guess, " I said, shrugging and giving him a smile. "I told you I wasn't in the mood for a movie, anyway."

"Oh, shut up, Swan," he said in a teasing voice, chuckling and throwing his arm around my shoulders. "Tell me what is wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, Edward," I said, cringing when I sounded curt.

"Okay," he breathed out softly, but I could see he was hurt. "Are you hungry? Let's go eat something."

I was more than ready to go back to my home, but I agreed to have some dinner with him. As we ate, the tension was palpable and I had a good idea that it was all because of me. I was feeling stressed and drained. All I wanted to do was be alone and think. Edward had different ideas, though.

"We can go to the new bookstore or we can just sit in a cafe and talk," he said, looking at me with hopeful but tentative eyes.

"I want to get some sleep, Edward. I am tired," I muttered, looking everywhere but him.

"Is it so hard to spend some time with me, Bella?" he asked in a hurt voice after taking a huge breath. "I am trying to reach to you, but I can't do that when you keep pushing me away."

He was right. I was being an asshole right now, but I wasn't going to admit that to him.

"Edward, come on," I sighed, looking at my shoes. God, I hated seeing him upset, but I didn't know how to put it in words without upsetting him more. I didn't know why I did it, but I just opened my big mouth and said it. "Don't you think this feels a little awkward?"

"Awkward?" he breathed out in disbelief. "Did I do something? What are you talking about?"

"No, it is not something you did. I just don't know, Edward. I mean, we did these things a million times before. Going to the movies, eating dinner outside… It just feels awkward now. I can't explain it. Everything has changed, but these things are the same, and it is a little confusing," I ranted, feeling extremely stupid. However, the next sentence that came out of my mouth could be the sole proof of my stupidity. "Maybe, we can't do this. Maybe, we think more time to think."

There was a few minutes of silence before he sighed in defeat, making me want to cry.

"Okay. Can I at least drive you to your home? I don't want you to walk home in this weather."

The heartbreak I heard in his voice was too much to handle and I had to blink my eyes to stop myself from crying. How in the hell did today turn out to be like that? I didn't even know. I just knew that I was a jerk.

"I am not giving up, Bella. You can push me away all you want, but I won't go," Edward murmured softly as he parked his car in front of my building.

"Thank you," I managed to say and got out of the car before I bursted into tears.

As soon I entered my apartment, I grabbed my phone and called Rose to beg her to come to my house. I skipped calling Alice since she was exteremely biased when it came to Edward, but she showed up anyway. Apparently, it was Rose who called her so that she wouldn't be alone when I ranted and raved about Edward.

"It was just so awkward, Alice. I didn't even know what to do or what to say to him. I was just frozen and so uncomfortable, and I feel horrible now. I was horrible to him," I whined to Alice since she seemed more interested in what I had to say as Rose just sat there with a small smirk on her face.

"Are you still feeling like that? I mean, do you still think that you being together is weird?" Alice asked, giving me a soft smile. She may be biased and she was also a good listener.

"God, I don't know," I growled. "All I know is that I love him and I just don't want to hurt him."

"Edward hurt you so many times before," Rose intervened, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Rose, you aren't helping," Alice warned her as I continued to glare at Rose.

What Rose just said actually didn't surprise me at all. She was a little wary about me giving Edward a chance since she thought I actually knew nothing about him. When I called her yesterday to talk about Edward, she spent thirty minutes telling me that knowing a person as a friend was a lot more different than knowing him as a boyfriend and that I should take my time getting to know him in that way before totally trusting him. Of course, she had a point, but that didn't mean I magically knew what to do. It was Edward, for God's sake! I never knew what to do when it came to Edward, and this time was no different.

"What? I am just telling the truth. Of course, I want them to be together and I want Bella to be happy. I just don't trust him right now. He needs to work hard to earn Bella's love and it seems like it is Bella who is trying while he is away doing God knows what."

"You were singing a different tune a few months ago," Alice hissed, rolling her eyes. "You are just pissed that Bella broke up with your friend because of Edward."

"I am just pissed that she keeps trying to adjust every single thing in her life for Edward while he does nothing in return," Rose said in a loud voice.

"Edward does nothing?" Alice shrieked in disbelief. "He is moving back to Port Angeles to be with Bella."

"Oh, how-"

"Okay, that is enough!" I yelled, not being able to take their stupid bickering any longer. "Yes, he hurt me before, Rose. You don't need to remind me. However, I know it wasn't intentional. I believe that he never wanted to hurt me," I said in a much calmer voice, but my heart was beating way too fast. Edward might be a clueless idiot, but he wasn't cruel. Maybe, it was Rose who was biased after all.

"Bella, come on. You don't trust him. Admit it," Rose said, looking into my eyes.

"Why are you being such a bitch?" I mumbled, giving her a pleading look. I hated it when she acted like this. " I want to trust him. I want to be with him, but I am so freaking scared. God, I was so nervous today! I went out with him a million times, but I couldn't even relax today. We didn't even do anything different," I babbled as tears slipped from my eyes.

"Bella, please, I am sorry," Rose sighed, enveloping me into a big hug. "I know Edward is actually a good guy, but you are my best friend. I don't want to see you get hurt ever again, and it seems like you are still hurting over him."

"He is a good guy," I said, wiping my tears. "It was me who hurt him today. I acted like a jerk."

"He acted like a thoughtless jerk," Alice yelled suddenly, causing me to jump and Rose burst into laughter.

"What? Edward? I thought you were his biggest fan," Rose drawled as Alice glared at her wine glass.

"It is his fault, but I am sure it wasn't intentional. Idiot! He took you out and you went to the shopping mall to watch a movie! Remember what happened the last time you were there?" Alice rushed out in a furious whisper.

"He told me he was dating Kate," I answered, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Maybe, being there just reminded you of that old, unwanted memory and that was why you felt that awkward. Now that everything has changed between you two, you must need to change some other things as well. Maybe, you should do some different stuff together so that the bad memories can leave you," Alice said, grinning brightly as Rose chuckled.

"Do you really believe this, Alice?" Rose asked, causing Alice's face to darken.

I was sure Alice was giving Rose a good answer, but my mind was too busy. God, Alice may have a point!

When Edward dragged me to that mall this morning, all I could think was how much he hurt me the last time we were there together. I knew there was nothing between him and Kate anymore, but the memory of him telling me about her was still enough to make me bitter. I managed to push it to the back of my mind during the day, but I didn't completely forget about it. I still had trust issues, and being in that place didn't help at all.

"You're actually thinking about it, right, Bella?" Rose asked, snickering. "You are worse than Alice."

"It kind of makes sense," I muttered, blushing furiously when she burst into laughter.

"Yeah, if you are a hopeless romantic."

Well, I couldn't be named as a hopeless romantic in general, but when it came to Edward, I was hopeless. After pining after Edward for seven years, I wasn't going to give up without considering all options, and what Alice just told me made lots of sense. Actually, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I had so many great memories with Edward, but there were so many bad ones as well. It was impossible to build a relationship on these. We needed a fresh start.

The following morning, I called Edward and invited him to my house for breakfast. He jumped at the chance to eat my pancakes, but he didn't know that I was planning to make him cook with me. I loved it when he helped me in the kitchen and got all frustrated when he almost always ended up doing the wrong thing. It was going to be a fun morning.

After setting the table, I put on one of my nicest sweaters and a little make up. Just as I was about to make some coffee, the doorbell rang and my heart skipped a beat, and for the first time in my life, I didn't feel embarrassed or stupid because of my reaction to Edward. All I could feel was excitement and love and. It was refreshing.

"Good morning. Are you feeling okay today?" Edward asked tentatively when I opened the door.

"Good morning. I am great," I said, kissing his lips and I smiled to myself when he let out a short breath. I was sure he thought I was crazy.

"Well, then, that's great. I brought you chocolate cupcakes," he said, giving me a large box and a genuine smile. I loved it when he smiled like that. I loved it when his whole face and eyes lightened up with happiness and joy.

"Oh, my favorites," I sang, peeking inside the box "I thought we could cook together."

"That would be nice," he breathed out as he leaned towards me. "Would it be alright if I kissed you?"

"That would be nice," I mumbed as his lips descended upon mine.

Of course, it was more than nice. Kissing him always felt amazing, but for the first time, my heart was this light. For the first time, I felt like we could really do this. It was an amazing feeling and I was determined to cheerish it.

"We should eat something," I muttered when we finally stopped kissing.

Fifteen minutes later, the pancakes were ready and Edward's shirt was soaked. I didn't know how in the hell he managed to get his shirt wet when he was pouring some orange juice into our glasses and I wasn't about to ask him since he actually seemed pissed about it.

"Don't smirk," he mumbled when he saw me grinning. "You know I am not good in kitchen."

"Oh, come on, Edward. It will dry in no time," I said, gesturing to his shirt and bursting into a fit of giggles when he grimaced.

"Whatever," he said, rolling his eyes, but then his expression turned into excited. "My dad hired me to work for him."

"What? I thought you didn't want to work with your family. Is that going to make you happy?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"I will be allright. We talked a lot before we agreed to work together and I think I will be just fine. I also know that he didn't hire me because I am related to him. It helps a lot to know that he hired me because I am great at my job," he said, giving me a smug smile and then a wink.

"Wow, your arrogance knows no boundaries," I joked, rolling my eyes.

"It is not arrogance. It is confidence and I have plenty," he said as his smile turned into even more arrogant.

"Jerk," I mumbled and he burst into laughter. It was his turn to piss me off.

"Are you busy today?" he asked when he finally stopped laughing at my sour expression. "I am going to take a look at a few apartments and it would be great if you were with me."

"I don't know, Edward," I said, pretending to think as he let out a huge, annoyed sigh.

"It won't take long."

"I don't think I have anything better to do. We can leave after you finish washing the dishes," I told him in a cheerful tone as he shook his head.

"No way."

"Then, you will go alone," I said, giving him a huge smile.

"God, fine! I will wash them!" He huffed, standing up and picking up our dirty plates. Thank God, he didn't see me shaking with laughter as he went towards the kitchen.

Thirty minutes later, the kitchen was spotless and Edward was even more pissed. I was sitting on the couch and reading a book when he stormed into the living room, his shirt even wetter.

"Do you want to wait for your shirt to dry before we go out? It may take a while," I said innocently and shrieked at the top of my lungs when he literally threw himself at me.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he was sprawled on me.

"I love it when you are this happy," he whispered, giving me a smile. "I almost came here last night. I can't stand it when you are upset with me."

"I wasn't upset. I was being a little dramatic, maybe," I said as he stroked my cheek. "I think we need a fresh start, Edward. You broke my heart the last time we were in that movie theater, and being there was so uncomfortable for me yesterday."

"I am so sorry," he muttered, looking into my eyes. "I should have thought that, but I was just so excited that you agreed to go out with me that I totally forgot about it. I just thought it would be better for us if we did the same things before. More familiar. I guess I was wrong. Can you forgive me?"

"I forgave you the moment you finished washing the dishes," I said and started giggling when he growled.

"You are so evil," he muttered and then started kissing my neck, making me stop laughing immediately. There was nothing funny about Edward's kissing me.

"I hate washing the dishes," I panted as he kissed my cheek, moving towards my lips.

"I love kissing you," he mumbled before finally kissing my lips. I was dazed when he broke the kiss to look into my eyes. His eyes were so green, so beautiful. My poor eyes were just captivated by his intense gaze. I couldn't find the correct words to tell the things his eyes made me feel. There weren't any words.

"I am in love with your eyes," I blurted out without thinking and blushed when he gave me a bright smile.

"They are in love with you, too," he breathed out in a soft voice and then resumed kissing me.

I didn't know how much time we spent kissing on my couch, but I knew we would spend a lot more time if it weren't for the shriek that we heard coming from my door.

"Oh, God! Finally!"

* * *

><p>Hi, everyone!<p>

I am sorry I made you wait for this update. I am very busy and I barely have time to write. Also, I found it really hard to express Bella's feelings in this chapter. I hope this chapter makes sense.

I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed last chapter! Thank you so much:)

Have a great Sunday!

E.


	15. Chapter 15

**This chapter isn't edited and I am sure it has many, many mistakes. Please tell me if it is too bad.**

* * *

><p><strong>Seven Years<strong>

**EPOV**

Alice was my favorite cousin and I really loved her. Hell, she was more like a sister to me, but unfortunately that didn't change the fact that she was one of the most annoying people I had ever met in my entire life. There were times that she annoyed the shit out of me and I kind of wanted to strangle her, and it was one of those freaking times now.

I loved kissing Bella and I was enjoying every second of it more than I could ever imagine until I saw Alice's grinning face looking at us. I just wanted to grab her and threw her out of the door and I didn't even feel guilty about thinking like that. There were no words to explain my shock and irritation as she kept looking at us with that stupid grin.

I hated her for interrupting us! My hands were just about to explore a little when Alice came barging in. I was dying to put my hands on Bella's- oh, God, I felt like such an asshole now. Maybe it was a good thing Alice came. I had a feeling that it was too early for my wandering hands.

"Finally," Alice shriked again, jumping up and down and looking like a huge idiot. "It took you guys long enough. I was getting worried."

"Alice, what the fuck are you doing here?" I snapped, sitting up on the couch and pulling a flushed looking Bella with me. I knew she was embarrassed as hell right now, and I wanted to kick myself for finding her flushed state hot while she was suffering.

"I was looking for you," Alice replied cheekily as I tried to not to gawp at Bella. "I told you to not to ignore me, Edward."

Her bossy tone made me want to choke her even more. Couldn't she see that we were in the middle of something? Something really, really important. God, she had been bothering the hell out of me for the last few days, calling me constantly. I foolishly thought that I could keep her away from me today, but, of course, I was wrong. Between her insistence and my mom's constant questioning, I was about to lose my mind.

"You know there is a reason I am ignoring you. I told you to not to interfere, Alice," I said, trying to sound calm, but I wasn't. Yeah, I was freaking angry, but I still didn't want to hurt her feelings. "But, no, you had to come here and ruin our afternoon."

"Oh, come on, don't be dramatic. You were begging me to help you a few days ago," Alice drawled, sitting down and making herself comfortable with a stupid grin on her face. I guess that was what made Bella get out of her daze and finally say something.

"Alice, how did you get in here?" Bella asked.

"I used the keys you gave me," Alice answered, playing with the said keys. "The same keys that Edward stole from me."

"Alice, for God's sake," I groaned, afraid of Bella's reaction, but Bella surprised me when she threw her head back and laughed loudly.

"I think it is time for you to give those keys back to me, Alice," Bella said between her giggles. "I gave it to you for emergencies anyway."

"This is an emergency," Alice instisted, breathing out loudly. "I called Edward for like fifteen times. I had to find him."

God, she was the dramatic one.

"For what?" I asked, already knowing the answer. My mom…

"Esme wants to talk to you. You can't keep running away from her," Alice said, giving me a meaningful look.

"I'm not running away. She has no reason to worry about me," I said tersely.

"She just wants to learn what is happening between me and Bella," I muttered, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah, she does. She thinks that Bella doesn't return your feelings and she is really upset," Alice said, making me feel like an asshole, but come on… I told Mom time and time again that she didn't need to worry about me.

I hated that I made my mother worry, but the truth was that I didn't know what was really happening between me and Bella. I mean, I knew what I wanted, but I still wasn't sure that I managed to convince her completely. Sure, she said that she was ready to give it a chance, making me extremely happy. However, I wasn't the smoothest guy and there was always a chance of me fucking it up.

Everything was up to Bella anyway. I was almost sure that she wouldn't like me going and telling everything to my mom. As much as I wanted to tell it to everyone, I had a feeling that we would keep our relationship to ourselves for a while. I knew she was still wary about me and my feelings. It hurt that she couldn't trust me completely, but I understood her. It pained me to think about all the things I had put her through, and I knew that I wasn't going to betray her trust once again. Everything was going to be as she wanted.

"I think we still need some time to process what is actually going on before we tell our parents," Bella said all of a sudden as if she sensed what I was thinking.

"I thought you were together. Aren't you together? Why hide it?" Alice asked, looking at me with worried eyes and I fought hard to not to roll my eyes at her.

"Yes, we are," Bella said before I had a chance to open my mouth and her instant and confident response caused me to smile like an idiot."We are giving it a chance, but I can't even imagine what my mom's reaction will be if we tell them now. God, she will go crazy. I just need a little time with Edward before all of their craziness."

All I could do was sit there and look at her with a wide smile on my face as she talked. She was just amazing. Amazing… She just surprised the hell out of me with her amazing words, but she always did that. She always surprised me. Pulling her to myself, I pressed a kiss to her forehead and my heart literally skipped a beat when she sighed. I just loved her. It was that simple.

"Aww, that is so sweet," Alice said as I continued to grin like an idiot. "I know Esme won't stop before she gets some answers, though."

"She has to be patient for a while," I said lazily, kissing Bella's head once again.

"She won't stop bothering you, Edward."

I knew Alice had a point. Mom was going crazy, trying to make me spill the beans. I told her that we were fine and she had nothing to worry about, but that didn't stop her from grilling me for more detailed answers.

"Anyway, Esme invited your parents to dinner, Bella. She is going to call and invite you too, but she's a little nervous about it after the fight you had with Edward," Alice rushed out. "I told her that you wouldn't hold it against her, but she is so confused about everything."

"She is just being a dramatic, and you are exactly like her, Alice," I said, rolling my eyes. "She knows Bella likes her."

"I will give her a call," Bella said, giving me a smile. "My mom is freaking out as well. She keeps telling me that you're a nice guy and that I shouldn't let you go away."

"I am a nice guy," I mumbled, kissing her jaw and making her giggle.

"Okay, stop flirting for a second," Alice sang, ignoring the glare I sent her. "The dinner is going to be awkward. They will want answers. What are you going to do?"

"We're going to do this our way and they have to wait."

Alice opened her mouth to ask further questions, but I guess she took the hint when I continued to glare at her. However, her silence lasted for ten seconds.

"Okay, what are our plans for today?" she asked, turning on the tv.

"We had some plans, but I don't think you are involved in our plans," I said teasingly and laughed when she threw a pillow at me.

"Oh, am I interrupting?" She asked,trying to sound hurt, but she was already smiling.

"No, you aren't, Alice," Bella said, giggling. "We were just going to look at a few apartments that Edward found."

"Oh, I know. Esme sent me some photos of those crappy little apartments he found online."

"Well, thank you, Alice," I said sarcastically. "Nice to hear."

"Come on, you can find better than those," she said and took a pink laptop out of her big black bag. "You are just too lazy to search. I have a friend who is a real estate agent. I think he can find you something good."

"Alice, I am capable of finding myself an apartment," I said, annoyed that she was once again intervening, but actually it would be nice if she found me somewhere. I guess I was lazy.

"I saw those apartments. They are awful," she dismissed me once again and began to type furiously.

"Whatever," I grumbled as Bella snickered next to me.

"She is insistent," Bella whispered to my ear.

"No, she is annoying," I said in a loud voice, causing Bella to giggle harder.

"Oh, shut up, Edward. I'm going to find you a great place. You should be grateful," Alice mumbled, not even looking at me.

A few hours later, Alice had a few new options for me that we could look at in a few days and looked very smug. When she finished her research, she dragged me out of Bella's apartment, claiming that she wanted to spend some time with me.

"What do you want?" I barked out once we were in my car.

"Calm down, Edward," she hissed, giving me a glare. "I'm trying to help you here."

"Oh, really? By dragging me out of my girlfriend's aparment? I wanted to spend some time with her!"

"Your girlfrend, huh?" she asked, smiling. "Do you have anything planned for Valentine's day? It's coming up and I have to be sure that you have something great planned after that horrible date," she said in one breath and looked at me expectantly.

"Alice, for God's sake, I… you're still meddling," I groaned and took a deep breath. "Look, I don't want to sound like an asshole because I love you and you helped me a lot about Bella, but my relationship with Bella is so delicate. I feel like I could lose her any moment and I am so fucking scared that she will change her mind about me. It's… it is just so complicated."

"Oh, Edward," Alice sighed, patting my arm. "I am not trying to tell you what to do. I am just trying to help you."

"I feel like a jerk now," I muttered, making Alice snicker.

"So, anyway, do you have something planned?"

"I… well, I thought about something, but it is so cheesy," I mumbled, feeling myself blush. There was no way I was going to talk Alice about this.

God, it was so embarrassing, anyway. I couldn't even believe that I happened to think about something like that in the first place. It was cheesy, corny and maybe a little bit stupid, but I just couldn't let the idea go away from my mind. It was all I could think about ever since I had remembered that Bella had asked me to go to the prom with her.

"Ooh, tell me, come on," Alice cried, sounding really excited.

"You will laugh," I grumbled, starting the car.

"No, I won't. Come on, Edward," Alice whined, jumping up and down on her seat. "I promise I won't laugh."

"Stop jumping! Promise me that you won't tell anyone," I muttered as she nodded furiously.

A few minutes later, she was grinning from ear to ear as I fidgeted nervously.

"You're laughing," I pointed, glaring at her.

"No, I am not laughing, Edward. It is just, wow! I didn't know you had it in you. It is actually quite romantic."

"Isn't it too much?" I asked in a weird, croaking voice. God, what the hell was happening to me? I was turning into a girl. A lovesick girl.

"Oh, my God, Edward! Are you blushing?" Alice laughed, pinching my cheek. "You are so in love. It is so sweet."

"Alice, focus! Is my idea too much?"

"Well, maybe, but, I think Bella will like it. You should definitely do that."

My mind was full of embarrassing ideas as I drove to my parent's house. Yeah, my idea was kind of romantic, but it had the possibility of turning into a nightmare. I didn't know what Bella would think about it, but I hoped she would find it romantic. God, I was sappy.

"Edward, you should talk to your mother," My dad said as soon as we entered the living room. "She is driving me crazy."

"About what?" I asked, trying to sound causal. I needed to escape to my room before Mom found me.

"She is freaking out. She invited Renee and Charlie and she is going to call Bella, too-"

"Oh, you are here!" I heard Mom's voice and turned around to look at her.

"Yeah, Mom. How are you?"

"Edward, I invited her parents, but is it okay for me to invite, Bella? I mean, I know you said it is complicated between you two, but it would be extremely rude if I didn't invite her."

"Mom, calm down," I said, throwing my arm around her shoulders. "Of course, we will invite, Bella."

"Oh, okay," she said, sounding relieved.

"I told you," Dad said in a smug tone.

"Did you talk to her?" Mom asked in a voice so hopeful that I had to smile.

"Yeah, we talked."

"And?" Mom prodded, sounding extremely curious.

"It is still complicated, Mom, but we are talking, okay," I said, trying to placate her.

"I am sure she loves you back, "she said, giving me a sad smile and patting my cheek.

"You should give her a hint. She thinks her son is in love with someone who doesn't love her back and this is hurting her," Alice hissed once we were alone.

"When we are going to tell people is up to Bella. Delicate, remember?"

"I don't think you're delicate. You just don't know how strong you are when you are together."

With these words, Alice left, leaving me with a lot of things to think about.

My mother's bickering woke me up the following morning. She tended to freak out whenever we had guests over and I could see that she was extra nervous this time. After making me clean my room throughly and water the plants in the garden, she manipulated me into helping her in the kitchen. I didn't know how I ended up there, but I found myself mashing vegetables and stirring the soup in the kitchen.

"The woman you're going to marry is one lucky lady," Mom suddenly said, making me nearly choke on my saliva. What the hell?

"Thanks, Mom," I managed to croak out, feeling awkward as hell. This thing was getting ridiculous.

"You're intelligent, handsome. You have a good heart and you can cook," she said, winking at me.

"Okay, Mom, thanks, I guess," I mumbled once again, looking everywhere but her. This was getting more awkward with each second.

"I know you love her, and I think she loves you too. You can never know what life will give you, though. I just want you to stay positive and be yourself," she said, sounding like she was about to cry.

"Mom, come on," I said, opening my arms and she nearly ran towards me to hug me.

"It was just so cute, seeing you telling her that you love her. I just wish you two to be happy," she said, sniffing. "Renee says that she has hope, but I can't stand to see you upset."

"Mom, I am not upset," I said, cupping her cheeks. "I swear I am fine."

"You know, it didn't surprise me when you shouted that you loved her. I always knew. It was always Bella for you. It is her for you," she said, giving me a watery smile.

"Well, I guess, it was really obvious," I said as she nodded, smiling.

"It is so obvious and I have hope that she will see that."

"Thanks, Mom," I muttered, feeling like shit that I was keeping it from her. However, Bella was right. Telling our mothers would be like giving them permission to plan our wedding. They wouldn't know where or when to stop and it would drive us crazy.

"Oh, Edward, Steve and Jane are coming as well. They called this morning and I couldn't say no," Mom said, looking at me apologeticly.

"Mom," I groaned, taking a deep breath. It was going to be long night. Steve was my dad's co worker. He was okay and I liked his wife, Jane. However, their daughter was a pain in the ass. "Is Maggie coming too?"

"Well, I guess," Mom said, trying to stiffle her laugh. "I am sure she won't miss the chance of seeing you."

"Oh, God, help me," I muttered as my mother burst into giggles.

Maggie was the most irritating woman I had ever met in my entire life. Whenever we happened to be in the same room, all she did was stare at me, smirk and make inappropriate comments. That was creepy as hell.

"Jane says she is dating some man. I am sure she won't make you uncomfortable this time."

"I hope so, Mom."

I hoped so, but, still, I should have known better. Maggie and her family arrived before the Swans and Maggie kept looking at me whenever she thought I wasn't looking. Creepy. Just as she took a step towards my direction, Mom entered the room with a bright smile.

"Renee and Charlie is here. Bella is with them," she announced, making me stand up abruptly and Dad chuckle on my behalf.

"Charlie, Renee, welcome," my dad greeted them as they entered the living room. "Bella, looking as pretty as always."

"Hi, Carlisle," Bella said, turning into a beautiful pink. I knew people around us were talking and hugging each other, but all I could see was Bella. She looked amazing in her long purple dress and her beautiful hair made me want to kiss her. There was no word other than beautiful to describe her.

"Bella, hi," I breathed out, making a move to hug her and she put her arms around my neck. I was aware that everyone was watching us, but I didn't find it inside me to care. She was amazing and she was mine. "You look breathtakingly beautiful."

"Oh, you're so smooth," she said, giggling and kissed my cheek. "Thank you."

"It's the truth," I mumbled, kissing her cheek. "Beautiful."

"Thank you," she whispered again and gave me a beautiful smile.

"How are you doing, Edward?" I heard Charlie's voice behind me and stiffined.

"Hi, Charlie. I'm great. How are you?"

"Doing good," he muttered, looking at me with narrowed eyes. "I'm good as long as Bella continues to smile. She is precious to me. I don't know if I can make myself clear," he said, kissing Bella's temple as she rolled her eyes.

"Dad, stop trying to intimidate him," Bella said, giving her father a soft smile. "You know you like Edward."

"I was just trying to have a conversation with him," Charlie grumbled and walked away.

"Sure," Bella shouted after him, rolling her eyes once again.

"He's just trying to warn me," I said, grabbing Bella's hand. "There is no harm in that."

"He is being ridiculous. Mom is being, too. I know tonight's going to be weird."

"Well, I know it, believe me," I sighed. "Mom cornered me in the kitchen and told me how awesome I am," I said, rolling my eyes as Bella snickered.

"Well, I guess she is a little biased."

"A little?" I asked, trying to supress the need to kiss her.

"Yeah, only a little."

"I really want to kiss you right now," I blurted out without really thinking and grinned as her face got pinker.

"We have to stay discreet for now, Edward. Can you imagine what our mothers would do if they knew about us?" she asked in horror, making me nearly shiver. Well, I guess she wasn't aware that we were standing in a crowded room and holding hands.

Thankfully, noone approached us about this and we were in our own bubble until we started eating. That was when everything started to go wrong.

"So, Edward, how are you?" Maggie asked in a weird voice, causing me to nearly choke on my wine.

"Good, thank you," I croaked out, trying to be polite, but I was freaking out. I knew there was more to come. I could feel it.

"So, you finally graduated? You are an architect now. That is so hot," she said in a whiny voice as my eyes bugged out of my head. What the hell was she talking about? Hot?

"Yeah, I graduated," I muttered, feeling all kinds of awkward.

"I heard that you're going to work with my dad and Carlisle. Awesome. We will be able to see each other more often."

"Umm, I guess," I mumbled, feeling Bella's eyes on me. Shit, I was sure she was going to grill me about this later. What Maggie said next was the worst though.

"Why don't we go out tomorrow night?"

My mother must have sensed the horror I felt because she interrupted me before I could say anything.

"Do you want some more rice, Maggie?"

"Oh, no thank you, Esme. I am trying to lose a few pounds."

I heard Bella snort really loudly next to me. I knew she hated skinny girls who were always on a diet and that wasn't the only reason for her to dislike Maggie. She was just plain annoying. As discreetly as I could, I grabbed her hand under the table and gave her a soothing look.

"So, what was I talking about? Oh,how about tomorrow night, Edward?" Maggie asked once again, obviously oblivious to Bella's glare.

"I don't think it is a good idea, Maggie," I answered, giving her a forced smile. God, why me?

"Why? Do you have a girlfriend or something?" she asked as she took a bite of her salad. What the hell was wrong with this girl? Why did she have to do this now?

"Well, I…" I muttered, not really knowing what to say. "I have so many things to do. You know I am just moving back to the city."

"Oh, come on. One night of fun. It will be good for you before you start working your ass off."

"Maybe you should shut up and eat some rice," Bella said, taking a sip from her wine and gave Maggie a large, frightening smile, making my mouth drop open in shock. It wasn't like Bella at all.

"Excuse me, I was talking to Edward. Did I ask for your opinion?" Maggie asked harshly, not even aware that Bella was about to lash out on her. However, I knew Bella well enough to know that she was about to lose it. It was obvious from her bright red face, from her shaking hands and from the way she drank all of her wine.

"You know what? I am sick and tired of watching girls like you try to get his attention. What you don't understand is that you look and sound pathetic. It's clear that you're making him uncomfortable. God, you're making everyone uncomfortable. So, please, shut up," Bella said in a breath and finished the rest of her wine as I just gaped at her. That was kind of hot…

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Maggie asked, sounding really offended and I nearly barked out a laugh in joy. Well, maybe it was the joy I felt that made me blurt out the next sentence.

"Well, Maggie, she is my girlfriend."

* * *

><p>Hi, everyone!<p>

I am so sorry it took me so long to update, but I barely have time to write. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapters. Your kind words encourage me to write more. Thank you so much.

Have a great Sunday!

E.


	16. Chapter 16

**NOTE: This chapter isn't edited, so I am sure there are many mistakes in it. Please tell me if it is too bad. Thanks a lot for reading!**

* * *

><p><strong>Seven Years<strong>

BPOV

There were times when I didn't understand why I was in love with Edward and it was one of those times right now. He was a great guy, but he could be a real jerk sometimes. A thoughtless jerk. Like right now. God, I just wanted to kick his ass. Jerk!

Did he just say that? Did he just announce it in front of everyone? Really? For a moment, I just wished that I had heard him wrong, but I guess he really said that out loud. As much as I didn't want to believe that, the awkward silence in the room and the dumbfounded, silly look on Edward's face proved that to me. I just couldn't believe he could be this thoughtless.

"I can't believe you, Edward," I hissed, not even looking at him.

"Bella?" he croaked out, but I was determined to not to look at him. I was beyond angry right now.

"Shut up," I whispered back as I tried to avoid my mom's eager gaze.

As soon as the words left Edward's mouth, everyone turned to look at us. Esme let out a loud gasp and my mother looked like she was hardly preventing herself from jumping up and down. I knew they would ask all kinds of questions and it was going to be a really long night thanks to Edward.

"Oh, I didn't know that," Maggie suddenly said in a weak voice, surprising me. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay," I mumbled when I managed to open my mouth.

A part of me still wanted to choke Edward to death, but the dumbfounded look on Maggie's face kept me from jumping on him. I even started to feel a little smug, to tell the truth. He may have ruined tonight, but the look on Maggie's face was kind of worth it. She knew he was mine. Yeah, he was mine! The smug feeling lasted until my mother opened her mouth and started asking me questions about us, making me want to hurt Edward once again. He was definitely a jerk…

"Bella,sweetheart, when did this happen? Why didn't you tell me something, baby? And we were thinking that you weren't talking to each other and we were so upset! How can you keep this from us, guys? We have been dying to get these news! Esme, say something." Mom wailed, glowing with joy.

With my mother's encouragement, Esme started her attack and we were completely cornered.

"I understand you wanted a little time to yourselves, but we were so worried," Esme said with misty eyes. She looked like she was about to burst into tears and I felt like shit.

"Edward, see what you did, " I hissed as Esme kept looking at us, waiting for some answers. God, I didn't know what the hell they were expecting to hear. There was nothing to tell now.

"I'm so sorry, Bella, " he whispered back, looking shocked. As if he didn't know this would happen. It was all his fault.

"Ladies, I think that's enough for tonight," Dad intervened just as I was about to open my mouth and say something very stupid. "We all knew something was going on between these two, so this is not surprising news. Just leave them alone."

I wanted to run and hug my father. I loved my father!

"But, we've been worrying so much, Charlie," Mom said as Esme nodded eagerly next to her. I knew they wouldn't give up without getting some good answers from us.

"There's nothing to worry about, Mom," I said and let out a huge sigh when they kept looking at me with wide eyes.

I guess we had to tell them something to make them stop asking more questions tonight. "It is just new and we're trying to get used to it. We're okay," I mumbled, feeling my face burn with embarrassment. I hated that we were talking about this when there were complete strangers in the room.

"Yeah, we are completely okay," Edward said in a weird voice as I threw him a dirty look. Well, he knew we weren't completely okay now.

It was obvious from their faces that Mom and Esme were dying to talk about this more, but they had to keep their thoughts and questions to themselves since Carlisle politely reminded that there were other people who heard all of this conversation. That didn't mean that Mom and Esme stopped though. They kept giving us subtle looks during the dinner and they burst into giggles of joy whenever they saw Edward trying to talk to me. Saying that it was the most awkward dinner wouldn't be an exageration.

After sitting through that torture, I had to go outside to get some much needed fresh air. I had a headache and I was barely keeping myself from slapping the shit out of Edward. I just needed to be alone for a while, but Edward didn't have the intention to let me be alone for even a second.

"Bella, I'm really sorry," he groaned, sitting next to me and grabbed my hand when I attempted to leave.

"I'm not talking to you. Go away," I muttered, not looking at him.

"Bella, come on. I didn't mean to do that. It just slipped. She… Maggie was so annoying that I just blurted it out," he said, leaning closer to me with each word he said. "I made sure that she knew I was yours. Is that too bad?"

"Really smooth, Edward," I said in a bored voice.

I tried really hard to not to look at him, but my resolve vanished when he put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me towards him. The second I saw his pleading eyes, I was so gone that it wasn't funny.

"So stupid," I muttered, shaking my head.

"I know. I'm so sorry," he said, looking right into my eyes.

"It wasn't the time or the place to blurt that out, Edward. You saw what happened."

"I did and I can't apologize enough. I know you think I'm reckess and stupid, and maybe I really am. I'm so sorry that they all found out about us that way, but I'm not sorry that they know now. They can ask whatever the hell they want to. I love you and I want this thing to work. That is all I can tell them. Is it too bad?" he asked, grabbing my hand.

The way he looked at me was so tender, so loving that I couldn't help giving him an enormous smile. Sometimes, he could be the biggest jerk in the whole world, but I loved him so much. Sometimes, he did things that made me see red, but they didn't matter in the end. They didn't matter as long as he continued to look at me like this.

"No, it's not too bad, Edward," I said, cupping his cheek with my palm. "I just wanted to keep our relationship to ourselves for a little while longer and you knew that. That's all."

"I know, Bella, and I'm so sorry for that. I hope you aren't too mad," he muttered, making a move to kiss me.

"I'm a little mad at you now, but as you know very well that I tend to forgive you very easily. I'm stupid that way," I said, snorting.

"Don't call yourself stupid. I'm the stupid one," he whispered as our faces got closer. "Maybe, I should do something to make you forgive me. Maybe I should kiss you."

"Hmm, maybe," I whimpered as his lips met mine.

"Do you forgive me now?" He asked, breaking the kiss and giving me a coy smile.

"I don't know. Maybe you should try harder," I said in a breathless voice and our lips met once again.

"Bella, honey, where are you? We are leaving. Do you want to come with us?" I heard my Mom yell, and pushed Edward away from me.

"Bella?" Mom asked once again, her giggles making it obvious that she saw us kissing.

"Mom, hi. Yeah, I'll come with you. I need a ride to my home," I said, standing up, but Edward grabbed my hand. "What?"

"I can drive you home later if you want to spend some time together," he said, looking at me and then my mother. "It's not very late. What do you say?"

"Okay," I muttered in a small voice as my heart leapt in joy. He didn't want me to go! Hell, he managed to turn me into a lovesick girl with a few words and a smile. How could he have this much effect on me?

"You can go, Mom. Thanks for asking me, though," I said to my mom and the wide smirk on her face made me blush.

"Okay, then, see you later, honey. Have fun. Be careful," she chirped, kissing my cheek and Edward's and making me blush even more in the process. She thought she was so subtle. God, I knew she was going to call me tomorrow and I could imagine what our conversation would be like.

"So, what do you want to do?" Edward asked when we were alone.

"I don't know," I said. I wanted to have some time with him to talk, but I knew that we wouldn't be alone here. We could go to a cafe or a bar, but they would be crowded at this hour and we wouldn't be alone.

"Do you want to come to my house?" I suggested, suddenly feeling very shy. "We can spend some time there. We can talk or watch a movie."

"What are you suggesting, Bella Swan?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows and giving me a huge smile. Asshole.

"Oh, shut the hell up, Edward. We can have some privacy in my home," I shrieked, causing his smile to get even bigger.

"Really, privacy?" he asked again with a cheeky expression and this time I hit his arm.

"God, Edward, stop it!" I groaned and stood up. "I'm leaving now. Stay here and laugh all you want. Bye!"

"Okay, sorry, don't go," he said, chuckling and taking my hand. "Wait for me! We can watch a movie. In your house."

"Okay, jerk," I groaned as he kept snickering. "You are so annoying today."

"No, I'm lovely as usual."

"No, you're an idiot."

A couple of hours later, we were in my bedroom and it was me who was snickering this time. Since I was still a little pissed at Edward, I chose a movie that I knew he would hate and I was having a great time. It was a romantic movie about vampires. It was one of my favorites and I liked it even more now because Edward looked like he was about to cry any moment.

We were sitting on my bed and his head was on my shoulder, causing me to get distracted. Letting out a sigh which made me tingle all over, he kissed my neck.

"Edward, I'm trying to watch this," I said, trying to give him a stern look.

"Bella, come on! This is fucking boring. Are you really enjoying this?" he whined, pressing another hot kiss to my neck. No, I wasn't going to cave this time.

"Edward, shut up, please," I muttered. "I love this movie. It is so romantic."

"Yeah, so romantic," he said in a mocking voice and huffed loudly.

There was a few seconds of silence before he spoke again.

"Anyway, the view is good from here. I am not interested in the movie."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, looking at him and then I realised the tank top I was wearing showed him everything. He could easily see the tops of my breasts.

"God, Edward," I barked, pushing him away from me as he burst into laughter. "Can you please be quiet and pay attention to the movie instead of me? Maybe, you'll enjoy it."

"I was enjoying what I was seeing a few seconds ago," he said, smirking lazily and causing me to blush like crazy.

"You're impossible," I muttered and turned back to look at the television.

"Okay, I'm shutting up, now," he said in a sweet voice and put his head on my shoulder once again, ignoring my protests.

As much as I pretended to push him away from me, I loved being that close to him. I loved that he found me attractive. I loved feeling his breath on my skin. Surprisingly, he was silent for the rest of the movie, but that didn't mean that he didn't distract me. His warmth was more distracting than his words could ever be.

The ending of the movie managed to capture our interest, though. The characters were going to their prom and it was an extremely fluffy, romantic scene. I tried to play it cool, but I was nowhere near being cool. The scene was like a slap to my face. The characters were too happy, in love. Although we talked about it a few times, I knew that the prom thing was something that still bothered both of us.

I knew it was someting in the past and I should have let it go. Hell, I thought I was over it, but watching these scene with Edward beside me made me realise that I still felt longing for that. I was still the same girl who longed to go to the prom with Edward. A few years may have passed, but I was still the same girl.

I still remembered how much it hurt to wait for his answer and the disappointment I felt when it dawned on me that he would never reply. It was still fresh in my mind. I could still feel that pain when I thought about those moments. Just as my eyes started to fill with tears of anger, I felt Edward press a kiss to my shoulder, making me smile. Yeah, it still hurt sometimes, but I didn't want to live in the past anymore. I wanted to enjoy my life with Edward.

"So, the torture is over," I said as the film finished. I was trying to lighten the mood, but my voice was weird even to my own ears. Too fake. Too cheerful.

"Come here," he said suddenly, wrapping his arms around my body.

"Come on, the movie wasn't that bad," I tried to joke again and scoffed at my lame attempt.

"It was horrible and you know it," he said as he took my hands in his. "I know you have a crush on the leading actor."

"I don't," I said, giggling as he rolled his eyes.

"I know even if you never told me. You have watched all of his movies."

"That's because he's a good actor," I defended myself and he rolled his eyes this time.

"Anyway, I should go," he said, standing up. "Thanks a lot for tonight."

The words got out of my mouth before I could stop myself. "You can stay if you want to."

A small smile graced his lips as he wrapped his arms around me once again. "I would like to, but I have to go home. I'll call you tomorrow," he sighed, kissing my head.

"Okay, goodnight," I mumbled, inhaling his wonderful scent.

The following morning, the sound of my phone woke me up. At first, I thought it was my mother and I was determined to ignore the call, but it started to get annoying when it didn't stop ringing. Seeing Edward's name on the screen made my morning a little better, but I was still cranky. I never liked waking up early and Edward's chipper voice annoyed the hell out of me.

"What do you want, Edward? It is nine in the morning, " I groaned, hugging my pillow to my chest and closing my eyes.

"Well, good morning, honey," Edward said in a voice that was so cheerful that I cringed. Why was he so happy when he was supposed to be asleep?

"Good morning. What do you want?" I asked again in a rather rude voice, but I couldn't actually care. If his laughter was any indication, he didn't seem to care, either.

"Do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm staying at home."

"No, you're not. We have plans," he said, sounding so sure of himself that I could kick his ass.

"Edward, it's too early for this," I grumbled, throwing the blankets and sitting up on the bed. "Can we talk later when I wake up?"

"We can talk whenever you want, love, but just tell me that you will meet me tonight," he rushed out in a sweet voice and I was smiling. Damn him!

Love… My heart leapt in joy whenever he used that term. It was so endearing, so lovely. So cunning. He knew how to make me say yes.

"Okay, Edward, I will meet you tonight," I said, letting out a huge yawn. "What are we doing?"

"It's a surprise. Just wear a dress, okay?" He sounded really excited and I was curious.

"A dress? Are we going somewhere fancy?" I asked, dreading the answer. I didn't have many dresses.

"Yeah, somewhere really fancy. You look beautiful in that white dress that you bought when we last went to the mall with Alice."

"It isn't white. It's beige," I said, going towards my wardrobe and eyeing the dress. "It makes me look fatter than I already am. I only bought it because you didn't shut up about it. It's so obvious that you and Alice are related."

"Bella, you look gorgeous in it because you're a gorgeous woman," he said in a smooth voice which made me roll my eyes, but I smiled at the same time. I knew it wasn't true, but hearing it from him always felt awesome.

"I need to go now. I'll pick you up at seven, okay?"

"Okay, wait, are you going to wear a suit?" I asked, hoping that he would say yes. He looked amazing in a suit. Just amazing.

"Yeah, I'll wear a suit."

After hearing that information, I spent nearly all of the day getting ready. I knew he would look amazing in a suit, and the least I could do was try to look great as well. I didn't know why the hell Edward liked that dress on me, but I decided to put it on anyway. It was a long beige dress which had lace details. It was elegant, that was for sure, but it would look great on someone who was thinner than me. Anyway, I didn't have many other fancy dresses and I was going to wear this one whether I liked it or not.

Once I decided on the dress, I curled my hair and put on some make up. I loved how good red lipstick looked on my pale skin. Finding a pair of appropriate shoes, I was ready to go. Taking a picture of myself, I sent it to Rosalie and asked her opinion.

_OMG! You look so beautiful. I love your hair. So hot._

Her response made me feel a lot better. I grinned as my phone beeped again, indicating that I had another text message. It was from Edward this time and I stopped grinning the moment I read it.

_Hi, Bella. I know it may sound weird, but will you be my date for prom tonight?_

Prom? What the hell was he talking about? Was this some kind of a joke? A feeling of dread and embarrassment rushed over to me as I angrily dialled his number to ask him what was going on. I got another message from him just as I was about to press the call button.

_Don't make me wait, Bella. Just say yes. Please._

Letting out a huge sigh, I sat down, barely keeping myself from crying. He was an asshole. What the hell was he trying to do? My phone chirped with another text message.

_I'm waiting for you you come, please?_

Putting my shoes and grabbing my coat, I rushed outside, ready to kick Edward's ass, but I froze the moment I saw him. He was waiting next to his car wearing the most amazing looking suit ever with a black trench coat. He had a box in his hands.

"What is going on, Edward?" I asked, trying to control my breathing. "Prom? Really?"

"You look breathtaking," he said, instead of answering and walked towards me.

"Edward, what is going on?" I tried again as my heart beat nervously in my chest.

"Yeah, tonight is our own prom," he said, sounding nervous. "I have something for you."

He opened the box and pulled out the most amazing looking bracelet. It was adorned with shiny stones which were shaped like little flowers.

"I wanted to bring you some real flowers, but I saw this and I thought you might like it more, " he said, giving me a soft look.

"It's beautiful," I managed to mumble as I tried to keep myself from crying. "I love it."

"I'm glad." He smiled and helped me put the bracelet on.

"I can't stop staring at it," I admitted and Edward smiled, taking my hand.

"Let's go!"

"Isn't this Carlisle's car?" I asked as he opened the door for me.

"Yeah, mine isn't good enough for this occasion," he mumbled, making me grin. He was so cute.

We got into the car and went to a restraurant. It looked very chic, but it was completely empty. I threw Edward a questioning look, but he ignored me and helped me in.

"Here, this is our table," he said, indicating the table which was covered with flower petals and beautiful looking candles.

"This all looks so beautiful and romantic, but why is this place empty?" I asked, looking around.

"Because, it's ours for tonight." Edward stated, looking proud.

"Ours?" I asked in awe.

"A close friend of my mother owns this place. She let me use it for tonight."

"So, this is our prom?" I asked as my eyes wandered around the place. There was a black piano in the corner and I grinned to myself. Maybe, Edward would finally play something for me tonight.

"Yeah, I know it is kind of lame, but…" he stuttered, looking adorable.

"I love it," I breathed out,taking his hand.

It was true. I loved that he thought all of these. All my initial dread and suspicion was gone and all I was feeling right now was hope and love. This moment was something I imagined so many times and it was finally happening. Well, it wasn't a normal prom, but it was our prom. It was unique. It was just for us. This was something Edward did for me and I wouldn't change it for anything.

"I saw your face when we watched that move last night, Bella. There was a small smile on your lips and I saw the longing in your eyes. I hate myself for ruining your prom," he said in a fiery tone and shook his head. "I was so stupid to let you go. There are so many things that I shouldn't have done. I regret…"

"Edward, it was years ago," I said in a soothing voice, stroking his hand. It shocked me that he was so aware of me, my needs. It never occured to me that he would be this thoughtful. He always managed to surprise me. I had to admit there was a brief moment when I felt upset during that scene, but this was more wonderful than any movie scene could ever be.

"Yeah, it was long ago, but I can't… Sometimes, I remember the things I did and they drive me insane," he admitted, playing with my hands. "I want us to have the best of everything. I will do everything to make you happy. We're here because I want us to have that prom together this time," he said in one breath, as his eyes got teary. "I sound like an idiot, don't I?"

"No, you don't," I whispered, my eyes filling with tears of joy. "You sound amazing. Thank you, Edward."

"I love you," he said in response as a tear finally escaped from my eye.

"I love you, too." I sniffed, wiping my cheeks. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"You have no idea how much you mean to me," he said in return and kissed my hand.

We spent the night talking and eating and it was actually a lot better than my actual prom night. I even convinced Edward to play something for me and he was amazing even if he kept claiming that he sucked. It was the best night of my life. There were no words to describle what I felt.

"It's the best night of my life," I whispered to him as we danced slowly.

"It's the best night of my life," he repeated my words, making me smile. "Thank you for loving me, Bella."

He didn't need to thank. It was effortless.

* * *

><p>Hello, everyone!<p>

First, I am really sorry that I haven't uploaded a chapter in a really long time. I have no excuses. I am just very very busy. Now that it is finally summer, I think I will finally finish this story. And then Ideal Husband.

I want to thank everyone who still reads and reviews this story. You are great! I'm really looking forward to hearing what you think about this chapter.

Have a great day!

E.


	17. Chapter 17

**Note: This chapter isn't edited. I am sure there are so many mistakes. Please tell me if it is too bad. Thank you for reading!**

* * *

><p>Seven Years<p>

BPOV

I woke up with a huge smile on my face today and couldn't stop grinning ever since. The excitement, love that I felt was nothing like I had known before. What I was feeling was brand new and I liked it. For the first time in my life, I was in a solid relationship with a man I loved. God, he was more than a man I loved. He was Edward. He was the only guy that managed to drive me crazy with one look, one word.

I used to make fun of girls who spent their time talking or dreaming about their boyfriends, but I guess I understood them now. No matter how hard I tried to engage my mind with other things, I always ended up thinking about Edward. I still has some insecurities when it came to our relationship. They weren't about trust now though. I trusted him. I was willing to take the chance even if that meant there there was always a chance of him or me fucking up everything. The thing that bothered me was entirely different and it all started last night after prom.

There weren't any words to describe how amazing our fake prom was. It was one of the best nights of my life and I would treasure it as long as I lived, but it left me with some big questions. Not that I had never thought about those kind of things. It was more real this time though. I knew I had to face this issue sooner or later.

I invited Edward inside last night and it wasn't surprising that we started making out the minute we were inside, however, this time it was friskier than usual. It was entirely different from other times that we had kissed. Edward's hands were everywhere and I was really bold as well. We ended up on the couch, with me on top of Edward, and everything escalated quickly after that. It was only when I felt something that I had never felt before that we stopped and took a breath.

At first, I didn't really understand what I was feeling and I only got it when I noticed that Edward was blushing. I let out a surprised yelp and started to blush too. It was awkward from then on until Edward left after apologising profusely. It was kind of embarrassing, but kind of funny at the same time. However, that night left me with so many questions about my future with Edward.

It may sound like a small thing, but it wasn't small for me. I had had boyfriends before, but we had never done anything other than just kissing. Hell, I never wanted to do anything other than kissing. Until now. I knew I wanted to be intimate with Edward. I wanted to be him in every possible way. I just didn't know if I was ready to take that step. It wasn't because I didn't trust him. It was only because that the thought of being with him like that scared the hell out of me and the only reason was my physical appearence. Thankfully, Edward wasn't the type of guy who would push me into doing something I wasn't ready. God, even thinking about him make me grin like an idiot.

"So, Bella, what are you grinning about?" Rose asked, making me jump. I forgot that Rose and Alice was with me and we were in a crowded cafe. She raised an eyebrow and gave me a funny look when I sighed like a lovesick fool.

"I'm just happy," I sighed again, giving her an even bigger smile and making Alice let out a giggle.

"Come on! It is obvious something has happened. You have to tell us." Rose insisted, giving me a wide eyed look.

They had been bothering the hell out of me ever since we sat down to eat, but I actually enjoyed the attention. Of course, I was going to tell them everything eventually. Hell, I was dying to tell them what happened. It was so nice to have a story to tell for once. I had been listening to their romantic tales for so long and now it was my turn. I really felt like a girl right now.

"Well, something happened last night," I drawled, snickering at the expressions on their faces. They looked extremely frustrated and curious.

"Bella, just spill it, please," Rose groaned, slapping my arm as my eyes got caught on her diamond ring.

God, I hated myself for feeling like this, but I just couldn't help it. After Edward left last night, I spent the night thinking about our future and it may sound absolutely pathetic, but marriage was in my thoughts. Even the thought of spending the rest of my life with him gave me such happiness that I couldn't help but dream about it more.

"You are glowing," Alice whispered in shock, catching me staring at Rose's ring. "Did Edward propose?" She suddenly shireked as my mouth dropped open.

"What? Did he?" Rose cried before I could even open my mouth to say something. "When did this happen? How did he propose?"

"Guys, calm down," I managed to say as they kept looking at me with surprised faces. "He didn't propose, but he did something amazing."

"Okay, stop swooning and tell us," Rose begged, grabbing my hand.

"Well, we went to the prom together," I said, smiling as if that was the most normal thing to say and burst into laughter when their mouths dropped open in surprise.

"What are you talking about?"

I started telling them my prom story and we all had big smiles on our faces by the time I told them all of it. That night was like a fairy tale come true for me and telling it to my friends made me feel lucky all over again. Well, I might have exaggerated some things when I was relaying the story, but the main idea was the same. It was the greatest night ever.

"So, that's it," I said in a soft voice as my eyes filled with tears of joy. "It was a great night."

"Let me look at your bracelet," Alice said, sounding like she was about to burst into tears as well.

"It's so chic. I can't believe that he chose this himself. He is so sneaky. So romantic," Alice rushed out when I showed them my bracelet.

"It's beautiful," Rose cooed, squeezing my hand.

"I know. I will always wear it," I whispered, tracing the flowery shapes.

"I can't believe he thought something like this," Alice sniffed, making Rose and me chuckle. "I guess I should have guessed considering that Uncle Carlisle is quite romantic. He is his father's son. God, I am just so proud of him and I am just so happy for both of you. You deserve to be happy."

"Thank you, Alice. For everything," I said, really meaning it.

She may be annoying sometimes, but I knew she meant well. She always wanted the best for me and Edward even if her way of showing it wasn't always normal. She was a true friend.

After we finished eating our lunch, Alice left and went to meet with Jasper. I was kind of thankful that I was finally alone with Rose. I had some things to ask and I knew I couldn't ask those when Alice was with us. Edward was her cousin after all. I was sure that Rose would understand me, but I didn't know how to approach the topic.

Rosalie ordered a huge slice of cheesecake and was eating it like there was no tomorrow. I just wanted to ask her directly, but the more I waited, the more hesitant I became. God, I needed to ask her right now.

"Rose, can I ask you something?" I mumbled, hesitantly. God, this would be embarrassing, but I didn't have anyone else to ask.

"What is it?" Rose asked as she continued to shovel her cheesecake into her mouth.

"I… I wonder… God, this is so humiliating," I sighed, feeling awkward. "It's about Edward."

"I figured it," Rose said, giving me an encouraging smile. "Just ask me, Bella. You don't need to get all nervous. You are my best friend."

"It is not about you. It is just pathetic. I know about Edward's past relationships, but I know nothing about his… you know…" I mumbled, feeling my face turn into an awful shade of pink.

"You mean, like sex?" Rose asked bluntly as I cringed in embarrassment.

"Yeah, kind of," I mumbled. "I'm sure he has had sex before. I just want to know when. Who were they? Did he love them? Is it wrong to ask? Am I too weird?" I asked, tentatively.

"No, it isn't wrong and you're not weird at all. It's only normal that you want to know everything about the man you are dating," Rose said soothingly, but it still felt weird.

"How can I ask him, Rose? I can't just go and ask him," I whined, suddenly feeling utterly shy. Rose was my best friend, but we didn't talk about this kind of things too often since I had no love life before and she kept her personal life to herself most of the time.

"Why not?" Rose asked, winking. "He's your boyfriend. You should be able to talk about conversation might turn out to be actually interesting."

"Interesting?" I huffed, giving her a questioning look. It would only be awkward and embarrassing.

"I just love seeing him squirm," she said, shrugging. "You will have to talk about these kind of things sooner or later, honey. You should just relax."

"I know… it is just… I have loved him for so long and we have always been good friends. It is just… suddenly talking about this shit feels awkward," I mumbled, looking at my bracelet.

"Bella, he isn't just your friend anymore. He is your boyfriend. You can share anything with him. The thing is… are you ready to be intimate with him?" Rosalie suddenly asked, making me choke on my latte.

"I don't know. Sometimes, I feel like I am not ready, but there are times that I just want to jump on him," I muttered, causing Rose to snicker.

"You're attracted to him, but you also want to trust him completely before you take that step," she commented.

"Yeah,but I trust him. It's just… I want to wait and be completely sure, you know? God, I am a prude, aren't I?" I said, making Rose laugh even more.

"You're not a prude. You don't have to do it if you don't want to. You want to share it with the man you love and you're waiting for the right time. What's wrong with that?"

"I'm also waiting to lose some weight before I let him see me naked," I mumbled, but Rose heard me anyway.

"We have talked about this before, Bella," she sighed, sounding tired. We spent hours talking about my weight and appearence, and she kept complimenting me, but that didn't mean that I was secure about my physical appearence.

I happened to wear some revealing things when I was with Edward before, like shorts and stuff. Well, I even wore a bikini around him, but this was much more different. Even the thought of letting him see me like that made my stomach churn. All of my doubts and insecurities came roaring back to me with vengeance. I didn't know what the hell to do.

"I know, I know… It's just… You may think I look okay. Edward may think I look beautiful, but I don't think so. I have every reason to be insecure," I whispered, looking at my nails.

I knew I was pretty. I was a girly girl. I liked clothes, make up and jewelry, but those didn't mean shit when all I could see was my big thighs or my protruding stomach. Having a beautiful face didn't mean anything when you were chubby.

"It's not just you, B. All women are insecure," Rose said, giving me a small smile. "I am insecure too."

"You don't have any reason to be insecure," I snorted, looking at her. She was one of the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life.

"Really? I can count a hundred things that I don't like about my body."

"Rose, come on. It's not the same. You're thin, gorgeous. Emmett worships you," I said, feeling exasperated. I knew I was being shallow, but it was the truth.

"No matter what I say, you will continue to believe what you want, right?" Rose said, making a show of rolling her eyes. "You are a beautiful woman who happens to have a magnificient, curvy body. Edward loves you. He loves your body. He loves your butt," she added, causing me to giggle.

"I will sound like an idiot, but I feel like I don't deserve him when I look at him, Rose. He is just so handsome."

"Shut the hell up. You sound like an idiot," Rose groaned, smacking my head in the middle of the crowded cafe. "It's him who doesn't deserve you. He's lucky that a gorgeous woman like you loves him this much."

"Rose,-"

"Don't even say anything. Just accept the truth," she said, narrowing her eyes.

"I was thinking about going to the gym for a little bit."

"Go if you want to, but don't go for Edward. Go for yourself," she warned, shaking her head. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. He loves you the way you are."

"He never made me feel insecure. He's always so sweet. It is me who isn't comfortable. Why do I have to be chubby?" I moaned, taking a sip of my caramel latte. Yep, it was one of the reasons I was chubby.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?" Rose groaned, giving me a glare. "You aren't chubby."

As much as I wanted to believe Rose, I knew I couldn't. Between all the drama with Edward and work, I didn't really take care of my body and I put on a few pounds in the last few weeks. I hated it. I hated that weight was something that I had to struggle all the time. I hated that I wasn't comfortable in my own body. My weight had never been something that made my life miserable, but still I wasn't happy with it.

Why couldn't I be more like Alice or Rosalie? Alice ate whatever she wanted without worrying over it. Hell, Rose ate almost as much as Emmett and she was still thin. Anyway…

Rose and I said goodbye to each other, promising to meet again in a few days. When I arrived my home that afternoon, there was nothing to do other than sitting around lazily, so I decided to do something for myself. I decided to go for a run. I needed to run after that caramel latte, anyway. Changing into a pair of sweatpants and a comfortable hoodie, I grabbed my sunglasses just as the doorbell rang.

I opened the door, fearing that it was my mom, but it was Edward.

"Hello," I said as he walked inside, giving me a huge grin. He looked really happy and the sight of him lifted my spirits.

"Hi, where are you going?" Edward chimed, kissing my lips. God, he was so good looking that it wasn't even normal.

"I was just going to run," I muttered, giving him a dazed smile. "We can hang out, though."

"No, don't change your plans for me. We can run together," he suggested, making me panic. Running with Edward? No way. He had ridiculously long legs. Never.

"You are wearing jeans," I pointed out, feeling so relieved. There was no way I was going to run with him and make an ass out of myself. Nope.

"Well, we can go to the mall and I can buy a pair of sweatpants. It will only take fifteen minutes," he said, beaming at me as my stomach sank nervously. He was right. Going to the mall and buying a pair of sweatpants wouldn't take very long. However, I wasn't going to admit this to him. We weren't running together. Period.

"That is not neccesary, Edward," I said, looking everywhere but his face. "We can stay inside."

"We always stay inside, Bella," he said, grabbing my chin. "You don't want me to join you?"

Not having anything to say, I just nodded meekly.

"I don't understand. Why?" He asked, kissing my lips softly.

"God, the reason is obvious, but for some reason nobody seems to understand," I groaned in anger.

"What is the reason, grumpy?"

"The reason is I am not the most attractive when I'm trying to run, Edward," I rushed out, not even looking at him. "I hate working out and I know I look ridiculous when I work out. I don't want to run with you because I will look like a fat loser next to you."

"First of all, stop calling yourself fat," Edward said sternly, cupping my cheeks. "Everyone looks ridiculous when they're working out."

"I… well… you don't know…" I mumbled, not even making sense to myself.

"Yeah, I don't know what I can do to make you see how gorgeous you are. You are the hottest woman I have ever seen, baby," he said in a smooth voice and gave me a long kiss.

"You're just shitting, Cullen," I snorted as he kissed my hair. Did he just sniff it? He was weird sometimes.

"I am not. You're gorgeous," he said, looking at my eyes so seriously that I almost believed him. "You don't see yourself the way I see you."

"You are way too cheesy," I said but smiled at the same time. He already made me feel better.

"You are way too gorgeous."

"God, Edward," I giggled, smacking his chest and feeling like a giddy girl. He had so much power over me.

"So, are we going to the mall?" he asked, eagerly. "I need to buy some basketball shorts anyway."

"Edward, no," I groaned, but he started pouting. "We can go to the mall to buy you shorts, but we're not running."

"We can play basketball," Edward nearly yelled, giving me a big ass smile. "We can go to my house and play there. This way noone will see us. How is that?"

"I don't know how to play basketball," I objected, frowning.

"I can teach you. It will be fun," he almost squealed, reminding me of Alice.

"Edward, I am horrible at sports. You can try to teach me, but I am sure I can't learn how to play."

"Wanna bet?" he asked, grinning cheekly and that was how I found myself trying to play basketball in Cullen's big backyard.

I had to admit that it was actually really fun to play basketball with Edward. It was also the best work out of my life. It was by no means an easy sport and I didn't quite understand what was going on, but it was still fun. Even Carlisle joined us at one point, making me feel nervous, however, he was worse than me, so that was okay. At the end of the day, I was a grinning, sweaty mess.

"Thank you for today," I said as Edward drove me home. "It was fun."

"I told you so," he said in a smug tone, winking. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. We should do it again."

"Definitely."

I wanted to invite Edward inside for some drinks, but I had to shower, so I had to say goodbye to him. After taking a long shower and changing into some comfortable clothes, I grabbed a book and got in my bed. Just as I was really getting into the story, my phone rang and I groaned loudly when I saw my mother's name on the screen. Well, I guess she gave me enough space.

After spending nearly twenty minutes telling her everything and trying to convince her that I was fine, it was my father's turn and it was even more embarrassing than talking to Mom. My dad and I were always close to each other, but we never talked about my relationships. Well, that might be because of the fact that I never had a real relationship until now.

"Bring Edward to dinner sometime," my dad grumbled as we were ending our call. "This week."

"Dinner?" I croaked out, closing my eyes. I knew my dad loved Edward, but that was before I dated him.

"Yeah, dinner. What about this Friday?"

"Okay, Dad."

Edward took the invitation better than me. He told me that it was normal that my dad wanted to see us as a couple to see if Edward deserved me. I had to snort at that. I thought that the only reason my father wanted us to have dinner with them was to frighten Edward. When I told this to Edward, it was his turn to snort this time.

Friday came sooner than I thought. Thank God, Edward didn't complain at all and answered all of my father's questions without getting frustrated. I mean, my dad was extra annoying that night, but I guess I understood him. He knew I loved Edward ever since high school, so he knew this relationship was serious. At least for me.

At the end of the night, my mother grabbed Edward and took him to living room, claiming that she couldn't turn on the DVD player. I knew it was a lie. She only did it to leave me alone with my father. Sighing, I grabbed a plate and started to clean the table.

"Bella, sit down," my father said, making me freeze.

"Are you happy?" he asked before I could even sit.

"Of course, I am," I said, giving him a large smile.

"Good," he grumbled, looking into my eyes. "Tell me if he does anything to upset you."

"I will, Dad," I said, laughing. "You don't need to worry."

"It is my job to worry, Bella," he said in a gruff voice.

"Oh, Dad, you know I love you so much," I said, standing up and hugging him with all my might. "I am very lucky that you are my father."

"I love you, too," he grumbled as his face got red.

"What are you two doing here?" my mother sang, entering the kitchen.

"As if you don't know," I said, making my dad chuckle. "Where is Edward?"

"Jasper called," my mother said, gesturing the living room.

"Okay, let's clean this kitchen," I said but my mother wrapped me in a big hug. "What's going on?"

"I am so happy for you, baby," she said, sniffing. "It's so obvious that he loves you so much. He is the one for you."

"Thanks, Mom," I managed to mumble awkwardly as I patted her shoulder.

That night, Edward drove me home while my mind was beyond busy with thoughts about our future. Edward had always been in my future thoughts and dreams. Now that they had the possibility of becoming true, I found myself anxious. Anxious to find out. Anxious to live my life with him.

"It's so beautiful out," I commented when we got out of the sky was clear and it was almost warm outside.

"Let's go, then," Edward said, grabbing my hand and walking towards the ice cream parlor. "We can eat some ice cream and walk."

"Great," I said, beaming at him.

We bought our ice cream cones and started walking down the street hand in hand. Even though my high heeled shoes made me cringe in pain, I was so content to be walking with Edward like this. Suddenly, he dropped my hand and threw his arm around my shoulders, making me shriek.

"When did you finish yours?" I asked when he made an attempt to take my ice cream cone.

"I love strawberries," he whispered, kissing my cheek and this caused my cheeks to get red for some reason.

"Okay, take this," I said, too flustered to eat anything and offered my ice cream to him.

Edward devoured that one in seconds, making me snicker. He acted like a caveman sometimes. We walked around for a little while, commenting on things and talking about random stuff, but I had some questions to ask, and I felt like it was a good time to ask now.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, sounding so sickly sweet that I almost smacked myself. This was awkward!

"Of course," he answered back in a sugary sweet voice, mocking me.

"Don't be an ass, Edward," I grumbled as he snickered. "It's important for me."

"Okay, I'm sorry, Bella," he muttered, giving me another kiss. "Tell me. What is it?"

"I was wondering something, but I don't know how to ask you."

"You can ask me anything you want to," he said, not having any idea what I was going to ask.

I really wanted to learn it, but I didn't know how to put my question into words. It wasn't something that we talked about before. So, the next sentence that came out of my mouth shocked both me and Edward.

"How many women have you dated? Like really date? You know sex and stuff?"

Yeah, it was going to be a long and awkward conversation.

* * *

><p>Hello, everyone!<p>

Another chapter! I know it is shocking!:)

I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed last chapter. I am really looking forward to hearing your opinion about this chapter.

Have a great weekend!

E.


	18. Chapter 18

**NOTE: This chapter isn't edited. I am sure there are many mistakes in it. Please tell me if it is too bad. Thank you!**

* * *

><p><strong>Seven Years<strong>

**BPOV**

Sex and stuff? Really? Did I just use those words? Did I just ask him that? A part of me tried to justify that I had every right to ask that, but I still felt like a dork. I could have been subtle. God, why couldn't I be more subtle? Oh, I just had to make an ass out of myself as usual. However, I was too curious to care right now. Not too curious to sense the awkwardness in the air though.

"God, this is freaking awkward," I mumbled, finally looking at his shocked face. Yep, all kinds of awkward.

"I wasn't expecting this question," he said, smiling and then cleared his throat loudly.

"Yep, unexpected," I stuttered as my heart beat wildly in my chest.

I didn't know what to say to him and we just stood there silently for a few seconds. I thought this would have been easier, but this was just weird. Every silent second made me more scared that I wouldn't like his answer.

"It's not a hard question," I muttered, suddenly feeling bitter.

"Bella, this is not something we should talk right now," he finally said, making me freeze on my spot. What did he mean? Did I need to sit down? Was it that bad?

"It's just a simple question. I don't know how many girlfriends you had and I want to know," I repeated, feeling stupid all the time. It was obvious that he wasn't comfortable about telling me these things and this caused me to get even more curious.

"You know my girlfriends, Bella," he grumbled, looking everywhere but me and making me even more wary.

I knew I would feel embarrassed about the way I was behaving tonight later, but now I simply lost control. It wasn't a habit of mine to act like a bitch. Tonight, I was a curious bitch and I was ready to do anything to get some answers.

"Why aren't you looking at me? Look at me," I demanded, grabbing his hand. "We should be able to talk about this stuff. It is important for our relationship."

"I know, I know, it is just… I don't want you to think less… I mean, there are some… God, Bella, let's go get a coffee," he rushed out, and started to drag me towards the coffee shop that was across the street.

Every step that I took towards that coffee shop felt heavy. I knew he was going to tell me something that I had never heard before, and I was almost sure that I wasn't going to like it. I wasn't delusional enough to think that he had never been with someone before me, yet I knew I wasn't going to handle it very well.

He opened the door of the coffee shop and found us a table in the corner. I was ready to burst into tears of frustration when we ordered our coffee.

"Edward," I groaned.

"So, what do you want to know?" he asked, giving me a weak smile.

"I just thought that it would be nice we we talked about our past relationships," I offered, as my face started to burn in embarrassment and frustration.

"Yeah," he groaned, taking a huge breath.

"Edward, why are you acting like this?" I finally snapped, not being able to take it anymore. "You're acting like you're hiding something huge from me."

"No, nothing like that," he said hurriedly. "I am just scared that you will be disappointed in me. That's all."

The moment the words left his lips, I felt my body freeze in fear. What kind of things was he going to tell me, for God's sake? Was he a manwhore? What the hell did he do in Chicago? Rose kept telling me that there were so many things about him that I didn't know, but I always ignored her. Maybe, I should have listened.

"Now, I'm terrified," I whispered. He tried to grin, but his wide eyes gave him away.

"So, you want to know everything, right? Should I start from the beginning?" He asked, sounding nervous as hell.

"Please," I said, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

"I dated four girls, Jane, Jennifer, Jasmine and Kate, but you already knew that."

I already knew that he had dated these girls, so it was no revelation. My mind was on other things. Jane was the girl he dated in high school and Jennifer was the blonde beauty who came to our prom with him. God, how I hated her! And then there was Kate. She seemed harmless, but would it stay the same way? I was about to go crazy. How many of them was he really together? You know, like that.

"I already know this," I snapped, getting impatient. My emotions were all over the place and I wanted him to just spill it. Why was he dragging it anyway?

"Just Jasmine, okay?" he rushed out as his face got red.

I once saw a picture of Jasmine when I was using his laptop. She was a gorgeous redhead with sparkling blue eyes and huge boobs. The moment I saw her, I wanted to smash his laptop, but I calmed down once he told me that they had already broken up and he wasn't aware that he still had that picture.

"Is this the one you dated before we started talking again?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah. I didn't date anyone after her. Until you," he said.

"Okay," I muttered, feeling ferociously jealous.

"We dated for a year and she was my first," he said, digging the knife deeper. Asshole. If he liked red headed girls, what the hell was he doing with me?

"Did you love her?" I asked in a meek voice that made me hate myself, but I had to know.

"I wasn't in love with her. I just liked her," he said, awkwardly and grabbed my hand. "She's married now."

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" I blurted out, glaring at him.

"No, it is just… whatever," he muttered, squeezing my hand.

"So, that's it? Just Jasmine?" I asked and regretted it the moment I saw his eyes. He looked bothered. I knew there was more. Why not? It wasn't like he spent his college years miserable like me.

"She was the only one that I was serious about."

"So, there were other ones that you weren't serious about," I concluded, ithcing to slap his face.

"Just one more," he said, grabbing the collar of his jacket. His face turned into a paler shade, and seeing him like that made me see red.

"Spill it, Edward," I grumbled, taking my head out of his.

"She wasn't my girlfriend or anything. Look… It wasn't something seriıus. It was just sex. She wanted it to be that way," he rushed out as his face gained some color.

"So, you wanted it to be more than sex?" I asked, barely keeping myself from leaving.

"No, Bella. We both wanted the same thing."

It was way too much for me to handle. I tried to keep it cool, but I had difficulty in breathing and my hands were shaking terribly. How come he was so nonchalant about all of these? I was dying inside!

"I can't believe you," I whispered, looking everywhere but him. "You never mentioned that you had a…"

"Bella, come on. We were just friends with benefits. It was nothing more," he said, sounding like he was about to cry. It would serve him well…

"What is her name?" I asked. As much as I hated her for even existing, I wanted to know more about her.

"Judy."

God, did he have a thing for women whose names started with J?

"So, how did you meet this Judy?"

"We took a couple of classes together," he mumbled, trying to hold my hand again, but he wasn't successful. "Bella," he whined, but I wasn't having it.

"So, did you just decide to be intimate, or something else happened?" I asked bitterly.

"We went to a party together and got a little drunk. It happened that night and she wanted to continue. I didn't have anyone in my life, so it sounded good. It wasn't something serious, though."

The way he said that he hadn't had anyone in his life that time hurt a lot. I was in his life then even if he only saw me as a friend. Even the thought of imagining him with another girl while I had been pining for him filled my eyes with tears. He was an asshole!

"I think I need to go home now," I mumbled, trying to stand up, but Edward was faster than me. "I want to be alone."

"I'm not going anywhere," he said, giving me a stern look.

"You're going to your home, Edward. I just want to be alone when I think about your horrid past."

"Horrid past," he said, sounding shocked. "Come on, Bella, it is hardly horrid."

"You had a fuck buddy," I countered back, feeling my face burn. "I was so in love with you that I couldn't even see that you were fucking some girl behind my back."

I knew I was being horribly dramatic, but it hurt too much. All those time… All those years. I kept to myself. I couldn't even like another guy because they were nothing compared to Edward. Knowing that he had fun while I was suffering was too much.

"What was I supposed to do? Tell you all about her?" He asked as I put on my coat.

"Yes!" I hissed, grabbing my bag. "You chose to hide everything from me instead."

"Everything? Bella, it wasn't something that was worth mentioning," he said, trying to grab my arm.

"You should have told me," I said, not even giving him a glance.

"That's enough," he said, grabbing my chin and forcing met o look at him. "When I had that thing with Judy, you were my best friend, Bella. How was I supposed to tell you that? You would tell me it was wrong. I know you. You would tell me that I was being an asshole," he rushed out and then softly kissed my forehead. "Believe me when I tell you that you are the only woman I have ever loved. I love you."

I believed him even if it didn't make any sense. But it wasn't enough for today.

"I still want to go home and be alone, Edward."

"Okay. At least, let me walk you home," he grumbled and I nodded.

With that, we went outside and walked towards my home in silence. When I finally entered my apartment, all I wanted to do was sleep. I knew that my brain and heart couldn't handle any more thinking. I wanted to go to sleep and forget everything.

However, when I woke up in the morning, the first thing I could think about was last night. A part of me knew that I was being irrational. Those girls were all before we started dating. The thing is I wasn't really upset about Jasmine. What bothered me was Judy. His friend who he benefited from. God, I had a terrible headache and I felt awful.

I took a shower and tried to have some breakfast, but I was restless. I needed to talk to someone. I needed to scream. God, I needed to understand why I was this angry. I needed to understand why I couldn't be reasonable. So, I did the first thing that came to my mind. I called Rose.

"So, you are pissed that he had a fuck buddy when you were just friends with him," Rose said, slurping her coffee.

We were in my living room and I was about to cry.

"I don't know why I am this upset. I just know that I am so pissed. I have never heard of that girl's name before! He kept it from me! How could he do it?"

"Bella, can you please calm down?" Rose asked gently.

I took a deep breath to keep myself from bursting into tears. "I am so… I don't know how to describe it, Rose. You know how much I love him. I just can't understand… It is just so… Okay, here it goes… I am really, really jealous, okay? I am so bitterly jealous that he enjoyed himself while I was making a fool out of myself for him! I hate him!"

"He wasn't aware of your feelings at that time Bella, so I think you shouldn't blame him for something he did then," Rose said, softly.

"I know he didn't know anything back then, but he keeps telling me that I have always been the most important thing. I just can't stomach the thought of him with someone else like that," I said, wiping my eyes.

"Men are like this, Bella. Single men likes to mingle with women and they love one night things. I know you are such a hopeless romantic, but this is the truth," she said, making me roll my eyes.

"Don't make fun of me. I know how men are."

"Really?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Rose," I grumbled as she snickered. "Okay, I am kind of clueless when it comes to men and relationships, but I am not naive."

"I know, honey," she said, sobering up. "I still think you shouldn't be mad at Edward about something you did before you were a couple. Yeah, maybe he should have told you sooner, but that is all."

"I know I can't judge him for that," I whimpered, sighing. "How could he do that, though? I mean, he is a great guy. I know him. He claims he isn't, but he is actually quite sensitive. It's just hard to imagine him in a relationship like that."

"Bella, come on! He didn't do anything wrong. I think the problem is that you always see Edward as this perfect guy even when it's obvious that he's just normal. It just shocked you to see that he did some things that weren't very close to what you imagined him doing," Rose said, patting my knee.

"I know he isn't perfect, Rose. I just… it hurts, you know. I didn't expect him to be a virgin, but I didn't expect him to be this experienced, either," I let out, grabbing the cushion.

"Come on, Bella. He says he has only been with two people. It isn't that many. I hardly call it experienced."

"Aaargh, I know I am being a stupid fat ass," I growled, punching the cushion.

"Again?" She groaned, giving me a glare. "It's just bullshit, Bella."

"It is not," I whined. "I saw a picture of Jasmine. She is beautiful. I am sure that friend, Judy is beautiful as well."

"Stop already," she groaned, pinching my leg. "You know you're an attractive woman. There's nothing to doubt about that. The moment you say goodbye to your frightening insecurities, you will enjoy everything more," she continued, wriggling her eyebrows.

"Rose, you say these stuff and I know some of them are genuine and heartfelt, but I just can't bring myself to accept that," I said, tearing up. "I don't know what to do with Edward. I am just so afraid that I will lose him."

With that, I started to really cry, causing Rose to look at me with shocked eyes.

"Come here," she said, pulling me to her and hugged me tightly. "You're being silly."

"I know I am, but I can't help it. What am I going to do?"

"First of all, you're going to accept that you're amazing," Rose said, playing with my hair. "Stop being so pessimist all the time."

"Do you know who you are talking to?" I asked, making Rose chuckle. "I wasn't like this before I met Edward. He has the power to turn me into a sobbing mess."

"And you have the power to turn him into a blubbering mess. Remember my party? Remember your prom? He even managed to make me believe that he really loves you."

"Prom," I whispered, suddenly smiling like a fool. "I am making a big deal of this, aren't I?"

"Exactly."

"God, I nearly kicked his ass," I hissed as Rose shook her head. "He must be so pissed."

"He isn't pissed, believe me, Bella," Rose said, rolling her eyes. "Actually, Alice called me this morning and complained about Edward for like ten minutes. Apparently, he's brooding."

My heart twisted painfully in my chest upon hearing that. It seemed like whenever we made some progress, I did something stupid to ruin everything. I was the biggest drama queen when it came to Edward related matters. I just couldn't help it.

When I thought about it now, I knew I was being completely irrational. It didn't matter whomever he dated before me. It was all before me. What we had now was important and I wasn't going to taint it by dwelling on the past even if I was crazy jealous of that Judy.

"I think I should call him," I mumbled, but what would I say? Sorry for being an insecure bitch? I didn't think it would be appropriate.

As soon as Rose left, I called Edward, fearing the worst, but he surprised me again. We agreed to meet for dinner and I was beyond nervous. I had to be the worst girlfriend ever. I always thought that my past relationships didn't work out because of my feelings for Edward, but I managed to screw up everything with Edward too. Maybe, it was just me. What was I going to say to him without sounding whiny or needy?

Maybe, we shouldn't even be trying to be an item in the first place. Wasn't this thing supposed to be easy? All we did was argue about stupid shit I caused. I didn't know how to move past all of these things without driving myself or Edward crazy.

A few hours later, I was sitting in a small restraurant with a nervous looking Edward. He looked like he was waiting for me to lash out in any minute and it hurt to see him so guarded.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, giving him a small smile. "I shouldn't have forced you to tell me like that. I shouldn't have acted like that."

"It's okay. I'm sorry, too," he said in a calm voice, making me freak out more. Was he going to break up with me?

"I know I'm being too whiny," I said without thinking.

"It's not you being whiny that hurts, Bella," he said in a serious voice. "You don't trust this thing between us."

"I trust you. It seems like we can't… we don't know how to be together," I stuttered as he looked at me with wide eyes. "We have so many problems."

"Can you please tell me what our problems are, please?" He asked in a tight voice. "Because, I don't see any."

"Can't you see? Everything is a problem because of me! We can't force this to work out," I whisper yelled as my eyes filled with tears.

"God, I am going crazy here!" He groaned, making me jump. "You're not causing any problems, Bella. You're just way too obsessed with past. I am ready to move on with you, but you keep thinking about past. I know I made so many mistakes and gave you a lot of reasons to not to trust me, but it was all past. You're not even making any effort to get to know me as your boyfriend. You keep shying away from me and I'm not talking about physical stuff here. Oh, and I happen to love the way you look, by the way," he rushed out, his eyes getting wider and I was literally speechless.

When the words first left his lips, they felt like accusations and I started forming responses in my head, but then I got him. He was right. I put a wall between us without even knowing. We were still close to each other, but I started expecting the worst from him and tried to protect myself unintentionally. What I couldn't see was that he wasn't still that jerk from high school.

"I'm trying, Edward" I whimpered as he stroked my hand. "I really am. I am just so scared that we are going to ruin what we have if we move forward. I get it now. I am so scared that I'm not going to be enough for you and nothing will be the same again."

"You really are crazy, Bella," he groaned, shaking his head. "It should be me who is afraid of not being enough for you."

His sentence made me snort. As pathetic as it made me feel, he was all I ever wanted. With his flaws, problems and everything, I loved him

"You're being silly," I said, giving him a small smile.

"Am I? You're the one who is being silly," he said and then his face lightened up. "I have an idea. Let's pretend that we have just met tonight!"

"What?" I giggled as he kept grinning brightly.

"Come on, let's forget all the bad shit for a while. Let's write a new story," he gushed and his eyes actually sparkled.

"You're being sooo cheesy right now," I laughed, but I was giddy.

"Yeah, and I don't care. So, start telling me about the things you like. You know, boks and stuff, but please don't include Emma. I have heard enough about it."

"Hey, don't insult Emma," I said, laughing and everything felt right again.

It was very weird and funny, but we pretended that we knew nothing about each other all through the night and I actually learned new stuff about Edward. He talked to me about his college days in Chicago and I tried to rein in my bitterness about his previous girlfriends. I told him about Riley and my grandmother and we decided to visit her one day. He admitted that he was actually very jealous when his sister Lizzy was born and I had to laugh since I already knew that because of Esme and my mom.

It shocked me to learn that Edward had some insecurities as well. He admitted that he was afraid that I would get bored.

"I can be a pain in the ass and you might think enough is enough," he said in a serious tone as I gaped at him. "What? I drive my mom crazy with my whining and I seriously suspect that Alice wants to strangle me sometimes."

"Oh, I already know you can be an asshole, Edward," I joked, snickering. "I don't think you can get worse."

"I have a horrible temper."

"I still remember the argument that you started in that cafe last summer," I said, shaking my head. "Can't get any worse."

"I'm a very jealous man. I hate every single one of your ex boyfriends with a passion."

"I don't like your ex girlfriends either," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"I tend to whine a lot when I don't get what I want."

"Yep. Whenever we go out to watch a movie," I said, shrugging and he smiled. "They don't matter. You're great."

"Thank you. See? What you find lacking about yourself doesn't matter to me. As you said, you're great. You may not like the way you look, but you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," he said in a low voice that made me shudder.

"Cheesy," I sang, but his words affected me deeply.

His words made me feel loved and lucky. I wasn't going to dwell on past any longer. This time, I was certain.

* * *

><p>Hi, everyone!<p>

I want to thank all of you for reading and reviewing this story!:) I have some good news. There are only two chapters left and I am going to finish this one really soon. And then, Ideal Husband. If you haven't read it, can you please go and take a look?:)

Anyway, I have something to say about this story. I know this Bella isn't the strongest or smartest out there, but it wasn't my intention to write a perfect Bella. I just wanted to tell the story of an insecure girl who is deeply in love.

So, thank you again!

Have a great day!


	19. Chapter 19

**This chapter isn't edited and I am sure it has many, many mistakes. So, sorry:) **

* * *

><p><strong>August, 2015<strong>

**BPOV**

Life was such a strange thing. You could never know what would happen next. You could never be sure that you had it right. You could never be sure that everything would go on as you wanted them to go. There was only one thing that you could be sure about and that was the fact that life would always, always surprise you. Maybe, that mystery was the thing that made us want to go on living despite everything bad. We kept hoping that the thing that would come next would be better than the last.

I used to loathe being surprised since there were almost never any good surprises for me. Well, I had a pretty good life and my friends and parents were amazing. I was a fairly happy person whojust happened to be deeply in love with someone who seemed so unattainable. Being able to reach his heart was the biggest surprise of my life and I still reveled in it.

Love was the strangest thing ever. Was there any explanation when it came to love? How did our hearts decide on whom to love? Why that person? I still didn't know what made me love Edward this much. I still had no idea what happened that morning to make me fall in love with him after knowing him for nearly two years. What happened to our reasoning and pride when we fell in love? Mine just dissolved. Was love that paramount?

Hell, there were even more complicated things that still made me think. What made him fall in love with me after knowing me for all those years? Did it just take a special moment to love somebody or did it grow inside you waiting for you to notice its presence? Did he love me all along like he claimed or did he open his eyes later? There were too many questions that I still couldn't give proper answers to, but I didn't care about finding the perfect answers anymore. There was only one thing I believed in and it was enough. He was in love with me.

Being together wasn't easy all the time though. Yeah, I loved him like crazy, but it wasn't easy to wipe the past. There were good times when I was really confident about myself while there were bad times when I didn't even want to see his face. As much as I hated myself, I just wanted to hide from him. Maybe even forget all about him. I couldn't and I didn't hide. I knew there was no good in hiding. I had to be strong enough to wipe all of my insecurities. I had to face them. I had to face him.

It would be a lie to say he was the most understanding person. He was a pain in the ass. He sometimes knew me better than I knew myself and that scared me to death. Whenever I pushed him away, he pulled me towards himself, driving me crazy. He didn't let me face antyhing by myself. He was with me all the time. Even though I didn't admit it to him, I was glad he was this persistent. He always made me feel better. Always.

Today was an exception though. Nothing or nobody could make me feel good in this hideous dress I was wearing. I told Rose again and again that the dress she chose looked horrible on me, but she didn't care. It was long, tight and made my breasts look a lot bigger than usual, and I had a pretty ample chest to begin with. I didn't even want to talk about my butt. It was that terrible. Horrendous. To top it all, it was a deep burgundy color that made me look like a huge red apple. However, I didn't have the chance to say no. Rose was the bride, so that meant she was the boss. We were just a bunch of poor people who had to do whatever she ordered.

"I hate Rose," I groaned as Alice tried to tame my crazy hair.

"Shut up. You don't. Your hair looks horrible, though," Alice said, giving me a wide smile. "How is Edward's hair?"

"Stop, Alice," I mumbed, blushing furiously as she winked. God, I knew she would tell everyone and they would tease me mercilessly.

Although I hated the dress with passion, Edward seemed pretty impressed when he saw me in Mrs. Hale's living room. He was so impressed that we ended up in the bathroom and were actually having a pretty good time until Alice rudely interrupted us. It was all my stupid boyfriend's fault. I was trying to find something to drink when he found me. And then, Alice found us making out like crazy, making me find myself in this annoying situation, so it was also Alice's fault. And, she was still talking.

"His hair seemed pretty messy as well."

"Cut it out, Alice," I said, trying to give her a mean look, but I just looked sheepish.

"I guess he liked the dress, hmm?" She continued, letting out a loud laugh.

I really glared at her this time and she just gave me another annoying wink. "You aren't going to tell anyone, are you?" I asked tentatively, fearing the answer.

"Come on, I have to tell Rose."

"You suck, Alice," I groaned as she cackled.

"Your braid is a mess," Alice hissed, pulling it. "Rose will be so pissed. She's already upset that we keep bickering about the dress."

Yep, Alice hated the dress as well. It wasn't flattering on her.

"She is acting like a drama queen," I grumbled, rolling my eyes. "This wedding thing really stresses her out. Everyone will be okay when it is finally over."

"Isn't today supposed to be the best day of her life?" Alice asked, applying some more lipstick to her already red lips. "Is it just because of Emmett's mother?"

"She is the most annoying person I've ever met," I said, not ever bothering to hide my distaste.

I didn't want to sound rude, but Emmett's mother, Judy, was the biggest bitch I had ever seen in my entire life. She hadn't stopped critising Rose ever since she came to Port Angeles for the wedding. Everything was a problem and they kept arguing over every single thing. Poor Emmett tried enverything he could, but it seemed impossible for those two to get along.

"Yeah, she is annoying. She spent all of the breakfast implying that Emmett could do better than Rose. It was so awkward," Alice said, shaking her head.

"Is she crazy?" I snorted. "There is noone better than Rose and they are perfect for each other. If she can't see that, it is her damn problem."

"Thank you, Bella. I really needed to hear that," Rosalie said, sniffing as she entered the room and sat down beside me on the couch. "I really can't stand her."

"Oh, come on. Don't let her do that to you," I wailed as my eyes filled with tears as well. "Don't let her ruin today."

"Why won't she like me?" she whimpered, grabbing my hand. "Am I that difficult to like? I do everything she asks me to do, but she isn't giving me a chance."

"That is because she is a bitch," Alice said, making us giggle.

"Yeah, Rose, it has nothing to do with you. You're a great person. You deserve to be happy with Emmett. Just don't mind her."

"It is just… I just feel so jealous when I see you and Esme together, you know," she mumbled, surprising the hell out of me. "She genuinely loves you and appreciates you. What did I do to make Judy hate me this much?"

"You did nothing. You are a nice, beautiful and intelligent person. Emmett is head over heels in love with you. You aren't getting married to Judy, Rose. Forget about her," I said, looking into her eyes and giving her a reassuring smile.

"As for Esme, don't even compare her to Judy. Esme is the nicest person ever. She is already picking out names for Edward and Bella's children," Alice intervened, making my heart jump in my chest.

Marriage…

I knew marriage wasn't something that was going to happen soon for me, and I was completely okay with this fact. When Alice and Jasper got married last winter, I was a little obsessed with the idea of getting married for a little bit. When Emmett proposed to Rose, all I could think about was how Edward was going to propose for a few days. However, I managed to get over it quickly. It wasn't hard to realise that we didn't need a wedding ring. We were going strong and he was everything to me.

"Now, are you ready to put on your wedding dress? Your cousins are about to be here in any minute," Rose's mother chirped as she ran into the room. I had never seen her this excited, and her excitement was enough to put a big smile on Rose's face.

The rest of the day passed smoothy compared to the morning we had, and even Judy was smiling at the end of the ceremony. Rose looked so beautiful and happy during the ceremony that I couldn't help but shed a few tears of happiness. It was such a bizarre thing to see her getting married. She would have her own family as she always wanted. She was somebody's wife. She was Rose McCarthy now. I was so happy for her.

"You look gorgeous," Edward said, sitting next to me and kissing my cheek. "I missed you today."

"We were together all day long, Edward," I muttered, smiling. I couldn't stop looking at Rose. "She is the first person I met when we moved to Port Angeles, you know. We practically grew up together. I can't believe she is married," I said, turning towards Edward.

"Emmett is a great guy. I'm sure they will be happy," Edward whispered, kissing my temple. "Alice stole you away from me. I was very lonely," he said, pouting and not looking ridiculous like any other person would look.

"You had Emmett and Jasper," I said, kissing his chin and smelling him. He smelled incredible.

"Did you just sniff me?" He chuckled, throwing his arm around me and pulling me towards him.

"Shut up," I mumbled. "I was just looking if you're drunk."

"You are so funny sometimes," he said in a mocking voice, giving me a huge grin. "Come on, let's go find a quiet place. I want to ask you something."

With these words, he pulled me out of my chair and dragged me inside the house.

He wanted to ask me something.

He wanted to ask me something.

He wanted to ask me something.

There were a million things going on in my mind. What was he going to ask? Was he going to propose?

God, he was going to propose! There was no other explanation.

"So many people," Edward grumbled while passed Rose's stuck up cousins.

"Let's go to Rose's old room. Upstairs," I said, leading him towards the staircase.

"Are we going to have some alone time there?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows and making me laugh despite the situation we were in.

My heart was about to burst as Edward pushed open Rose's door only to reveal a crying girl inside. She jumped when she saw us and tried to wipe her tears. Just my luck.

"Annie, what's wrong?" I asked, recognising her. She was Emmett's cousin. She was a great girl with amazing curly black hair and beautiful green eyes.

"Nothing," she sniffed, standing up. "I'll leave you two alone."

"No, you aren't leaving us alone. Tell me what's wrong."

A moment ago, all I wanted to do was be alone with Edward, but for some reason I couldn't let Annie leave this room in tears. I saw myself in her. She was eighteen and she was such a beautiful girl. She was shy, though. She was a little plump and I knew how it felt when you were a teenager. I still knew how it felt, but I didn't let my weight control me. Yeah, I was still plump and I loved myself.

"It is stupid," she sniffed, glancing at me and then Edward.

"Do you want me to leave?" Edward asked, taking an awkward step towards the door.

"You guys are so perfect together, you know," Annie rushed out, pulling me to sit down next to her. "It is so obvious that you love each other."

"Thank you," I said, not knowing what else to say.

"I thought he was different," she continued as tears fell down her face. "I thought he liked me too."

"Who?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Whenever I saw her, she was staring at Rose's cousin, Nick. It was so obvious that she liked him. It was so obvious to everyone. Nick seemed like he liked Annie, though. I didn't know what the problem was.

"Nick," she breathed out, looking at me with large green eyes. She really was a beautiful girl. "You know we met before. When Rose's mother came to meet my aunt Judy, Nick came with her. I am the youngest in the family, so we hang out while others talked about the wedding. At first, I hated him. He was so full of himself, but then I got used to him. When he was in Florida, I had the best two weeks of my life. He told me he liked me. He kissed me," she said, giving me a shy smile. "We spent four months talking on the phone and on Skype. We are even going to the same college this fall. I was so excited to see him today. How could I be so stupid?"

She was openly sobbing when she finished talking and all I could do was hug her with all my might. She was just eighteen years old and I could imagine how much she was hurting. I knew how much she was hurting.

"What did he do?" Edward asked in a weird voice with an even weirder expression on his face. He sat down next to Annie.

"He is an asshole," Annie said, wiping her tears. "I just got here today and the first thing I did was to find him, because I missed him. When I found him, he was with his sisters."

"Mona and Charlotte," I stated and she nodded. "They are horrible."

"Yeah, they are. They didn't even let me talk to him. The moment they found out I am the girl that Nick has been talking for the last few months, they just started laughing. One of them practically called me fat, and the worst part is Nick. He didn't say anything. He didn't do anything. He just stood there and let them make fun of me."

Her story was so close to my heart that I was actually about to burst into tears. I knew how cruel people could be. I knew how much it crushed your soul to get your hopes and dreams up and then watch them vanish. I knew how much it hurt when you saw that people judge you just because of the way you look.

"I am so sorry," I said, wrapping my arms around her. My eyes caught Edward at that moment. He was practically vibrating with anger.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, causing Annie to turn to look at him.

"You know what, Annie?" Edward asked, grabbing Annie's hand. "Boys can be total jerks sometimes. Believe me, he doesn't deserve you and you will find someone much more better than him."

I shook my head and gave him a sad smile. He had no idea.

"But, what if I want him?" Annie asked in a small voice, making me smile despite the situation we were in. She was so much like me.

"Talk to him," I cut in, giving her an encouraging smile. "As Edward said, boys can be rather stupid at times. I am sure he feels something for you,otherwise he wouldn't spend those months trying to get to know you. Just ask him what is wrong."

"You should make him work for it, though," Edward said, causing Annie to smile. "He obviously doesn't deserve you."

"Thank you, guys," Annie said, giving both of us a hug. "I need to find Mom. She must be pissed that I disappeared."

Giving us a smile, she left the room, leaving us in an awkward silence. Edward was the one who spoke a few seconds later.

"I hate myself.I hate that I made you cry like that."

Of course, he went there. Whenever there was a chance, he went there. He kept blaming himself even though I told him again and again that it didn't matter anymore. What was done was done. I forgave him. I loved him. I was over it.

"Yeah, you made me cry more than once," I said and saw him flinch. "Look at me," I continued, turning his face towards me. "It doesn't matter anymore. I love you."

"I don't deserve you, but I am too selfish to let you go."

"I deserve you because I love you," I whispered, kissing his nose and making him smile. He hated his crooked nose and I loved kissing it.

"You are amazing," he whispered, pressing his lips to mine and effectively making everything but him dissappear. "Just amazing."

"I know. You keep saying that," I muttered, looking into his eyes and melting. How could they be so breathraking?

"Oh, I nearly forgot. I need to ask you something," he suddenly said as my heart started going crazy once again. Yep, the question. Was it the time?

Now was the time, I guess.

While I was expecting him to get down on one knee and show me a sparkly ring, he pulled some papers out of his pocket and shoved them towards me, completely surprising me. Completely underwhelming me.

"What are they?" I asked, trying to hide my disappointment.

"I bought something before asking your opinion. I hope it is okay with you," he said, looking into my eyes and giving me a nervous smile.

No marriage proposal, then. Was I okay with this?

No.

God, I wasn't okay with this. As much as I tried to act nonchalant, I wanted to be tied to him. I wanted him to propose to me. I was such an idiot. Trying to hard my dissappointment wasn't very hard, because Edward was acting quite weird. When I had made no move to look at the papers, he grabbed them out of my hands while giving me a strange smile.

"What did you buy?" I managed to ask in a croaked voice after a few seconds of silence.

"Plane tickets," he answered, suddenly looking very confident. Arrogant Edward was back.

"Where are you going?" I asked, wondering why the hell he was telling me this. He always travelled for work.

"We are going to England," he said like he was saying something really ordinary.

"We are what?" I screamed, causing him to laugh loudly. "Are you joking? If you are joking, you are washing the dishes for the next month!"

"Slow down, baby," he groaned, grabbing my face and squeezing my cheeks. "I am very serious and I have no intention to wash the dishes. I like vacuuming," he said as I punched his arm.

"When? Where?" I asked, eagerly. I was about to jump in joy.

"Tickets are ready. I made reservations in a hotel in London. We are going to stay there for a few days and then we can go wherever you want. We can stay as until September."

"Oh, my God," I literally howled, grabbing his hands and giving him a watery smile. "I just can't believe you. It must be very expensive."

"Don't worry about it. Think of it as an early birthday present," he said, making me fall in love with him all over again.

"The best birthday present ever," I shrieked, giving him a loud kiss. "When are we going?"

"Next month."

"I am speechless, Edward. Thank you," I choked out, trying hard not to cry.

"I should be the one thanking you for everything and I love you," he said, making it very hard for me to stop crying now.

I spent the next few minutes crying ugly tears and kissing Edward, and it was perfect. Going to England was my dream, but I always had to postpone it. Now going with Edward was more than I could even imagine. I started to make a places to visit list in my head.

"Come on, let's go and mingle. They must be wondering where we are," he said, standing up and grabbing my hand.

"I thought you wanted to have some alone time," I breathed out, looking into his eyes and just like this he was hooked.

"Are you serious now?"

"Yep," I said and he was kissing my neck within seconds.

"God, you are serious," he groaned when I made a move to remove his jacket.

"Kiss me," I said in an embarrassingly whiny voice while trying to loosen his tie. "We don't have much time."

I never thought much about sex until Edward, but now I could understand what the big deal was. The first few times were awkward as hell and extremely painful to the point that I swore I would never let him near me again. Once I finally understood the fact that Edward liked my body, I started to relax and once I relaxed, everything became much more fun.

"So amazing," he whispered when we were done. "I love you."

I was about to open my mouth to tell him I loved him too when the door opened and Alice and Jasper entered. Alice was trying to kiss Jasper as Jasper's eyes found us.

"Gross, Edward. Cover up. I didn't need to see your ass," he yelled, causing Edward to freak out and frantically pull up his pants.

"Really? Again?" Alice asked, giggling as I blushed furiously. Thank God, I still had my dress on.

"Shut up, Alice," I groaned and grabbed Edward's hand. "What are you even doing here?"

"Nothing. I can't do anything after seeing Edward's pale ass," Jasper croaked out, making Alice and me burst into laughter.

"I have a great ass, thank you very much," Edward said as we exited the room, leaving a cackling Alice behind.

"Edward, Bella," Annie yelled, running towards us when we went out to the garden when the wedding party took place. She seemed like she was glowing and she was dragging a smiling Nick behind her. "I want you to meet my boyfriend."

"Your boyfriend?" Edward asked, raising his eyebrows.

"You guys are pretty fast, but that is great news," I said, pinching Edward's arm. "So, how did it happen?"

"I felt like a jerk after I let my sisters talk to her like that, so I found her and apologized," Nick said, blushing furiously and smiling. God, they were so cute. "My sisters can be really frightening at times and I just froze like an idiot."

"It doesn't matter now," Annie intervened. "He asked me out right in front of his sisters and I said yes."

"We are really happy for you," I said and watched as they went to the stage to dance.

"I can't believe she forgave him that easily," Edward grumbled, glaring at Nick.

"He is so cute and he apologized," I said, dragging him to the dance floor. "I am sure she's gonna make him suffer, though. She is a smart girl."

"You are a smart girl, yet you are with me," he said, giving me a lopsided grin. "You can do a lot better than me."

"I know," I said and watched as his eyes widened. "But, I choose to be with you. I chose to be with you when I saw you that morning. Nothing could make me change my mind, and look here we are. I love you and I love your surprises."

"I hope you'll never change your mind about me and my surprises," he whispered, kissing my temple.

"Never."

And I meant it.

Never.

Three weeks later, he surprised me by proposing me in a small cottage in England.

Four weeks later, he surprised the hell out of me by arranging everything so we could get married in that small romantic cottage in England. It was amazing and everyone we loved were there with us.

Three years later, he shocked me by bursting into tears when our daughter Emma was born. He rarely cried. Also, when he agreed to name our daughter Emma, it was a big surprise for me.

He still kept surprising me and I loved every single one of them.

THE END.

* * *

><p><strong>Hello, everyone!<strong>

**It is me, again. I am sure you are surprised that I finished this story. I am surprised that I managed to finish this story. It started as something based on my own high school crush and then turned into something really different from mine. These characters are flawed and maybe they don't deserve each other, but they have each other.**

**I hope you enjoyed this story. **

**Now that I finished this, I can start writing Ideal Husband again. Wait for an update in a few days:)**

**Have a great day!**

**E.**


End file.
